Random Thoughts (re-post) - Chris D. Aechtner's Blog

About Chris D. Aechtner
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Dreamt a dream
about falling asleep,
woke up in yet another one --
a near-seamless string of dreams within dreams.

As I become older, 
I still retain the eternal heart of a 6 year old child.
Sort of like Peter Pan ....

.... and I will always take my chances with Captain Hook.

I am a Canuck who grew up on the West Coast.
I have some of this, do a little of that (lol).
Aside from writing, I enjoy oil painting as a creative outlet.
I love mountain biking.
I am a gardener and bio-chemist.
(So many "I"s)

As far as the Peter Conspiracy goes,
Chris is a shortened version of my birth-name.
It is my legal name.
I am not some guy from NYC; I have never lived in NYC.

PoetrySoup.com is the first site where I publicly posted a poem online.




Random Thoughts (re-post)

Blog Posted:9/26/2012 3:15:00 PM
Someone on the Soup asked if Harry Horsman is my Father.
I found this to be quite an intriguing question,
especially considering our surnames(re-marriage, etc, could
make such things possible, I suppose).
Harry isn't my Father, but if he was, I am sure that he would
be a good Dad.

On the topic of Fathers, I was wondering how many people on
the Soup know about all of my Dads? You see, I have four Fathers;
two of them are biological.
Now, most people don't believe that two separate sperm belonging
to two different donors, could fertilize the same egg.
I say bullocks to the non-believers, as I am living proof~!!
I never understood why this was such a hard thing to believe,
especially when considering some of the other facts about my life.
Such as the fact that even though I was born in 1973,
I was arrested under the guise of McCarthyism in Ohio,
during the spring of 1953.
THAT is much harder to believe than the possibility of two sperm
from separate donors successfully fertilizing the same embryo, right?
Yet, I was arrested as a Red in 1953, and imprisoned for 4 years,
a full 20 years before I was born.
Add to the confusion, the fact that I was also born in 1975.
I have led a crazy life so far.
At the moment, I am raising a pack of Triceratops....
....needless to say, it is an expensive and time-consuming venture.

Alright, so now back to my two biological Dads.
Dad number one is, Mick Jagger, and Dad number two is, John Lennon.
The most amazing thing about this, is how much both Dads detested
each other(not so much publicly, though),
yet they ended up in the same bed....
....well, you know wot I am talking about.
I call(ed) them: Mick-Dad and John-Dad.
I got my cheekbones, nose and hair from John-Dad;
my lips and libido from Mick-Dad.
Most people feel sorry for me that my Fathers are Jagger and Lennon -
you know, the whole bad example analogy surrounding Mick-Dad,
and because John-Dad was murdered by Mark D. Chapman(may he die a
violent death!).

Ok, Mick-Dad almost ruined my life, I can admit this;
but I still love him as a Dad.
No questions asked.
The problem wasn't so much Mick-Dad, as it was, Uncle Keith.
Keith Richards isn't really my Uncle; I just called him Uncle Keith.
One of my Mick-Dad's worst judgement calls, was to have Uncle Keith
babysit me a lot. Uncle Keith partied, but contrary to belief,
he spent a lot of time getting drunk and high in a more private setting,
inbetween tours, albums, and drug-induced orgies.
By the time I was four, Uncle Keith had me drinking booze
like a fish drinks water.
By the age of six, I was smoking cigarettes and experimenting with narcotics.
I vividly remember being six years old in the summer of 1978(remember,
since I was also born in 1975, I was simultaneously 6 and 4 years-old~!!).
Mick-Dad had a year-long lease on a penthouse apartment in
downtown Barcelona, Spain.
Uncle Keith was babysitting me, because Mick-Dad was visiting one
of his many mistresses.
He turned to me and said:

"Heahernnnnnn 'aveah chumun ovah shishiloumbah."

