My Name is Mud
Blog Posted by
Just That Archaic Poet: 10/29/2013 11:05:00 AM
Well, based on the reception of yesterday's blog entry, I assume I managed to piss off or put off just about everyone who read it, and, as the title implies, I suppose now my name is mud. I feel like a villain because I stated an unpopular opinion which was quite ill-received. Am I a bad guy for caring about every aspect of The Soup- for wanting to make and keep it the best site for poets on the whole internet? Does it make me a bad person because I want to enhance our haven- to liven up an overall dead section of our site? If caring about this makes me a miscreant, then I suppose I shall have to accept that mantle.
It seems that most people took offensive to the word "selfish". Based on the replies, it seems that my point was proven, for I heard repeatedly that no one seemed to care about the forums, that they had better things to do; that they were disinterested, etc. That's the way I perceived it. I have "Borderline" disorder which makes me prone to look at things in a black and white context. Telling you this is, this is in no way an attempt to play the "mentally ill" card to excuse my behavior and is not a justification; it's simply the way my mind works. In my mind, if you are unwilling to participate in the forums, you must be selfish, and while this may be an extreme jump to conclusion, it's where my mind goes. It doesn't mean that you are in fact selfish or a bad person; it just means that's how I look at things. Being an impulsive creature by nature, I shoot first and ask questions later. I told myself when I began this post that I was not going to apologize, but after much thought and consideration while typing this, I realize that I did unnecessarily offend and alienate some people, which is something I don't want to do. While I still believe I am right in this matter, I do not want to tread too harshly on anyone's toes, especially since I sincerely want to make new friends. So I will take this opportunity and apologize to anyone I offended. I don't want to make myself into a pariah or outcast here because I genuinely love The Soup.
Yesterday, I spoke out of frustration and did not take many things into consideration before I launched into my tirade. Part of my illness makes me feel inclined to get resentful if people do not act or behave in the way or manner in which I want or expect them to; I can admit that. The leaders of this site do in fact do a good job, and I shouldn't have targeted them. I did not consider all the good work they do in other areas and aspects. The bottom line is this: after years of scouring the internet for a place that I can call my poetic home and sanctuary, I finally found it here at The Soup, and perhaps my enthusiasm went overboard. I have had nothing but terrible experiences on every poetry site I've ever joined, being repeatedly ridiculed and bashed for my poetic style. I just want to make and keep The Soup the wonderful refuge it is. I feel like the forums are neglected and I was hoping we could all band together and work on it together, but instead of approaching it in a gentler manner, I took the abrasive route, and we all know the adage of catching more flies with honey than vinegar. I made a mistake, and I apologize for it. I will always be prone to making similar mistakes in the future, so I ask for your patience and understanding in this matter. I hope that those I offended can and will forgive me. I spoke in a harsh, demeaning manner and I was/am wrong for that. I hope you will give me another chance. Thanks for taking time to read this. Again, my sincerest apologies. ~Chan Hurst aka JustThatArchaicPoet