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A cock and bull tale - Risque Rhyme

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I posted a poem yesterday about why I no longer post my funny poems on soup and I had a lovely e mail this morning asking me to post a witty poem as they were missing my humour so much and needed a smile - so it would be ungracious to refuse such a request - but it is a one off !. This is a limerick I wrote today and will be in the next book 'Toilet humour and Risque rhymes' 07/20/24

New farmer whose first name is Guy Confesses he's using AI His cows are sans bulls But for lassies he pulls He uses his todger - AYE AYE!

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John Read

Date: 10/6/2024 7:06:00 AM

Although he was s little shy, he'd give anything a try, he tempted his lodger, with his todger, but sadly she wouldn't comply.

Jan Allison
Date: 10/6/2024 8:49:00 AM

ha ha ha love it thanks John, I love toilet humour, risque rhymes, bawdy limericks - gee life is too short not to have a bit of fun and bring a smile to someone's face! hugs Jan xx

Karen Jones

Date: 8/19/2024 12:19:00 AM

Hahaha aw you are a dear to not deny such a request!

Jan Allison
Date: 10/6/2024 8:48:00 AM

Since I joined soup I've been bullied and belittled about my poetry style in fact one poet wanted me to have a poetic duel as he didnt like the fact my silly poems were more popular than his superior sonnets! needless to say I am still here he isnt! hugs jan xx

James Peranteau

Date: 7/30/2024 6:03:00 AM

(((((hahaha)))))...my precious poet, on the farm, cock don't take no bull...but I hear there'z a rumor around that; you'll find more cock 'round sheep ,) much love

Jan Allison
Date: 10/6/2024 8:46:00 AM

thanks James:-) hugs jan xx

John Beam

Date: 7/27/2024 5:57:00 AM

Hey, it has been a while. The double entendre Free Willy!

Jan Allison
Date: 7/27/2024 5:59:00 AM

ha ha ha John - i love that comment and its great to see you again. i will drop right on by ! this one will go in my second humourous poem book - titled 'toilet humour and risque rhymes' hugs jan xx

Paul Callus

Date: 7/25/2024 12:52:00 PM

Can't stop laughing, Jan!! Bawdy, indeed, but who cares when we can have tears running down our cheeks for a jolly good reason :) Your humour will never run dry!! Hugs // paul

Jan Allison
Date: 7/25/2024 2:39:00 PM

Aww thanks Paul, today I wrote 4 more naughty ones for book #2. so glad my silly poem raised a smile - no one knows what is going on in our lives, I try and bring a little bit of lighthearted wit to the soup, its sure is rancid at times:-( hugs Jan xx

Daniel Caplin

Date: 7/24/2024 12:33:00 AM

What a wonderful Limerick Jan , certainly up there with the best of them, you certainly have a very fertile imagination, I'm looking forward to your new publication in the not to distant future, will keep an eye out for updates. Danny x

Jan Allison
Date: 7/25/2024 2:40:00 PM

I worry where it comes from Daniel but after recent poems /blogs about the use of AI I thought I would give a new slant to the meaning lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Duke Beaufort

Date: 7/23/2024 4:48:00 PM

Jan, one hopes the farmers would behave themselves! They have been the butt of jokes for a long time...but there might be a reason why. It would be hard to have a frank discussion about this, but sure would be interesting! I'm smiling again. TY!! Good luck on your next publication!! I just read the title....really quite insightful. It complements the work completely!

Jan Allison
Date: 7/25/2024 2:41:00 PM

Thanks for supporting me in my poetic endeavors Duke:-) hugs Jan xx

Sam Kauffman

Date: 7/21/2024 8:05:00 PM

Hi Jan! Have missed you. You have a precious gift that of bringing humor and smiles into an often dark world. Thank you for this precious side splitting, knee slapping gift. I need a few giggles today in the worst way. They say humor is the hardest type of poetry to write. Congrats! Sending you blessings and my gratitude for your precious gift. MORE! MORE! High fives! Best wishes for your book!

Jan Allison
Date: 7/25/2024 2:41:00 PM

Thanks Sam, my first book is still selling well especially locally. I hope the next one is successful! hugs jan xx

Victor Buhagiar

Date: 7/21/2024 8:59:00 AM

Quite funny, Jan. Was thinking of you today as we ate out to celebrate my daughter's birthday.

