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Cutie Patootie Bawdy Limerick

Pat swung from a chandelier
Fell off and hurt her cute rear
She gave it a rub
And soaked in the tub
Next time she’ll stay off the beer!

Pat copied the birds and the bees
And had carpet burns on her knees
She saw her GP
He said ‘Oh dear me’ -
Next time settle for a quick squeeze

But Pat said I’m always so randy
And so is my boyfriend called Sandy
If he can’t have a lay
At least three times a day
He’ll leave me for that old moo Mandy

'for Pat' with my love xx

05~03~17

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Joseph Soper Date: 5/16/2017 10:13:00 PM Very funny Jan... Loved it... Login to Reply

Jack Horne Date: 5/12/2017 4:12:00 PM LOL, had a good chuckle here too Login to Reply

Robert Johnson Date: 5/7/2017 10:20:00 PM I love that term, old moo. :) Great job doing a multi stanza limy. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/9/2017 1:38:00 PM Old moo was apt I originally has slapper but changed it lol :-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich Date: 5/5/2017 8:27:00 PM Keep at it, Jan. I especially liked that last one. The old moo. haha!! Hope to hear from you soon. Sorry I've been so busy these days. CAn't even keep up and going off again right now. Later, Gator! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/9/2017 1:39:00 PM I had fun here and 'pat' was delighted I've posted them I wrote another string of limericks called hear my voice I may post them one day:-) hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y. Date: 5/5/2017 4:30:00 AM Lol! Jan, All three limericks were hilarious. You are a "master" at writing limericks and poop! I agree with Rick it's too bad you can't enter your on contest. This would be a winner for sure. :-) Alexis Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/9/2017 1:41:00 PM Aww thanks Alexis all I do is try to make folks smile:-) hugs Jan xx

Roy Pett Date: 5/5/2017 4:25:00 AM Brilliant Jan, if I need cheering up I know I can turn to your page and all my woes disappear thank you and your friend Pat very much, this will make me smile all day. :)) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/9/2017 1:37:00 PM Cheers Roy I love to write humour but can turn my hand to the odd more serious poem:-) hugs Jan xx

Leo Larry Amadore Date: 5/4/2017 2:36:00 PM Giggles and smiles, Jan...very entertaining. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/4/2017 4:51:00 PM Thanks Leo:-) hugs Jan xx

John Michaels Date: 5/4/2017 2:30:00 PM Jan, this is absolutely hilarious!! I'd go so far as to say it's one of your finest!! Going straight on my favourites so I can find it quickly when I need a belly laugh!! Shame I can't give it an "8"!! Best regards, John! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/4/2017 4:51:00 PM aww thanks John :-) your comment has made my day:-) Not everyone appreciates my style or humour I try to make folks smile and forget their worries for a while:-) hugs Jan xx

Demetrios Trifiatis Date: 5/4/2017 5:59:00 AM Absolutely marvelously funny and so witty! A 7 dear, Jan! Hugs xx Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/4/2017 6:08:00 AM Thanks Demetrios:-) hugs Jan xx

Arthur Vaso Date: 5/3/2017 10:51:00 PM Hilarious, especially the last line! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/4/2017 3:50:00 AM LOL I did originally use slapper for that line lol:-) Hugs Jan xx

Tim Smith Date: 5/3/2017 6:12:00 PM What a hoot Jan Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/3/2017 6:17:00 PM It's really made me smile Tim I write a poem with no mention of the P word and I get 2 comments about the lack of poop lol:-) hugs jan xx

Eye Truth-Teller Date: 5/3/2017 2:56:00 PM haha poet Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/3/2017 3:43:00 PM Thanks you:-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen Date: 5/3/2017 2:55:00 PM - Ha ha ha, this is just a funny "gimmick"   ... she's serious, crazy and funny :))) - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/3/2017 3:42:00 PM 'Pat' is an on line friend and has a wicked sense of humour - she said something for fun and i wrote these poems for fun:-) hugs Jan xx

Charlie Smith Date: 5/3/2017 2:40:00 PM "Where's The Poop"? Funny all the same, thanks Jan, you never fail to lighten the day... Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/3/2017 3:40:00 PM I can manage to write the odd poem not mentioning the P word lol:-) hugs jan xx

Chris Green Date: 5/3/2017 1:10:00 PM Ha ha ha Jan. Definitely bawdy and crazy funny. You are so good at these and wait...not one poop mention in the entire poem. I am so proud of you. :) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/3/2017 3:38:00 PM ha ha ha Chris I am sure folks think I sit on the loo all day and write my poop and surprisingly I CAN write the odd serious poem and shock horror one that doesn't mention poop. I wear my rhinestone crown from Flo and sit on the throne lol:-) hugs Jan xx

White Wolf Date: 5/3/2017 12:13:00 PM Haha, pity you can't enter your own contest! Loved all three, Jan! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/3/2017 12:22:00 PM I wrote this for an on-line friend called 'pat' and have her permission to post them - she is a great sport:-) hugs Jan xx