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The Squirrel

The Squirrel #1

Quick little story, when I lived in Los Angeles, Hollywood hills, I always made sure I followed all the civil rules. One of them is not to feed the squirrels, who me? Why I fed the squirrels, it's all my father's fault because when I was a little kid, there was a mouse living in a backyard pipe he would come up occasionally and my dad would give him a piece of cheese; perhaps that was a lesson in kindness. Even if they were vermin. Anyway, We fed the squirrels for a while and suddenly I stopped, everyone knows you can't cut them off like that. They get very angry. I should of tried the wean me off a little at a time one approach. Anyway, I had a friend over an actor no less, who was struggling in Hollywood.

We were best of buds, I do not want to mention the few thousand dollars that he never paid me back, but that is all water under the bridge, but he could of tried. Anyway, we were having a lovely chat in my bedroom all that was missing was a nice cup of tea. By now there were four squirrels that were pissed and one of them approached the window, He squeezed a hand throughout he side of the screen and he was on the inside, our bedroom on top of one of my large speakers; Now my friend is a or was a little on the heavy side and a little spaced out. I think he was daydreaming and I said to him.. Keith! I do not want you to panic, but the squirrel is in the bedroom and he is staring at us. And as if a light bulb when on in his head, he came to reality and saw what was happening, now I said it slowly so he would not panic, and that is exactly what he did, he ran for the hills, and I was afraid of him #1 Him getting a heart attack and if not that he would surely Rolly Polly down the stairs. I closed the door behind me and I myself went downstairs, to regroup, that is what my imaginary military training would tell me to do there is a time to retreat.

Our heart's were beating in our chests, we knew we were out numbered but I was not going down without a fight, now my friend is a pussy; but I'm not, I have bravery in my soul, not the kind to serve in the military, but enough to take on a dam squrill rabbies and all. I went into the room and the bastard took me on' he made faces at me and I don't want to say what he did to my bed. I grabbed a pillow and was able to push him back the enemy was retreating, victory was at hand. I kicked the guy out the same window he came out in. And that is about it. Any lessons learned here? I'm now feeding the pigeons in my back yard it started with a flock of eight and suddenly there was one hundred the word was out. I had to knock it off before I get a one thousand dollar fine, I have it now to a science just sparrows and the eight original pigeons that say hi to the one, I have here hurt in a cage, ok the next time you tune in I will tell you all about how a coyote ate my mother in laws Chijuawa not a pretty end at all.


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  1. Date: 9/16/2018 5:39:00 PM
    Hello Marc, this wasa very funny story you created. I was laughing because I pictured you fighting with the squirrel. Well done.
  1. Date: 3/18/2018 10:00:00 AM
    That was a funny image, you fighting a squirrel. I am able to see your stories with the individual links. I don't know why the other way showed no stories. Anyway, a good fast story this was. Speaking of that horrid coyote incident, my sister's most beloved tiny dog got its neck broken by a pit bull that came up on it while my nephew was walking their little dog. She is so heartbroken! See ya later!