Constructor of my Own Chaos

This poem was written alongside the painting Pentimento by Sally Storch. I absorbed the image, beyond the capture - it soaked into my throat saturated, became the ever-after eyes are unseeing but for zoetrope; all voices state an overlay: "what a lovely day" "what a lovely day" as I lose my grip on hope sorry to be negative - I didn't want this role I'll pocket it, that's my goal - to control - to hold still to freeze the frame self-distraction from the weight of blame I could engulf my senses - roses lie close just a tilt of my head I'd be no longer morose let me turn, observe, fully immerse may I pick one, tear it up, roll in the petals invite a curse let the thorns cut through, make me bleed as I take this chain from my neck, be freed in this image, I am trapped do you not see it yet? I see through this lens: four corners, no exit, no end an uncrossable border I just need to escape assemble my own order see clearly the scene with a world around walk on, leave behind the ugly foreground the backdrop blurred but waits to be found throw you the camera, shout "catch!" defiantly leave images to crop, perspective to see all that matters is it's not in my head if I'm unsteady, I'll work with it - I'm still, not dead Hell: I'll cartwheel out and free check out my core strength refraction: you dictate no longer to me