Home » Poems » Francine Roberts » Getting Old Sucks

Getting Old Sucks

My ass used to wiggle but now it just jiggles. My breasts look down at the floor. Gravity and old age have taken over. I'm not a "pretty young thing" anymore. When I look in the mirror I wonder Who in the hell is that person I see. With grey hair and wrinkles and hair on my chin, That person just couldn't be me. I used to shave my lovely, long legs Before I headed to bed. That really is no longer a concern, I shave my mustache instead. My legs now resemble a road map With lines running here and there. If I could go back in time to my teens I'd join a gym.... I swear. Where on earth did my youth go? I turned around and lost it somehow. It's like aliens took away my body And look what they left for me now. I really don't mean to grumble, I really don't mean to moan. I just want to buy a new body Like the one that I used to own. I guess I will have to just jiggle. It's what my ass will now do. But I'd love to be able to turn back the clock To when my figure was perfect... wouldn't you?

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Poet Destroyer A

Date: 5/29/2014 6:05:00 PM

Francine,,, Double Congrats on Carolyn’s birthday contest. Many smiles, on its future feature in her birthday booklet. XOX~ Linda

Audrey Haick

Date: 5/29/2014 4:00:00 PM

Congratulations on a fabulous win, Francine! Well done! Annalise

Barbara Gorelick

Date: 5/27/2014 1:31:00 PM

This is hilarious...It made me laugh out loud..Congrats to you..BG

Roy Jerden

Date: 5/27/2014 6:00:00 AM

Good one Francine! Still, I could accept the appearance if I could get rid of the aches and pains. Congratulations on the first place win!

Dr.Ram Mehta

Date: 5/27/2014 5:24:00 AM

Congratulations on your fine win, Francine

Skat A

Date: 5/26/2014 8:37:00 PM

Francine, I hope you are well. Congratulations, in Carolyn's "Birthday and Aging Humor" contest. Love ~SKAT~

Pandita Sietesantos

Date: 5/26/2014 7:15:00 PM

Congratulations on your well-deserved win! I can so identify with all of this! Thank you for putting this in writing and sharing with all of us who have the same wishes!

Joyce Johnson

Date: 5/26/2014 6:45:00 PM

Yes indeed, we all would and you said it so well congratulations. Love, joyce

Jan Allison

Date: 5/26/2014 5:16:00 PM

Brilliantly written Francine - a well deserved winner. Hugs Jan x

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 5/26/2014 4:21:00 PM

Dear Birthday girl, I know this is a sad time for you, but I loved your poem and it will be featured in its entirety in the booklet. Thank you for entering. Love and blessings, Carolyn

Hidden Sister

Date: 3/21/2013 12:46:00 AM

This was great! Perfect! Jen

Ralph Taylor

Date: 3/20/2013 3:29:00 PM

Outstanding, Francine. LOL. Great job, my friend. hugs, Ralph.

Delysia Hendricks

Date: 3/19/2013 7:15:00 PM

You must have constructed this poem while gazing at my profile pic. I can sooo identify. Excellent write with impeccable rhyming, Francine. A well-deserved placement, my friend :)

Tahera Mannan

Date: 3/19/2013 12:54:00 AM

Many congrats for this jiggly write and win.

Carol Eastman

Date: 3/18/2013 9:50:00 PM

Ahmen! Loved it. Congratulations on the win.

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 3/18/2013 6:33:00 PM

Francine, thanks for the chuckle and awesome poem.. always~ LINDA

Seren Roberts

Date: 3/18/2013 5:59:00 PM

Loved it Francine, hmm must check out my butt, maybe join a gym....Seren

Lee Ramage

Date: 8/21/2012 8:10:00 PM

Still laughing, oh this is so funny... but sadly true for me. Just wonderful, what a great evening reading this poem. Thanks so much for sharing. Lee

Carol Sunshine Brown

Date: 8/21/2012 7:16:00 AM

Congratulations on your well deserved win Francine. Love, Carol

Nancy Jones

Date: 8/19/2012 4:34:00 PM

You, Francine, are beautiful to me!! And to answer your question, hell no! I wouldn't go back. What I've gained in wisdom through experience FAR outweighs eyelids that don't droop (and other stuff). Great poem, thanks so much for supporting my 'test! Namaste~N

David Williams

Date: 8/19/2012 2:08:00 AM

Francine belated congrats on your win...David

Tim Ryerson

Date: 8/18/2012 9:14:00 AM

Hilarious!!...This doesn't just happen to women you know...I got a few ex-wiggles that just jiggle now to...Congratulations, Francine! - Tim

Elizabeth Wesley

Date: 5/30/2012 4:38:00 PM

Ah Francine, it is not part of the game to go quietly into the night. I could whisper things I do to ward it off and you might die laughing but it is upon me with no warning. Anyhoo, it is a sad fact and I travel the same road and I live with so many "if only's". Love, Elizabeth

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 1/30/2012 8:46:00 PM

GREAT satire on growing old, Francine. I laughed out loud on the hair growing out of you chin. hahaha. I do believe you are exaggerating in this poem, but that is what makes it so great. Poetic license lets us say funny things like this poem does. I really enjoyed this and thanks for my win. LUv, Andrea

Don Johnson

Date: 1/15/2012 10:52:00 PM

yessuh know the feeling dear, age comes tippytoeing by each year, lets burn the candle at both ends, a fiery hot estatic blend, relive our youth, exciting, lil candle 4 the lighting..... a smiling round the bend... fire blazing till the end.