A Big Regret

Seeing a wrong and doing very little to right it. . . I’m sure this happens - at least to some of us - from time to time But when the wrong involves a defenseless child and when we may be that child’s only hope we absolutely must step in. when I was a very young adult such an opportunity presented itself to me. I was babysitting for a couple whose children ranged in age from one to five. I think there were three children. My mind is fuzzy on the details, but well do I remember how sometimes, for no apparent reason, the eldest boy would scream and scream and scream. At age five, he could barely utter intelligible speech and he was not yet toilet trained. I think there was a daughter, a middle child. Apparently if she had problems, they were not as pronounced as with her siblings, since I can't recall them. Then there was the baby boy, at least sixteen months old and barely crawling (perhaps he did not crawl at all). He arrived at my house along with a diaper bag and a bottle filled with coffee. Rather taken aback by that, I gave him milk from my fridge. Explanations from his mother, I can’t recall. I was watching two other children as well, and the screaming child made things difficult for us all. After a few days (or perhaps it was a week), my husband and I paid a visit to the parents’ house. We let them know that I no longer could provide them with my service. This all happened in a time when abuse of children was not so openly discussed as it is today. I never saw the children being physically abused. But their stunted development spoke volumes to me. Did I even know of child services at that time? It was so long ago! Why can’t I remember? I could at least have called my church for some advice. Did I even do that? I do not think so. I could never control the screaming boy, but I could have taken that baby and cuddled him, simply cuddled him for a longer time than I imagine he ever got cuddled at home. God only knows where those children ended up today. I feel ashamed that I did not give more love to them all. Reflecting on regrets, I believe my reaction (or inaction) to that sad situation to be one of my biggest ones. Written Oct. 16, 2016 for the Regret Contest of Frank Herrera