99% of wot Uncle Keith said was indecipherable by me.
I simply took a wild stab, guessed at wot he meant.
He held out his hand, showcasing a blue pill in his palm.
Because I was six, I figured he was offering me one of those
Flintstones multivitamins.
Uncle Keith poured me a triple Scotch, no water,
to help wash down wot I believed at the time to be a multivitamin.
20 minutes later, I was so high,
that I had cranked up the stereo and was dancing.
Dancing hard.
I believed that my dancing was generating the electricity
needed to run the building, and how if I stopped dancing,
there wouldn't be any electricity to power the stereo....
....or anything else, for that matter.
The sun was going down,
and the prospect of hanging out with Uncle Keith in the dark,
filled me with nightmarish trepidation.
He was scary enough with the lights on.
For me to keep the lights going,
I had to keep generating electricity by dancing.
Uncle Keith was clapping along, rolling around on the couch,
laughing himself silly.
He kept shouting:

"Hupargh ah lil' butah loudah boooooiiiii!"

I believe he had been telling me to crank the music louder
because he couldn't hear it?
Regardless, he seemed to be having a blast watching me dance,
while he snorted massive piles of cocaine from off the coffee table.
This was just the tip of the iceberg.
6 months later, I was snorting cocaine with Uncle Keith.
The lines were fatter than two finger widths.
Then, just as I was becoming addicted to shooting smack with Uncle Keith,
John-Dad came to my rescue.

John Lennon was nothing like the media and fans/haters believed him to be.
Yes, he didn't help raise my half-brother, until Julian had turned 4 years old.
Yes, he didn't intervene with me, until I was 6 years old.
Yes, he had done copious amounts of drugs, and had been a
violent prick during his 20s -- but that was in his past.
He was a resilient man.
He wasn't the space cadet that people made him out to be.
By the time he saved me from the clutches of Uncle Keith
and my sex-addicted Mick-Dad, John-Dad had turned over a new leaf.
He wanted to be a good Father, even if it meant hardly recording any
new music.
And wot a wonderful Father he was. Sincerely.
After sending me to a great rehabilitation centre in Maryland,
John-Dad was nothing short of a loving, nurturing and aware Father.
He was a full-time, stay-at-home parent by this point.
He did all of the grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, cooked our meals,
and even home-schooled Julian and I.
Unfortunately, this was less than 2 years before he was murdered by Chapman.
Even though our time together was short, he impacted my life for the positive.
I remember how he would wear disguises because he wanted to be able to
traverse the city without guards, chauffers and the whole deal.
We would walk, bicycle, take public transit and cabs all over New York City,
bringing along our sketchbooks. We would simply observe everyday life
together, jotting down quick sketches as we went.
After returning home, we would cut out the newest sketches using
exacto-blades, fix them up, finish them off with water colours.
If it wasn't raining, we would do this exercise out on the balcony,
where we grew all sorts of vegetables together.
In a way, I am thankful that I wasn't in New York on the fateful night
my John-Dad was shot in the back with 4 hollow-points from a .38 Special
revolver(Mark D. Chapman, may you die a violent death~!!).
I had been in the Kremlin on a 3 week visit with one of my other Fathers,
Mikhael Gorbechev.

It wasn't until 2 years later, when the reality of the incident truly set in,
and I broke down into a deep spell of depression.
Uncle Paul had Julian and I live with him for about a year.
He really helped us get through this dark period in our lives.
I have fond memories of performing "Blackbird" with Uncle Paul and Julian.

All in all, I feel lucky to have had so many interesting Dads.
Not sure why people feel sorry for me.
Especially when considering the $100 million in my Swiss bank account.

I have nearly fully recovered from the influences of Uncle Keith....

Wot can I say? I was born to Rock & Roll.

Please Login
  1. Date: 9/27/2012 11:07:00 PM
    I'm not born yet. I am a trace of DNA and cabbage mulch... funny blog. So much for sleep. Ugh...1am?

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  1. Date: 9/26/2012 8:57:00 PM
    I'm going too fast tonight to read this all. But it is some really fun blarney that I was reading in the first half of it! So who is the little dude in the bottom picture?

