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Criminals-Part 2 Fiction

The expressways not far from the warehouse my workers and I rented a small ryder for four days and decided to park along a busy congested street They'll never see the product again; we designed with bogus logo's and stuck it on an avenue right smack in the ghetto. The guard is down, we dragged him to secure place in the building, hes knocked out cold but he'll live rob stuck a half empty bottle of cognac in his hand and threw the throw back cap over his closed eyes. To be continued.....

Copyright © | Year Posted 2010




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Date: 8/19/2010 9:03:00 PM
Still reading. Joyce
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Date: 7/16/2010 10:30:00 AM
Mr. Rich, this is a very good Criminalism, i want to feed from more... Heading on to next one...
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Date: 7/16/2010 7:22:00 AM
look out martin scorcese here comes the mastermind with the criminal crazy.forget tarantino, you're the don corlion with the poetry pimp flow
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Date: 7/15/2010 9:59:00 PM
way to put your mind in this very cool, .. continuing lol, =(^.^)=Royal
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Date: 7/13/2010 7:12:00 PM
Nice write. really enjoying your pieces. On to part 3
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Date: 7/13/2010 3:27:00 PM
It's like a scene from "The Streets of San Francisco" amongst other cop shows. Nicely written Diiamond >> James
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Date: 7/13/2010 2:53:00 PM
like i am watching one of my favorite shows-law and order. you have a great imagination my dear.
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Date: 7/13/2010 10:43:00 AM
On to number three
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Date: 7/12/2010 5:44:00 PM
Diiamond they're short enough to group all together and they are narrative form.
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Date: 7/12/2010 2:42:00 PM
Diiamond, love your story. A few typos. Check line 2 "rented". Check line 3 - I think you mean "congested". Check line 8, I think it is spelled, "cognac". You are writing a nice, interesting tale, I hope you don't mind the minor suggestions. Joe
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Date: 7/12/2010 12:18:00 PM
Well this is definately very intense, like a robbery, in the night, holds good attention.
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Date: 7/12/2010 11:44:00 AM
Sounds like a Mafia hit..haha.. I grew up around mobsters all my life so this reminds me of those fascinating stories... whodunits.. great job Diamond Rich.. with luv..
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Date: 7/12/2010 11:21:00 AM
Oh, this is getting exciting. Another great part to this story. Keep it up. I'm on to part 3 and i'm sure i wont be disappointed. Love Destiny
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Date: 7/11/2010 11:48:00 PM
mysterious, as if this is a story in disguise. keep writing more of it, no one can go wrong with a curious story. ~Always&Forever Lynette
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Date: 7/10/2010 2:30:00 PM
Hello Diamond Rich, Thank you for your comments on my Poem much appreciated. I like your Poem - Reminds me of a Film Noir American Classic Movie where the main actor does a running commentary Look forward to Part 3 Cheers
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Date: 7/10/2010 9:48:00 AM
great imagery and great play on words here cannot wait for 3rd one keep em coming enjoying the read also thanks for your kind comments on my stuff too
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Date: 7/9/2010 7:49:00 PM
Definitely interesting beginning,great flow and imagery,,and welcome to the soup,,and Thank You for visiting my words and leaving yours behind as well,,,Blessings..Cecil
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Date: 7/7/2010 8:49:00 AM
adventurous story
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Date: 7/6/2010 8:51:00 AM
I would like to welcome you to PoetrySoup Diiamond. Wishing you the best in your writing endeavors. If you have questions please feel free to ask anyone here. We are all willing to help and if we don't know the answer we will find someone who does. Love, Carol
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Date: 7/6/2010 5:43:00 AM
Good use of imagery in this write, Diiamond! Don't mind a few errors, but a spell check will help...Keep your pen flowing...Gert
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Date: 7/6/2010 1:07:00 AM
Please double check your spellings, it ruins the flow of the piece :- rented, he's, coniac is spelt cognac, don't know where you are from but here it's conGested with a G. - a little more polish required, but interestin work
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Date: 7/6/2010 12:13:00 AM
im interested in your little experiment?
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Date: 7/5/2010 5:49:00 PM
I was right about this poem. I knew would be able to create the same vibe as the first one. GREAT POEM!!!!!!
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Date: 7/5/2010 3:34:00 PM
This poem has energy. Good use of imagery to paint the picture. You may want to run a spell check on this one as I noticed a few errors. Thank you for sharing this poem with us and for your kind comment. Karen
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Date: 7/5/2010 2:44:00 PM
This is intriguing, can't wait for more! Thanks for sharing!
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Book: Shattered Sighs