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Fighting For Life - Emotive Write

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For nine long months I nurtured you Soon the time arrived to give birth When you were born your skin was blue I came crashing back down to earth The nursing staff did all they could I could see you fighting for life Their intervention was no good My heart’s been cut out with a knife I held you close for many hours Never wanting to let you go Your tiny crib’s strewn with flowers My heart’s heavy with grief and woe The empty feeling in my heart I asked God why you had to die Sweet child we should not be apart But now you reside in the sky I placed your coffin by your dad He died weeks before you were born Bereft with grief I feel so sad I have two angels now to mourn Contest Five Rhyming Stanza’s only Sponsored by Broken Wings Quatrain form used - 8 syllables per line Checked with how many Syllables 08~22~16

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Sara Kendrick

Date: 8/8/2021 6:52:00 AM

Whoa~~ A very emotive and expressive work. I hope not your life but based on someone or another person you knew. I enjoyed reading in a sad kind of way. Congrats on this winner. Sara

Sam Kauffman

Date: 8/6/2021 10:38:00 AM

Heart wrenching tragedy Jan so well expressed. Congratulations for another first place with for this poem. Hugs!

Christuraj Alex

Date: 8/6/2021 7:06:00 AM

Superb Quatrain. Congratulations on your win!

Jesse Rowe

Date: 8/30/2016 11:46:00 AM

So much heartbreak expressed here. Beautifully expressed.

Jan Allison
Date: 8/31/2016 9:28:00 AM

Thanks Jesse:-) hugs Jan xx

Constance La France

Date: 8/29/2016 4:24:00 PM

Jan, congratulations on your win in my contest, with this heartbreaking poem (it could be my story, perhaps that is why it touched me so much) and I love the quote image that accompanies your poem too ~

Jan Allison
Date: 8/31/2016 9:29:00 AM

Thanks Constance for a top placement - I found the quote after I wrote the poem I think it is very apt:-( hugs Jan xx

Sara Chansarkar

Date: 8/29/2016 2:53:00 PM

Breaks my heart to pieces,congrats Jan!

Jan Allison
Date: 8/31/2016 9:29:00 AM

Thanks Sara it is an emotive poem:-( hugs Jan xx

Agnes Krampe

Date: 8/29/2016 12:37:00 PM

Congrats on your win, Jan.

Jan Allison
Date: 8/29/2016 1:45:00 PM

Thanks so much Agnes:-) hugs jan xx

Alexis Y.

Date: 8/29/2016 10:40:00 AM

Hi Jan, I knew this sad write would place high. Congratulations on your 1st place win. It was well deserved: -) Alexis

Jan Allison
Date: 8/29/2016 1:44:00 PM

Thanks so much Alexis:-) hugs jan xx

Sunita U.D Palawon

Date: 8/29/2016 9:56:00 AM

This is a heart wrenching...as a mother I feel my heart heavy...Well composed lines Ian. Congrats. Sunita

Jan Allison
Date: 8/29/2016 1:44:00 PM

Thanks so much Sunita:-) hugs Jan xx

Eve Roper

Date: 8/29/2016 9:27:00 AM

Jan, very good poem heartfelt, congratulations on your win Hugs Eve

Jan Allison
Date: 8/29/2016 9:39:00 AM

Thanks so much Eve:-) hugs Jan xx

Joanna Daniel

Date: 8/26/2016 1:47:00 AM

Just what Constance is looking for, Well done, Jan:)

Jan Allison
Date: 8/26/2016 6:22:00 PM

Thanks so much Jo:-) hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y.

Date: 8/23/2016 10:55:00 AM

Hi Jan, This is such a sad write. I know some women who lost a child and call them strong. I couldn't even imagine losing my babies. I think I would literally die. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. A Big seven: ')Alexis

Jan Allison
Date: 8/23/2016 12:07:00 PM

I can't imagine the pain and heartache either Alexis - I hope you are feeling better now:-( hugs Jan xx

John Hamilton

Date: 8/23/2016 9:38:00 AM

No grief worse than the loss of a child, really pulled at the heartstrings with this one Jan! I love these writes of yours you are so good at expressing sorrow, I know Constance will love this one!

Jan Allison
Date: 8/23/2016 9:47:00 AM

Thanks John - I have learned so much since starting writing just over 2 1/2 years ago:-) I know Constance likes deep sad poems so I am hoping I have done a good enough job with this poem:-) hugs Jan xx

Laura Leiser

Date: 8/22/2016 4:46:00 PM

Sad and well artistes, Jan. We have friends who just lost their baby granddaughter (from their son and wife) and it was s real heart break...but they know she is now with the Lord Jesus.

Jan Allison
Date: 8/22/2016 4:50:00 PM

Oh Laura thats so sad ... I can't imagine going through the birth and losing the baby - it happened to someone I know when i was 17 and she never ever got over the trauma of her stillborn baby:-( hugs Jan xx

Agnes Krampe

Date: 8/22/2016 4:25:00 PM

Beautiful and so sad. Good luck with the contest.

Jan Allison
Date: 8/22/2016 4:32:00 PM

Thanks Agnes - such a sad scenario - thankfully its a fictional write for me:-) hugs Jan xx

Nette Onclaud

Date: 8/22/2016 3:15:00 PM

i am pained by this somber but beautiful write, jan... my, you did well!..huggs

Jan Allison
Date: 8/22/2016 3:21:00 PM

Thanks Nette - I hope Constance likes it :-) hugs Jan xx