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And Then It Stopped - Emotive Write

I’ll never forget Valentine’s Day 2014 … You’d spent months saving for a diamond ring and were going to propose to your lovely girlfriend Jane. You kissed me on the cheek as you headed for the door, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so happy I poured myself a glass of red wine then settled down in front of the television I must have drifted off to sleep … Next thing I remember was a frantic knocking at my door A young policeman stood on the doorstep He told me you’d been knocked down by a stolen car - I needed to get to the hospital quickly When I arrived you were in intensive care You’d suffered horrendous head injuries … The doctors said there was nothing more they could do It was only the machine that was keeping you alive I kissed you on your cheek and held your hand Beep Beep Beep Beep … and then it stopped … _______________________________________________________ Fiction write Submitted to sad free verse in 2017 contest Sponsored by Laura Loo 07-06-17

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Agnes Krampe

Date: 8/1/2017 4:32:00 PM

Congrats on your placement, Jan. Such a sad story, glad it is fictional for you.

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 8/1/2017 4:12:00 PM

Very moving Jan. Congratulations on your fifth placement! : )

Eve Roper

Date: 8/1/2017 3:18:00 PM

Heartfelt write, Jan, well done, congratulations you on your win ~*

Janis Thompson

Date: 8/1/2017 2:48:00 PM

I am very glad this is fiction. Very emotive write.

Olusegun Arowolo

Date: 8/1/2017 2:13:00 PM

Wonderful piece, very touching.... Congrats on your well deserved win....

Dale Gregory Cozart

Date: 8/1/2017 1:57:00 PM

Congrats, Jan!

Joanna Daniel

Date: 7/10/2017 8:11:00 AM

Such a touching poem, Jan:)

Jan Allison
Date: 7/28/2017 8:52:00 AM

Thanks Jo:-) hugs jan xx

M. L. Kiser

Date: 7/7/2017 8:09:00 PM

You've done it well; best of luck with the contest.

Jan Allison
Date: 7/8/2017 10:39:00 PM

Thanks ML:-) hugs Jan xx

Joseph May

Date: 7/7/2017 2:56:00 PM

Such emotion and sadness that pours from this write Jan...Very nicely penned...best wishes

Jan Allison
Date: 7/7/2017 3:01:00 PM

I wrote this very quickly yesterday and grabbed the last spot in the contest I am always amazed my muse can go from humourous to sad so quickly:-) hugs Jan xx

Heidi Sands

Date: 7/7/2017 10:50:00 AM

OMG Jan. Another poem that has brought me good bumps. Very well done! I hope it places well. This really reached me. :)

Jan Allison
Date: 7/7/2017 10:52:00 AM

Thanks Heidi its amazing to think I wrote 2 limericks when I walked to mums care home and came back and wrote this as I saw there was one space left in the contest:-) hugs Jan xx

Sharon Gulley

Date: 7/7/2017 9:15:00 AM

Such a sad but moving write Jan. Good luck in the contest.

Jan Allison
Date: 7/7/2017 10:45:00 AM

Thanks Sharon its amazing I could write this and the dog limerick within an hour of eachother:-) hugs Jan xx

Eileen Manassian

Date: 7/7/2017 4:47:00 AM

OH....how....horrific. I can't even begin to imagine a parent's pain, Jan. Good luck in the contest. Soupmail dear.

Jan Allison
Date: 7/7/2017 7:28:00 AM

I usually try and write humour but yesterday wrote 2 limericks and then this for the contest... i never know where my muse will take me and that is quite exciting :-) hugs Jan xx

Ilene Bauer

Date: 7/6/2017 7:00:00 PM

i love the way you've tied the theme into your ending, jan. well done!

Jan Allison
Date: 7/6/2017 7:06:00 PM

Thanks Ilene, so lovely to have you back on soup I've loved the wonderful poems about your holiday ... if you ever make your way across the pond again let me know I would have loved to fly over to Ireland to meet up its only abut 30 mins on the plane!:-) I hope you could see me waving lol:-) hugs jan xx

Dale Gregory Cozart

Date: 7/6/2017 4:18:00 PM

How tragic! It's a very compelling write! Good Job. Now I'm so sad I need a Limerick. It's a very compelling write

Jan Allison
Date: 7/6/2017 4:19:00 PM

Cheers Dale - go back and read the collab if you need a giggle. i have written 2 more limericks today - I never know what my muse will come up with and wrote this quickly and grabbed the last spot in the contest:-) hugs jan xx

Tim Smith

Date: 7/6/2017 4:06:00 PM

What a sad sad situation Jan

Jan Allison
Date: 7/6/2017 4:10:00 PM

Thankfully its fiction for me Tim but I know these tragedies occur all too often:-( hugs Jan xx

Lin Lane

Date: 7/6/2017 3:53:00 PM

You can write all the silly limericks you choose, but when you get serious...you really get serious. Hugs for this one, Jan.

Jan Allison
Date: 7/6/2017 4:09:00 PM

Thanks Lin, I never know what my muse will come up with next - if you see my reply to Chris I go from one extreme to the other:-) hugs Jan xx

Chris Green

Date: 7/6/2017 3:44:00 PM

Just what I needed this afternoon, to have my heart ripped out of my chest. Damn Jan, this was so sad and so heartbreaking. This one will touch many...

Jan Allison
Date: 7/6/2017 3:52:00 PM

I'm sorry Chris but my muse seems to go from one extreme to another :-(I thought of two limericks on my way to visit mum in her care home and had to grab some paper as soon as I walked into her room. When I got back I saw there was one space left in the contest so I managed to get this written very quickly. Its a heartbreaking scenario but sadly these things do happen:-( hugs Jan xx