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Notes About The Poem

My Soul To Water

In nights, in stillness those small hours
The clock’s quick hands caress me more
Than I can remember yours
Once held me close so long before

I am no lamb but still think: slaughter
Is what this is, and in despair
I turn to stone, my soul to water
You were so much, but never fair

I count the myriad smithereens
You left floating in the moonlight
Feeling in transit, Bedouin
Nowhere at home, fearing daylight

     Your warm heart was a home to me
     It’s cold now, lacks humanity

***

April 12, 2017
Copyright © Darren White

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Pin Dew Date: 5/1/2017 3:48:00 AM Wow, that was so universal.. Those feelings just got to me.. Wow.. Login to Reply

Maureen McGreavy Pigeon Tart Date: 4/12/2017 10:08:00 PM This one left a lump in my throat Piroet. Exquisite pen. 7 and love xomo Login to Reply Darren White Date: 4/12/2017 11:36:00 PM Merci beaucoup, my friend, honoured with the 7 :)

Anne-Marie Coreggia Date: 4/12/2017 9:19:00 AM Darren, it seems your crying soul takes strength in its own fragility, and even though you may feel your heart at times cannot find a home to be solaced, know that it has deeply touched everyone who has read your poetry. As you put your 'Soul to Water' many may find an anchor for their pain to rest:) 7 Amitiés Login to Reply Darren White Date: 4/12/2017 9:24:00 AM Anne-Marie, Iam so very lucky to have found so many friends who love my poetry! Thank you so much for you wonderful words :)

Anil Deo Date: 4/12/2017 7:45:00 AM Because I can relate ... Because it's true for many ... Because your diction is fabulous ... Even because I hope in all Jesus offers so i forgive her who also 'smithereened' my heart & life, I thank her & bless her. So i cannot write such exquisite poems. WTG Login to Reply Darren White Date: 4/12/2017 7:48:00 AM Thank you for your wonderful comment. And take good care of yourself!

Lin Lane Date: 4/12/2017 7:07:00 AM In you there is much pain, but I commend you for your ability to express it in writing and give it gossamer wings to veil the suffering. I agree with Tim on the lamb line. It's exceptional, Darren. Login to Reply Darren White Date: 4/12/2017 7:10:00 AM Lin, thank you so much for your wonderful words about my poem :) Gossamer wings... I love that!

Tim Smith Date: 4/12/2017 6:43:00 AM I am no lamb but still think slaughter, that line just peeled the top off your poem...The sadness resonates throughout with makes for great reading. Login to Reply Darren White Date: 4/12/2017 7:00:00 AM Thanks Tim, yes that line sets the tone for the poem, I agree with you. Thank you for liking it.

Chris Green Date: 4/12/2017 6:09:00 AM My friend, even when the pen flows sadness, there is still a beauty in the execution and the expression of feelings and emotions. This one breaks my heart. Login to Reply Darren White Date: 4/12/2017 6:36:00 AM Morning Chris, I didn't mean to break your heart. And even with poems that are deeply sad, like this one indeed is, I am always working to make a great poem, that always comes first. Thank you for your always so kind and wonderful comments.

Lisa Ricci Date: 4/12/2017 4:53:00 AM Good Day Darren. My goodness. As a child advocate this tugs at me. May no heart or soul turn to stone or cold. May no heart or soul be fractured. Your work and ending line are over the top. It was an honor to read your words. Well done in its entirety. Login to Reply Darren White Date: 4/12/2017 5:13:00 AM Yes, and you read that well, that is exactly what it is about. Thank you Lisa :) And have a very good poetic morning yourself.

Phillip Garcia Date: 4/12/2017 2:30:00 AM I'm having the darndest time pushing the image of you falling out of bed laughing in a pomegranate nightmare long enough to waltz properly along with this beautifully composed, very deeply dark sonnet. It's wonderful, truly. So much so that I won't even mention my quibble with 8 syllable lines in sonnets (unless that counts as a quibble, in which case you just got quibbled, but unintentionally - maybe). The first line is incredible. Immediately captured full attention. Login to Reply Darren White Date: 4/12/2017 2:42:00 AM Haha Phillip, but it was true, I DID almost fall out of bed because of pomegranates :D Thank you for the compliment. It is indeed difficult, 8 syllable sonnet, and it's more about the meter than the syllable count! As all true sonnets should be :P But YOUR sonnets are perfect, I learned so much from reading yours :) Sherriff out!

Sara Ella Date: 4/12/2017 2:16:00 AM This is so heart wrenching-sad. Wonderfully written, Darren. You write from your heart <3 <3 <3 Login to Reply Darren White Date: 4/12/2017 2:23:00 AM Sara my dear friend, thank you <3

Maria Williams Date: 4/12/2017 2:00:00 AM Darren in one word Awesome!! If you havent been discovered already , you should be my friend. You are just amazing, and the fact that you are only 21, makes it even more so. An old soul for sure. Login to Reply Darren White Date: 4/12/2017 2:07:00 AM I haven't been discovered yet, that is, Soupers have discovered me :D Thank you Maria, I am so happy that you love my poems.

Eileen Manassian Date: 4/12/2017 1:57:00 AM So hauntingly sad...why does love disappoint? I loved this piece....for my heart is a Bedouin too. Hugs Login to Reply Darren White Date: 4/12/2017 2:05:00 AM We both are Bedu :) Thank you, Eileen for your wonderful comment HUGS!