Criminals-Part 2 Fiction

The expressways not far from the warehouse
my workers and I rented a small ryder for
four days and decided to park along a busy congested street
They'll never see the product again; we designed with 
bogus logo's and stuck it on an avenue right smack in the ghetto.
The guard is down, we dragged him to secure place in the
building, hes knocked out cold but he'll live
rob stuck a half empty bottle of cognac in his hand and
threw the throw back cap over his closed eyes. To be continued.....

Copyright © | Year Posted 2010



Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 8/19/2010 9:03:00 PM
Still reading. Joyce
Login to Reply
Date: 7/16/2010 10:30:00 AM
Mr. Rich, this is a very good Criminalism, i want to feed from more... Heading on to next one...
Login to Reply
Date: 7/16/2010 7:22:00 AM
look out martin scorcese here comes the mastermind with the criminal crazy.forget tarantino, you're the don corlion with the poetry pimp flow
Login to Reply
Date: 7/15/2010 9:59:00 PM
way to put your mind in this very cool, .. continuing lol, =(^.^)=Royal
Login to Reply
Date: 7/13/2010 7:12:00 PM
Nice write. really enjoying your pieces. On to part 3
Login to Reply
Date: 7/13/2010 3:27:00 PM
It's like a scene from "The Streets of San Francisco" amongst other cop shows. Nicely written Diiamond >> James
Login to Reply
Date: 7/13/2010 2:53:00 PM
like i am watching one of my favorite shows-law and order. you have a great imagination my dear.
Login to Reply
Date: 7/13/2010 10:43:00 AM
On to number three
Login to Reply
Date: 7/12/2010 5:44:00 PM
Diiamond they're short enough to group all together and they are narrative form.
Login to Reply
Date: 7/12/2010 2:42:00 PM
Diiamond, love your story. A few typos. Check line 2 "rented". Check line 3 - I think you mean "congested". Check line 8, I think it is spelled, "cognac". You are writing a nice, interesting tale, I hope you don't mind the minor suggestions. Joe
Login to Reply
Date: 7/12/2010 12:18:00 PM
Well this is definately very intense, like a robbery, in the night, holds good attention.
Login to Reply
Date: 7/12/2010 11:44:00 AM
Sounds like a Mafia hit..haha.. I grew up around mobsters all my life so this reminds me of those fascinating stories... whodunits.. great job Diamond Rich.. with luv..
Login to Reply
Date: 7/12/2010 11:21:00 AM
Oh, this is getting exciting. Another great part to this story. Keep it up. I'm on to part 3 and i'm sure i wont be disappointed. Love Destiny
Login to Reply
Date: 7/11/2010 11:48:00 PM
mysterious, as if this is a story in disguise. keep writing more of it, no one can go wrong with a curious story. ~Always&Forever Lynette
Login to Reply
Date: 7/10/2010 2:30:00 PM
Hello Diamond Rich, Thank you for your comments on my Poem much appreciated. I like your Poem - Reminds me of a Film Noir American Classic Movie where the main actor does a running commentary Look forward to Part 3 Cheers
Login to Reply
Date: 7/10/2010 9:48:00 AM
great imagery and great play on words here cannot wait for 3rd one keep em coming enjoying the read also thanks for your kind comments on my stuff too
Login to Reply
Date: 7/9/2010 7:49:00 PM
Definitely interesting beginning,great flow and imagery,,and welcome to the soup,,and Thank You for visiting my words and leaving yours behind as well,,,Blessings..Cecil
Login to Reply
Date: 7/7/2010 8:49:00 AM
adventurous story
Login to Reply
Date: 7/6/2010 8:51:00 AM
I would like to welcome you to PoetrySoup Diiamond. Wishing you the best in your writing endeavors. If you have questions please feel free to ask anyone here. We are all willing to help and if we don't know the answer we will find someone who does. Love, Carol
Login to Reply
Date: 7/6/2010 5:43:00 AM
Good use of imagery in this write, Diiamond! Don't mind a few errors, but a spell check will help...Keep your pen flowing...Gert
Login to Reply
Date: 7/6/2010 1:07:00 AM
Please double check your spellings, it ruins the flow of the piece :- rented, he's, coniac is spelt cognac, don't know where you are from but here it's conGested with a G. - a little more polish required, but interestin work
Login to Reply
Date: 7/6/2010 12:13:00 AM
im interested in your little experiment?
Login to Reply
Date: 7/5/2010 5:49:00 PM
I was right about this poem. I knew would be able to create the same vibe as the first one. GREAT POEM!!!!!!
Login to Reply
Date: 7/5/2010 3:34:00 PM
This poem has energy. Good use of imagery to paint the picture. You may want to run a spell check on this one as I noticed a few errors. Thank you for sharing this poem with us and for your kind comment. Karen
Login to Reply
Date: 7/5/2010 2:44:00 PM
This is intriguing, can't wait for more! Thanks for sharing!
Login to Reply
Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Reflection on the Important Things

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
Store
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter
Hide Ad