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Notes About The Poem

August 5, 2022

~ Fourth Place ~
Premiere Contest: 2022 Poetry Marathon Mile 15
Sponsor: Mark Toney

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The Sun That Parts the Clouds

Through frayed seams a rosy dream bleeds 
needled and re-stitched 
with threads of time and love and hope..

and still — a rosy dream bleeds 
the miscarriage of a promised rose garden 
leaving me bereft but for entwined bands of gold – 
contemplative thorns tempt my angst 
moony moody barbs bristle twigs of tenderness 

sigh— it’s not a laurel wreath worn atop my brow
as I sit alone with a squeamish friend 
my  blue-sky-to-storm-cloud  introspection —
as your distant eyes deserted mine long ago  

Winter's beast laid bare a cerebral graveyard 
lost you wander amongst laid-to-rest neurons 
worn headstones of thoughts and laughter and memories…
you wonder why they hide  — why they died

the crackle of cognitive circuitry quiets 
branched-lightning fades from unwitting clouds
and aged roots of reality perish 

our red rose finished   fallen to pieces 
you-and-me-petals a messy heap like old potpourri —
yet in dark’s hush    love’s scent lingers on our dream pillow 

Oh nostalgic sepals embrace me! 
my heart yearns to return to the bud  
to the fullness of our June bloom — 

instead, I bury desires beneath life’s litterfall; 
amid pollenless stamens and leaves of one-sided reveries
and cage  my fear  my despair  behind purple thistle facing the light

as I free a smile for you, my love — 

you    my sun that still parts the rain-bearing nimbus

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Jennifer Proxenos Date: 12/9/2022 7:16:00 AM Susan my dearest friend, you write beautiful melancholy poems but your eloquent style blends so beautifully with your sad writes. However, you also bring fun out in your writes, humor, adventure, darkness and light, romance and passion, scary poems, just name it and you do it, you embrace every thought devoutly and I embrace our friendship in the same way. May you and your family have a blessed happy Christmas and may all your dreams come true. Hugs and love dear Sis, Jennifer. Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 12/10/2022 9:26:00 AM Dearest Jennifer, my treasured friend, your golden words of kindness shine with the beauty of your heart, a heart full of thoughtful friendship and inspiring poetry. I relish your companionship as we explore poetry realms together in kinship and fellowship. Thank you, my sweet sis, for lighting up my page and my day and for touching me warmly with your rays of sunshine. Warmest wishes for you and your family to have a happy, healthy and blessed Christmas season, may the stars shine especially bright for you always. Hugs and love.. ~Susan <3

Paghunda Zahid Date: 10/21/2022 11:16:00 AM Your words are magical Susan... Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 11/6/2022 8:11:00 AM Dear Paghunda, it is enchanting to receive your visit to my poem. The beauty of your comment touches me deeply. Thank you, my wonderful friend, you are uplifting. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

John Watt Date: 10/13/2022 4:18:00 PM Your sun has once again parted my rain-bearing nimbus... I just can't read those words without a big smile. You navigate deep waters here with the scuba gear of nature's wonders as your oxygen source: rose garden, storm cloud, stamens, thistles, and hope-drenched sunshine. I wish I knew how you do what you do, but I'm kind of glad I don't. I'm content to leave some things in life to wonder at in wide-eyed mystery. What a joy to read you, dear PS-PS ~ PoBro Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 11/6/2022 8:30:00 AM Dear PoBro, it’s a joy to read your comments! Your return visit and eloquent words fill me with gratitude. I am humbled by the honor of receiving your elegant words. I've wondered too, how you do what you do, when composing your soulful poetry. And like you, I am "content to leave some things in life to wonder at in wide-eyed mystery". Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~your PS-PS

Vijay Pandit Date: 10/8/2022 9:26:00 AM Eloquent as always, Susan. Enjoyed this poem brilliantly crafted in elegant style. No wonder you are at the TOP of all contest winners. BIG congrats! Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 10/9/2022 7:59:00 AM Dear Vijay, your valued thoughts and congrats are a thrill to receive. I am honored, my friend. Thank you for spending time sharing in the emotions of my poem with me. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Mark Toney Date: 10/7/2022 10:56:00 AM What Paul Callus said :) Susan, your entire poem is intensely emotive, and your sixth and eighth stanzas are outstanding: "our red rose finished.. fallen to pieces..." and "alas, I bury desires beneath life's litterfall ..." Yet, in the end, we see the embers still burning. A Fav for me. Congratulations on your win on Mile 15 of my 2022 Poetry Marathon Contest. Keep your running shoes on, because Mile 16 has already started. Also, check out my blog post to view your current standing in the Marathon. Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 10/9/2022 7:52:00 AM Dear Mark, I am elated and humbled by your consensus with my dear friend, Paul! You both are so generous with your remarkable and uplifting comments. It's a thrill to receive your expressive feedback and heartwarming congrats. Also, I am truly honored by your fav and for my poem being listed amongst the stunning poems in the winner's circle. Thank you, Mark, for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me and for sharing your kindness! Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Paul Callus Date: 9/8/2022 10:03:00 AM Your awesome poetry is something I take for granted nowadays, Susan! I know what to expect and am never disappointed. You write with natural ease of expression, making the most of technical tools, rich vocabulary, phrasing, metaphor, and much more. ~ Age robs the body of strength, the mind of reasoning and recollection, and yet, the love connection between persons remains. ~ Warm regards & Hugs dear friend. // paul Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 9/9/2022 7:21:00 AM Dear Paul, your thoughts are rich and expressive and such a joy to receive. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me, your amazing comments are held in my deepest appreciation as is your friendship. Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~Susan