Jan Allison
Date: 7/25/2024 2:43:00 PM

Aww Victor I have so many memories of meeting you in Malta and the time we met Liliane is the most precious of all. I wonder if you ever found the key to the cabinet with her holiday momentoes in? Hugs jan xx

Joseph May

Date: 7/21/2024 7:55:00 AM

Lol, Nice one Jan

Jan Allison
Date: 7/25/2024 2:44:00 PM

Thanks Joseph:-) hugs Jan xx

Jennifer Proxenos

Date: 7/21/2024 4:14:00 AM

So bawdy, such great wit is sure to tit....ilate - hope les miserables don't fry GUY! Love it blessings, Jennifer

Jan Allison
Date: 7/25/2024 2:44:00 PM

Thanks Jennifer:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 7/21/2024 12:43:00 AM

Yep good and bawdy. My lordy! Keep up the great wit, my friend

Jan Allison
Date: 7/25/2024 2:45:00 PM

I wrote 4 more naughty ones today - my favourite of them is is called 'cherry ripe; its very bawdy lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Tom Cunningham

Date: 7/20/2024 9:49:00 PM

What a guy, keeping the lassies happy lol. Keep em coming Jan, Tom

Jan Allison
Date: 7/25/2024 2:45:00 PM

Thanks Tom:-) hugs Jan xx

John Lawless

Date: 7/20/2024 4:46:00 PM

Hey, I was busy in the barn yard, those Heifers are faster than they look....Glad to see ya making us laugh again Jan

Jan Allison
Date: 7/25/2024 2:46:00 PM

ha ha ha - I can truly say your comment was a bit of BS lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Tania Kitchin

Date: 7/20/2024 3:49:00 PM

Jan, haha, funny and bawdy. I agree with Lin, please keep posting your hilarious poems. - hugs.

Jan Allison
Date: 7/25/2024 2:47:00 PM

I wont post any more bawdy ones for the foreseeable future - no point in upsetting the soup guru is it. hugs jan xx

Eileen Manassian

Date: 7/20/2024 3:47:00 PM

Never stop posting what you like. You have fans who love you. Remember a time when I got criticised and bullied for writing sensual content? I'll never forget it... nor those who made me feel miserable because of it. Some were just projecting because they were writing their own sensual material. I'm still here. Still posting. You keep being you! GUY seems quite the guy!!! ;)

Jan Allison
Date: 7/25/2024 2:49:00 PM

Sadly the belittling and bullying with crass comments (often removed) carries on to this day but poets are being encouraged to join a peace campaign - go figure. I miss many poets no longer on the site but admin let it continue to this day:-( hugs jan xx

Lin Lane

Date: 7/20/2024 3:20:00 PM

aye yi yi! I don't even wanna go there. Jan, I think you should never stop posting your risqué humor, despite what anyone says. Case in point... 4 comments here and all from ladies. No objection from the female gender.

Jan Allison
Date: 7/20/2024 3:25:00 PM

True Lin but this will be the only new one I'm posting from the book, I am very appreciative of the comments and the reads without comments:-) hugs jan xx

Ilene Bauer

Date: 7/20/2024 2:34:00 PM

aye aye, indeed, jan! very funny, as usual! so glad you posted this...

Jan Allison
Date: 7/20/2024 3:03:00 PM

I wont be posting any more book poems Ilene but I couldn't turn down a request to make someone smile:-) hugs Jan xx

Chantelle Cooke

Date: 7/20/2024 1:53:00 PM

Jan, your poems are enjoyable with wit and senses. Thank you for I am smiling. Blessings Chantelle

Jan Allison
Date: 7/20/2024 2:15:00 PM

aww thanks Chantelle xx:-) hugs Jan xx

Sara Kendrick

Date: 7/20/2024 1:13:00 PM

Creative work. Way to go. I like that rooster who seems to be ruling over things. Thanks for sharing your talent with us. Sara K

Jan Allison
Date: 7/20/2024 1:20:00 PM

thanks for dropping by sara, my humour isn't to everyone's taste but i had to share this one today:-) hugs Jan xx