Out of the closets and into the museums, libraries, architectural monuments, concert halls, bookstores, recording studios and film studios of the world. Everything belongs to the inspired and dedicated thief... Words, colors, light, sounds, stone, wood, bronze belong to the living artist. They belong to anyone who can use them. Loot the Louver! A bas l Originality, the sterile and assertive ego that imprisons us as it creates. Vive le sol -- pure, shameless, total. We are not responsible. Steal anything in sight.
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I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a l...
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A little Jewish Grandma is at the Florida coast with her little Jewish Grandson. The grandson is playing on the beach when a big wave comes and washes the kid out to sea. The lifeguards swim out, bring him back to shore, the paramedics work on him for a l
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Though a good motive cannot sanction a bad action, a bad motive will always vitiate a good action. In common and trivial matters we may act without motives, but in momentous ones the most careful deliberation is wisdom.
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Anyone who has gumption knows what it is, and anyone who hasn't can never know what it is. So there is no need of defining it.
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Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
Funny
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Murders are exciting and lift people into a heart-beating awe as religion is supposed to do, after seeing one in the street young couples will go back to bed and make love, people will cross themselves and thank God for the gift of their stuporous lives, old folks will talk to each other over cups of hot water with lemon because murders are enlivened sermons to be analyzed and considered and relished, they speak to the timid of the dangers of rebellion, murders are perceived as momentary descents of God and so provide joy and hope and righteous satisfaction to parishioners, who will talk about them for years afterward to anyone who will listen.
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For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe... Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.
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Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.
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An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
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Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
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A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in.
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God doesn't seek for golden vessels, and does not ask for silver ones, but He must have clean ones.
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The true greatness of a nation is not measured by the vastness of its territory, or by the multitude of its people, or by the profusion of its exports and imports; but by the extent to which it has contributed to the life and thought and progress of the world. A man's greatness is not estimated by the size of his body or of his purse; not by his family connections or social position, however high these may be. He may bulk large in public estimation today, but tomorrow he will be forgotten like a dream, and his very servants may secure a higher position and a name lasting possibly a little longer. A man's greatness is estimated by his influence, not over the votes and empty cheers of a changing and passing crowd, but by his abiding, inspiring influence in their bidden thoughts, upon their ways of thinking, and consequently of acting. That is why the Wycliffes, Shakespeares, Miltons, Newtons, Wesleys, and Gladstones of English history live, and will live, in everlasting memory, while lesser men are remembered only through them, and the crowd of demagogues, pretenders, and self-seekers are named, if ever named, only to point a moral, or adorn a tale. So with nations. A great nation is not one which, like Russia, has an enormous territory ; or, like China, has an enormous population. It is the nation which gives mankind new modes of thought, new ideals of life, new hopes, new aspirations; which lifts the world out of the rut, and sets it going on a cleaner and brighter road.
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A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
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The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.
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The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
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The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
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A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.
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A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.
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Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
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Arson and cruelty to animals are 2 of 3 childhood warning signs regarding the potential to be a serial killer. (To no longer objectify living beings by ceasing hunting and fishing takes one l step further away from the murder of humans.)
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It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
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The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.
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It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
Funny
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There is no record in history of a happy philosopher.
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The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore.
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The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
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All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.
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The world always makes the assumption that the exposure of an error is identical with the discovery of truth--that the error and truth are simply opposite. They are nothing of the sort. What the world turns to, when it is cured on one error, is usually simply another error, and maybe one worse than the first one.
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