Sara Kendrick Date: 8/22/2022 4:43:00 AM Reads like a strong contender for the contest to me. Way to go. I feel like there is a love gone awry or deceased. Thank you for sharing and for visiting my page. Your review added a new dimension. Sara Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 8/23/2022 10:54:00 AM Dear Sara, thank you for your lovely thoughts. Your kind visit is treasured! You’re welcome for my visit to your page. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Lisa Ricci Date: 8/18/2022 3:30:00 AM Hello Susan. This entry is very much poetry and written in poetic style starting with the title. It was an honor turning to your page this morning. Enjoy the day and poetrysoup too. Best of luck with the contest although this entry stands on its own. Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 8/18/2022 6:21:00 AM Dear Lisa, your shining presence lights up the morning. I relish your gracious visit and your heartwarming response to my poem. Thank you for your glowing words. They are held in my truest appreciation. Warmest wishes to you for a wonderful day.. ~Susan

Mystic Rose Rose Date: 8/17/2022 6:04:00 AM wow I was held spell bound by this dear lady. May I have the honor of reading it aloud on line, if you don't mind , I will give you the credit , for each word lol, I just want to put voice to it, Love and light, Vie Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 8/18/2022 6:18:00 AM Dear Vie, I am humbled by your heartwarming response to my poem and honored that you’d like to give it voice. Maybe after the contest is judged we could think about making that happen. I think your wonderfully textured poetic voice would take this poem to beyond the clouds. Thank you, my sweet friend, your words mean the world to me. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Bill Baker Date: 8/16/2022 8:49:00 AM Thank you, Susan, for a deep and moving poem to add to my FAV's. Y our gift of poetry is something to be embellished as I read your eloquent descriptions of a wide range of emotions. A read that carried me on a roll-a-coster of emotions throughout. Thanks for sharing your immense talent with us. A poet friend in Texas, Bill Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 8/17/2022 8:02:00 AM Dear Bill, my poet friend in Texas, I am overjoyed by your comments. I am both honored and humbled by your generous spirit, eloquence and kindness. Your warm friendship and the distinction of your fav are both truly appreciated. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Constance La France Date: 8/14/2022 2:46:00 PM Susan, your poem is so beautifully penned and full of emotions, I love it and best of luck in the contest, blessings ~Constance Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 8/14/2022 6:16:00 PM Dear Constance, I’m thrilled to know you loved my poem. Your beautiful thoughts are truly treasured. Thank you for your gracious visit, your presence here is so very uplifting. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

JCB Brul Date: 8/12/2022 11:05:00 PM A breathtaking gem. I love how you have woven these words that give astounding impact. "blue-sky-to-storm-cloud", laid-to-rest" and" you-and-me-petals"...incredible style! A fave for me.All d best my fabulous friend. ^___^ JCB Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 8/14/2022 6:05:00 PM Dear JCB, it’s so wonderful to see you! I’m thrilled by your response to my poem and truly honored by your fave. Thank you for your gracious visit and for your beautiful comments. Your precious thoughts mean so much to me! Warmest wishes, my wonderful friend.. ~Susan

