Home » Poems » Jan Allison » His Old Clothes

Jan Allison | + Follow Poet |

His Old Clothes

Poet's Notes

(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Jan Allison.

His old clothes and bear are all I have left in the nursery. I whisper your name, clutch your blue blanket. I’m fragile, bereft ... knowing my life will never be the same My precious baby Jay alone you passed away it was a dreadful day you’d caught a chill became so ill I’m mourning still My shattered heart has an enormous cleft people say I must not shoulder the blame I had called the medics without delay ... It was God’s will FICTION POEM WRITTEN FOR CONTEST Required words Dreadful, blue fragile shattered whisper Line 4 used, His old Clothes The Puzzle of my Rhyme Poetry Contest Sponsored by Broken Wings checked with how many syllables 5/24/18

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Susan Gentry

Date: 6/25/2018 5:51:00 PM

Congratulations on your #1 win! You captured the emotions of such a loss that is forever unbearable. Well done.

Jan Allison
Date: 6/25/2018 5:59:00 PM

thanks so much Susan:-) hugs Jan xx

Constance La France

Date: 6/24/2018 6:54:00 AM

Jan, congratulations on your win in my contest with this emotional and excellent write, well done and that is a wonderful quote too ~

Jan Allison
Date: 6/24/2018 1:41:00 PM

Thanks so much for the inspiration, your contests inspire me to write deep and sad poems:-) hugs jan xx

Line Gauthier

Date: 6/23/2018 2:13:00 PM

A very emotional write, Jan.

Jan Allison
Date: 6/24/2018 1:40:00 PM

Thanks so much Line:-) hugs Jan xx

Reason A. Poteet

Date: 6/23/2018 12:23:00 PM

You captured the essence of the experience of losing a child, fictional or not. Great approach to the difficult prompt from Constance. Salutations on the piece and the placement.

Jan Allison
Date: 6/24/2018 1:40:00 PM

Thanks so much Reason:-) hugs Jan xx

Gershon Wolf

Date: 5/30/2018 3:02:00 PM

Penetrating pen---pierced this heart. Cries and hugs, Jan. :) gw

Jan Allison
Date: 5/30/2018 4:23:00 PM

Thanks Gershon it is an emotive subject:-) hugs Jan xx

Caren Krutsinger

Date: 5/26/2018 12:32:00 AM

This is beautifully written; I did not realize at all that you were using certain words for a contest. It was not "contrived" at all. It flows!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/29/2018 6:53:00 PM

Thanks Caren:-) hugs Jan xx

Arthur Vaso

Date: 5/25/2018 3:51:00 PM

A moment I think we all dread, very well expressed.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/25/2018 3:57:00 PM

Thanks Arthur, I can't imagine the heartbreak of losing a child of any age:-( hugs Jan xx

Charlie Smith

Date: 5/25/2018 11:30:00 AM

Such a sad topic, glad it was fiction, best wishes...

Jan Allison
Date: 5/25/2018 11:35:00 AM

Thanks so much Charlie:-) hugs jan xx

Robert Pettit

Date: 5/25/2018 8:33:00 AM

It was a good thing this work was fictional. The passing of a baby is one of the most dreadful things that could happen to any parent. You have described everything so well with your words that this could easily be mistaken for a true incident.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/25/2018 10:45:00 AM

Thanks for your continued support Robert, you were one of the first poets to comment on my work when i joined in 2014 and i do appreciate your continued support:-) Hugs Jan xx