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    Dietrich Avatar Andrea Dietrich Date: 9/26/2012 10:53:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    oh, thought maybe it was his son, Chris. hahaha
    O. Avatar Ruben O. Date: 9/26/2012 9:01:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    It's Lennon! : )
  1. Date: 9/26/2012 7:43:00 PM
    Im glad you've re-post this story because I have not read it before. There is just one thing hard to believe: Barcelona is not in Spain! : ) Those psilocybin shrooms are so goooood!

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    O. Avatar Ruben O. Date: 9/26/2012 8:32:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    These shrooms are anti-depressant....when im out of them: I write "time" poems! : )
    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner Date: 9/26/2012 8:27:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Ruben, wot Barcelona are you talking about haha!
    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner Date: 9/26/2012 8:22:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Ruben, you noticed! There are a few other discrepancies as well lol....
  1. Date: 9/26/2012 7:16:00 PM
    What you are about to read is the truth, maybe not the whole truth, but true nevertheless. I was born in 1900 (according to the US government - both SS and IRS) My grandmother was born in 1902. I am older than my own grandmother. My mother was born in 1925 (not really important, but i love her) I was born in 1951 according to my mother. I married my husband in 1973. Again, the US government claims it was 1975. Now who would get married at age 75 to a youngster only 22. I do not have a birth certificate because I was born in a military hospital, now defunct. SS will not accept the card I do have, but neither can prove I was born in 1900 - so, the question is - was I born?

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    Grisetti Avatar Joann Grisetti Date: 9/26/2012 10:04:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    This is actual fact, it is just hard to believe. The US government insists that my birth date is 1900. I have been arguing with them since 1995.
    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner Date: 9/26/2012 8:25:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Joann, that is a very neat story!
    O. Avatar Ruben O. Date: 9/26/2012 7:34:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    : )
  1. Date: 9/26/2012 3:43:00 PM
    well we have one thing in common Rock & Roll, so maybe there is a connection Son. my recent dna test in the good U.S of A tells me i'm a viking, and with all the red heads in my family i'm not surprised::: anyhow not seen this blog before, and i'm disappointed, at what francine below reveals.. i thought it was all true, bugger me got it wrong again!!!!!!!!!

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 9/27/2012 7:22:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    could be my mum was a stunner lolxx
    horsman Avatar harry horsman Date: 9/27/2012 7:06:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    chance would be a fine thing Mandy, although sixpence today would be worth a few Quid...
    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 9/27/2012 6:57:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Are you my dad too harry, there is red hair in my family, my grandfather was given a sixpence once by a man that said he would give a six pence to anyone with redder hair than him. xx
    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner Date: 9/26/2012 5:46:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Harry-Dad! How goes it, Pa? I knew you were a viking!
    Roberts Avatar Francine Roberts Date: 9/26/2012 3:54:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    now now Harry, I said I would believe it to be total fabrication if it were anyone BUT our Chris... of course I believe him
  1. Date: 9/26/2012 3:21:00 PM
    I have read this before, love it and would find it total fabrication Chris if it was anyone but you... have an awesome day

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    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner Date: 9/26/2012 5:45:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Heya, Francine -- thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt(lol), and being a good sport! I hope you have an awesome day as well.