Ann Peck Date: 8/11/2022 9:18:00 AM This is so beautiful, Susan. The first stanza stole my heart. Then ~ the miscarriage of a promised rose garden and ~my heart yearns to return to the bud ~ You captured emotions we all feel as time pounds away. Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 8/14/2022 5:20:00 PM Dear Ann, I am touched by the heartwarming beauty of your comments. Thank you for your gracious visit, my friend, and yes, time does feel like it pounds away the older we get.. some days more than others. Hopefully time is treating you more kindly than not. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Harry Horsman Date: 8/10/2022 10:00:00 PM Love this, Susan, a wonderful way to weave your words of magic, on the return to childhood, the nostalgia, the walk through the aging headstone, so much to relate to here. Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 8/14/2022 5:11:00 PM Thank you, Harry. Your beautiful comments mean so much to me. I’m so glad to know you loved my poem, my dear friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Michelle Faulkner Date: 8/10/2022 2:07:00 PM This is especially resonant with me now, Susan, for my sister's husband (her name is also Susan!) passed away a little over a week ago, his funeral is actually today, and I am thinking of her and what she must be feeling in your verse, I am drawn to 'you and me petals' and 'one sided reveries' - have no choice but to fave it~ Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 8/14/2022 5:15:00 PM Dear Michelle, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Please accept my condolences to you, your sister, Susan, and family and friends. Thank you for your heartfelt comments and for the honor of your fave. You are appreciated, my wonderful friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Suzanne Delaney Date: 8/8/2022 4:56:00 PM Wonderful emotion filled poem,Susan: The imagery is masterful. Will be a winner for sure. Best, SuZ Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 8/10/2022 8:25:00 AM Dear SuZ, it's wonderful to see you. I treasure your inspiring comments and truly appreciate your gracious visit. Thank you, my friend. I think your poetry is beautiful! Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Juliet Ligon Date: 8/7/2022 5:04:00 PM I love your alliteration and the strong emotions conveyed with the imagery of "needled and stritched," miscarriage, and graveyard, and the hope of the one who is the sun parting through the clouds. Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 8/10/2022 8:20:00 AM Dear Juliet, your gracious visit and wonderful comments are a joy to receive. Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts with me. I'm so happy to know what you enjoyed about my poem. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Joseph May Date: 8/7/2022 4:05:00 PM Susan, A poignant write of forget me not love, that withers the dream and the garden Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 8/10/2022 8:18:00 AM Dear Joseph, I receive your beautiful comments with gratitude. Thank you for your wonderful visit and for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Valsa George Date: 8/6/2022 9:19:00 PM Am swept off by the tide of emotions ! I don't know to what poetic garden you escorted me.... is it of withered roses with petals fallen, lying like potpourri ! What fantastic usages you have used here which no one can conceive of. I am amazed at the use of some of your images like -'worn headstones of thoughts', 'frayed seams of a rosy dream needled and restitched with threads of time', 'the sun that parts the rain bearing nimbus' ! A masterpiece, Susan. I feel blessed to have read this. Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 8/10/2022 8:16:00 AM Dear Valsa, your passionate poet's heart shines in the beauty of your comments. Thank you, my inspiring friend. With gratitude, I treasure your thoughts that embrace my poem and I cherish your eloquence. I am uplifted with elation for the pleasure of your gracious visit, honored by your friendship and humbled by your poetic kindness. Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~Susan

Janice Canerdy Date: 8/6/2022 8:16:00 PM Your vividly descriptive, emotional, expressive poem uses a moving blend of literal and figrative language to describe a fading relationship and the wish for revival. Janice Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 8/10/2022 7:55:00 AM Dear Janice, I'm thrilled by your gracious visit and uplifting comments. Your beautiful thoughts are received with gratitude. Thank you, my friend.. ~Susan

John Watt Date: 8/6/2022 3:26:00 PM Masters class in poetry is now in session - your instructor today is Susan Ashley... today's lesson will focus on alliteration (moony moody barbs bristling twigs of tenderness), nature vocabulary (litterfall/stamens/nimbus), melancholy phrasing (you-and-me-petals a messy heap like old potpourri), inventive gravitas in poetry (the miscarriage of a promised rose garden / worn headstones of thoughts and laughter), and hope-filled endings (you.. my sun that parts the rain-bearing nimbus). Prepare to be amazed... Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 8/10/2022 7:52:00 AM Dear PoBro, I'm the one amazed! Where do I begin to express my appreciation for your wonderful review? Thank you, John, your genuine comments are unique, gracious and enchanting. I am humbled and honored by your friendship, and overwhelmed with gratitude for being able to share in poetic fellowship with you. Your thrilling comment is a John Watt classic!! Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~your PS-PS

Terrell Martin Date: 8/6/2022 1:10:00 PM Wow! This one's so far over my head it leaves me reeling in time and space. But I LOVE-LOVE-LOVE the garden/rose imagery and all the rest so beautifully blended and connected. Bravo, Paula! Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 8/6/2022 10:12:00 PM Dear Terrell, I relish your gracious visit. Thank you for your uplifting comments. I’m so happy to know you enjoyed my poem, especially the garden/rose imagery. Your wonderful thoughts are prized. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Paula Goldsmith Date: 8/5/2022 6:23:00 PM A wonderful/creative write. I love his one. Have a fun/great/blessed weekend writing away..................l Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 8/6/2022 10:47:00 AM Thank you, Paula, for your gracious visit and lovely comments. I'm so please you loved this poem. Have a great weekend, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan