Poetry Forum

Dean Wood - all messages by user

8/24/2017 9:11:38 AM
Midlife Crises: comments please.	Thank you all for your kind words. I will change that last line in the 1st stanza. Nice catch! It is great to have others give constructive suggestions. Thanks again, Dean
8/24/2017 9:22:42 AM
be brutal :)	Sounds like are real somber guy! I am not good with this form so I have no suggestions. I enjoyed this!
8/24/2017 9:25:23 AM
I am just your average human being.	Nice to get to know you Jessica. I look forward to reading more of your work!
8/24/2017 9:31:00 AM
Part two	This is great Keith! Only one line I didn't like as much. "now I'm feeling like a fat mule". This line doesn't have the flare or poetic feel that the rest of the poem has. Perhaps replacing "fat" with another adjective? I really enjoyed this poem.
8/24/2017 9:35:08 AM
Hello everyone!	It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance Raga'ah! Welcome to the Soup!
8/24/2017 9:45:42 AM
First poem in many years, is it too bland/boring?	Jessica, this is fine! Don't worry about others think of your work. I have tried hard to learn from others, pay attention to the comments in poems you think stand out. Try to use more poetic devices without giving up "your" style. I tried writing to please others once and my quality suffered. Write from emotion and you will be great. In this poem you have chose to write couplets, separated by a repeating refrain. Wonderful! I offer one suggestion. In your story lines (not the refrain) pick a meter (iambic perhaps) and/or a syllable count and try to match all these lines a little closer. Great job!
8/28/2017 9:27:30 PM
Still my first poem ever, updated. Slam is hard	This is much smoother than the first time I read it. Great job with the edit. I caught one spelling error you may want to fix. "self defense" is how it is spelled. Nice work!
8/30/2017 10:09:48 AM
Still my first poem ever, updated. Slam is hard	Oh, my bad! I'm from the US. Thanks for clarifying that Darren!
8/30/2017 10:11:22 AM
Midlife Crises: comments please.	Thanks Darren, I will look at that!
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