Home » Poems » Darren White » My Soul To Water

Darren White | + Follow Poet |

My Soul To Water

Poet's Notes

(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Darren White.

In nights, in stillness those small hours The clock’s quick hands caress me more Than I can remember yours Once held me close so long before I am no lamb but still think: slaughter Is what this is, and in despair I turn to stone, my soul to water You were so much, but never fair I count the myriad smithereens You left floating in the moonlight Feeling in transit, Bedouin Nowhere at home, fearing daylight Your warm heart was a home to me It’s cold now, lacks humanity *** April 12, 2017 Copyright © Darren White

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Pin Dew

Date: 5/1/2017 3:48:00 AM

Wow, that was so universal.. Those feelings just got to me.. Wow..

Maureen Mcgreavy

Date: 4/12/2017 10:08:00 PM

This one left a lump in my throat Piroet. Exquisite pen. 7 and love xomo

Darren White
Date: 4/12/2017 11:36:00 PM

Merci beaucoup, my friend, honoured with the 7 :)

Anne-Marie Coreggia

Date: 4/12/2017 9:19:00 AM

Darren, it seems your crying soul takes strength in its own fragility, and even though you may feel your heart at times cannot find a home to be solaced, know that it has deeply touched everyone who has read your poetry. As you put your 'Soul to Water' many may find an anchor for their pain to rest:) 7 Amitiés

Darren White
Date: 4/12/2017 9:24:00 AM

Anne-Marie, Iam so very lucky to have found so many friends who love my poetry! Thank you so much for you wonderful words :)

Anil Deo

Date: 4/12/2017 7:45:00 AM

Because I can relate ... Because it's true for many ... Because your diction is fabulous ... Even because I hope in all Jesus offers so i forgive her who also 'smithereened' my heart & life, I thank her & bless her. So i cannot write such exquisite poems. WTG

Darren White
Date: 4/12/2017 7:48:00 AM

Thank you for your wonderful comment. And take good care of yourself!

Lin Lane

Date: 4/12/2017 7:07:00 AM

In you there is much pain, but I commend you for your ability to express it in writing and give it gossamer wings to veil the suffering. I agree with Tim on the lamb line. It's exceptional, Darren.

Darren White
Date: 4/12/2017 7:10:00 AM

Lin, thank you so much for your wonderful words about my poem :) Gossamer wings... I love that!

Tim Smith

Date: 4/12/2017 6:43:00 AM

I am no lamb but still think slaughter, that line just peeled the top off your poem...The sadness resonates throughout with makes for great reading.

Darren White
Date: 4/12/2017 7:00:00 AM

Thanks Tim, yes that line sets the tone for the poem, I agree with you. Thank you for liking it.

Chris Green

Date: 4/12/2017 6:09:00 AM

My friend, even when the pen flows sadness, there is still a beauty in the execution and the expression of feelings and emotions. This one breaks my heart.

Darren White
Date: 4/12/2017 6:36:00 AM

Morning Chris, I didn't mean to break your heart. And even with poems that are deeply sad, like this one indeed is, I am always working to make a great poem, that always comes first. Thank you for your always so kind and wonderful comments.

Lisa Ricci

Date: 4/12/2017 4:53:00 AM

Good Day Darren. My goodness. As a child advocate this tugs at me. May no heart or soul turn to stone or cold. May no heart or soul be fractured. Your work and ending line are over the top. It was an honor to read your words. Well done in its entirety.

Darren White
Date: 4/12/2017 5:13:00 AM

Yes, and you read that well, that is exactly what it is about. Thank you Lisa :) And have a very good poetic morning yourself.

Phillip Garcia

Date: 4/12/2017 2:30:00 AM

I'm having the darndest time pushing the image of you falling out of bed laughing in a pomegranate nightmare long enough to waltz properly along with this beautifully composed, very deeply dark sonnet. It's wonderful, truly. So much so that I won't even mention my quibble with 8 syllable lines in sonnets (unless that counts as a quibble, in which case you just got quibbled, but unintentionally - maybe). The first line is incredible. Immediately captured full attention.

Darren White
Date: 4/12/2017 2:42:00 AM

Haha Phillip, but it was true, I DID almost fall out of bed because of pomegranates :D Thank you for the compliment. It is indeed difficult, 8 syllable sonnet, and it's more about the meter than the syllable count! As all true sonnets should be :P But YOUR sonnets are perfect, I learned so much from reading yours :) Sherriff out!

Sara Ella

Date: 4/12/2017 2:16:00 AM

This is so heart wrenching-sad. Wonderfully written, Darren. You write from your heart <3 <3 <3

Darren White
Date: 4/12/2017 2:23:00 AM

Sara my dear friend, thank you <3

Maria Williams

Date: 4/12/2017 2:00:00 AM

Darren in one word Awesome!! If you havent been discovered already , you should be my friend. You are just amazing, and the fact that you are only 21, makes it even more so. An old soul for sure.

Darren White
Date: 4/12/2017 2:07:00 AM

I haven't been discovered yet, that is, Soupers have discovered me :D Thank you Maria, I am so happy that you love my poems.

Eileen Manassian

Date: 4/12/2017 1:57:00 AM

So hauntingly sad...why does love disappoint? I loved this piece....for my heart is a Bedouin too. Hugs

Darren White
Date: 4/12/2017 2:05:00 AM

We both are Bedu :) Thank you, Eileen for your wonderful comment HUGS!