Anxiety Feels Like Hands Round Your Neck

I've just confessed out loud In the safety of a safe space, safely (Just so that's clear) I am wracked with guilt and shame (Sorry, buzzkill - plus I'm not telling why, so no gossip) But the reality is some things tear you limb from limb whilst on the outside you look perfectly fine I can't deal with this inner critic, if I ever unleashed what I'm like to myself on anyone else they'd be destroyed - maybe that makes me resilient (but always under attack) This is chaos speaking, chaos trapped in calm I'm joy trapped in fear I'm beauty trapped in self loathing Pretty busy, my heart thinks I'm always doing aerobics... But I just need to separate it all out... I always thought I wanted rid of the weirdo, but that's actually the good bit Let's empty out this box of tricks and send some off to... I'm worrying about imaginary landfill now... That's a worry... As is worrying about worrying because I can't now think of an eco friendly place to dump the worry. Let's go carbon neutral - burn it and plant a tree. Done. In theory. The reality has more to it, the imaginary tree planting has a ton of planning... I'm an overthinker - just so you know. It's frustrating because I'm good at my job, my friends like me and I know how to have fun but I'm there fretting and worrying behind the scenes. Anyway - I'm addressing getting it off my chest. The interesting stuff you won't hear about. Will it be a whirlwind of a Wednesday night for the next few weeks... Maybe. Just deleted a paragraph - I don't have time to consider whether is sensible to say. Shall I stick a senyru on the end? Go on then... I'm at the centre the outer and the inner I need to be heard