Jan Allison Poet Limerick

Notes About The Poem

Cutie Patootie Bawdy Limerick

Pat swung from a chandelier
Fell off and hurt her cute rear
She gave it a rub
And soaked in the tub
Next time she’ll stay off the beer!

Pat copied the birds and the bees
And had carpet burns on her knees
She saw her GP
He said ‘Oh dear me’ -
Next time settle for a quick squeeze

But Pat said I’m always so randy
And so is my boyfriend called Sandy
If he can’t have a lay
At least three times a day
He’ll leave me for that old moo Mandy

'for Pat' with my love xx

05~03~17

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Joseph Soper May 16, 2017 at 10:13 PM Very funny Jan... Loved it...

Jack Horne May 12, 2017 at 4:12 PM LOL, had a good chuckle here too

Robert Johnson May 7, 2017 at 10:20 PM I love that term, old moo. :) Great job doing a multi stanza limy. Jan Allison May 9, 2017 at 1:38 PM Old moo was apt I originally has slapper but changed it lol :-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich May 5, 2017 at 8:27 PM Keep at it, Jan. I especially liked that last one. The old moo. haha!! Hope to hear from you soon. Sorry I've been so busy these days. CAn't even keep up and going off again right now. Later, Gator! Jan Allison May 9, 2017 at 1:39 PM I had fun here and 'pat' was delighted I've posted them I wrote another string of limericks called hear my voice I may post them one day:-) hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y. May 5, 2017 at 4:30 AM Lol! Jan, All three limericks were hilarious. You are a "master" at writing limericks and poop! I agree with Rick it's too bad you can't enter your on contest. This would be a winner for sure. :-) Alexis Jan Allison May 9, 2017 at 1:41 PM Aww thanks Alexis all I do is try to make folks smile:-) hugs Jan xx

Roy Pett May 5, 2017 at 4:25 AM Brilliant Jan, if I need cheering up I know I can turn to your page and all my woes disappear thank you and your friend Pat very much, this will make me smile all day. :)) Jan Allison May 9, 2017 at 1:37 PM Cheers Roy I love to write humour but can turn my hand to the odd more serious poem:-) hugs Jan xx

Leo Larry Amadore May 4, 2017 at 2:36 PM Giggles and smiles, Jan...very entertaining. Jan Allison May 4, 2017 at 4:51 PM Thanks Leo:-) hugs Jan xx

John Michaels May 4, 2017 at 2:30 PM Jan, this is absolutely hilarious!! I'd go so far as to say it's one of your finest!! Going straight on my favourites so I can find it quickly when I need a belly laugh!! Shame I can't give it an "8"!! Best regards, John! Jan Allison May 4, 2017 at 4:51 PM aww thanks John :-) your comment has made my day:-) Not everyone appreciates my style or humour I try to make folks smile and forget their worries for a while:-) hugs Jan xx

Demetrios Trifiatis May 4, 2017 at 5:59 AM Absolutely marvelously funny and so witty! A 7 dear, Jan! Hugs xx Jan Allison May 4, 2017 at 6:08 AM Thanks Demetrios:-) hugs Jan xx

Arthur Vaso May 3, 2017 at 10:51 PM Hilarious, especially the last line! Jan Allison May 4, 2017 at 3:50 AM LOL I did originally use slapper for that line lol:-) Hugs Jan xx

Tim Smith May 3, 2017 at 6:12 PM What a hoot Jan Jan Allison May 3, 2017 at 6:17 PM It's really made me smile Tim I write a poem with no mention of the P word and I get 2 comments about the lack of poop lol:-) hugs jan xx

Eye Truth-Teller May 3, 2017 at 2:56 PM haha poet Jan Allison May 3, 2017 at 3:43 PM Thanks you:-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen May 3, 2017 at 2:55 PM - Ha ha ha, this is just a funny "gimmick"   ... she's serious, crazy and funny :))) - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Jan Allison May 3, 2017 at 3:42 PM 'Pat' is an on line friend and has a wicked sense of humour - she said something for fun and i wrote these poems for fun:-) hugs Jan xx

Charlie Smith May 3, 2017 at 2:40 PM "Where's The Poop"? Funny all the same, thanks Jan, you never fail to lighten the day... Jan Allison May 3, 2017 at 3:40 PM I can manage to write the odd poem not mentioning the P word lol:-) hugs jan xx

Chris Green May 3, 2017 at 1:10 PM Ha ha ha Jan. Definitely bawdy and crazy funny. You are so good at these and wait...not one poop mention in the entire poem. I am so proud of you. :) Jan Allison May 3, 2017 at 3:38 PM ha ha ha Chris I am sure folks think I sit on the loo all day and write my poop and surprisingly I CAN write the odd serious poem and shock horror one that doesn't mention poop. I wear my rhinestone crown from Flo and sit on the throne lol:-) hugs Jan xx

White Wolf May 3, 2017 at 12:13 PM Haha, pity you can't enter your own contest! Loved all three, Jan! Jan Allison May 3, 2017 at 12:22 PM I wrote this for an on-line friend called 'pat' and have her permission to post them - she is a great sport:-) hugs Jan xx