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My Recent Poems

Date PostedPoemTitleFormCategories
3/25/2017 Snag: 10 Minute Prose Prosewords,
3/23/2017 Until Light Bleeds Through Free versegrowth,
3/16/2017 The Java Bean Cult Free versepassion,satire,
7/14/2016 Autobahn Free verseamerica,history,words,
9/13/2015 when the words dissolve upon our tongues Free versewords,
3/15/2015 instead of haiku Tankaappreciation,
4/5/2014 -- and there are proverbs Free verseallegory,philosophy,
12/10/2013 SWITCH magazine Free versededication,hope,life,love
12/8/2013 M Free versecelebration,hope,life,lov
9/18/2013 A Reminder: To Be Free versetruth,writing,
8/1/2013 Live the Cliches Free versedream,hope,love,poetry,in
12/17/2012 Isle of Bast Free versefather daughter,love,me,m
10/20/2012 shine Tankalove,mystery,passion,roma
8/30/2012 Cornflower Blue Free versehope,life,love,mystery,dr
6/2/2012 Afterglow Free verselove,passion,words,me,me,
5/24/2012 Closer Free versehope,life,love,peace,blue
4/30/2012 Motherland's Funeral Free versededication,funeral,lost,m
4/6/2012 Love Poem 29 Free versedaffodils,life,love,passi
3/1/2012 Slowly Turning Japanese Free versegiggle,life,love,passion,
3/1/2012 ripples Tankalife,love,philosophy,than
2/24/2012 Yamazakura Tankawar,
2/18/2012 kids use toy guns Haikuwar,
1/28/2012 Big Poo, Small Poo, Yellow Poo, Blue Poo Light Poetryfor children,blue,yellow,
9/29/2010 honking recedes Haikunature,seasons,
8/5/2010 actions Tankanature,passion,
3/25/2010 An Ode to Ezra Pound - musical accompaniment performed by audio-visual hallucinations Free versededication,imagery,inspir
3/25/2010 rows of wet saplings Haikuallegory,nature,
3/7/2010 Updrafts Free verseintrospection,peace,dark,

My Photos



Fav Poems

Ripping Christ Verseallegory,history,social,t
Pulp Rhymeallegory,death,history,li
A Deeper Divide Versepassion,people,philosophy
The Devil's Tide Narrativeadventure,angel,june,life
Psychedelic Verselife,love,mystery,nostalg
Recording/Re-playing/Recording/Re-playing Free verselife,people,philosophy,ti
The Skipping of Stones Chokanature,sea
MUSEUM OF MODERN ART Free verseinspirational,uplifting
This Night Sonnet 
Day of Reckoning Chokanature
Go Ask Alice Quatrainallegory,devotion,fantasy
the farm boy Tankachildhood,nature
A. Long Learned Tale. I do not know?epic,space,
Socialites Free verselifenight,night,
Priorities Viewed by a Dying Man Villanelledeath,introspectionnature
Answered Prayer Sijolife,nature
Haiku for Hidden Habitats Haikunature
Raindrops I do not know?adventure,angst,art,imagi
Pretentious Collaboration Written During Conversation (Credit to Emmily Rosa) Free versepeople,love,may,time,
I Remember When I Could Fly Lyricsong-lyricme,me,
Anxious Dissolution Free verseallegory,depression,intro
Is this a Grook or Not? (Nothing) Grookconfusion
Let me write you something. Free verseloveme,write,epic,me,writ
Under the Same Moon -3-Way-Collaboration- Coupletfriendship,lifeworld,life
Breaking Free verselost love,
Sunlit Yearnings Free verselifelife,life,
Cardinal at the feeder Rhymenature,upliftingwinter,wi
Mona Lisa Free verseartme,
Aspects Of Winter Free verseseasonsme,world,old,light
Suncatcher --recited Free verseinspirational,introspecti
'Water' Cinquainnature
Interwoven Free versefamily,friendship,life,lo
IN THE DENTIST'S CHAIR Free verseadventurefootball,me,
Canadian Chris Limerickon writing and words,peop
Double Phantasy Free versebaby,loss,mystery,sad,
In Perfect Equilibrium: A Collaboration with Chris :D Aechtner Free versefaith,hope,introspection,
A Hummerous Life Burlesquefunny,political,satire,
Attention: WORD NERDS--------- The Eight Parts of Speech Dramatic Verseart,education,family,for
Whispers of Moogsmoorwood Free verseadventure,fantasy,words,m
If you name a poem something cheesy like--- Venus --- it Will only get twenty reads Free versefriendship,girlfriend-boy
bloody men Free versedeath,fear,introspection,
GRABBING COLORS WITH VINCENT Free verseart,dream,poetry,
her silent seams Free versewords,
A Solstice Free versedeath,faith,religion,
ThE DrUnkeN BuMMMM Free verselife,
TOUCH Rhymelove,me,
Withdrawal in a dream Free verseangst,depression,me,
Phobia Free verseangst,world,light,light,
Let Me Float Free verseintrospection,me,body,me,
Sing Solitude-Play Soltude-Confetti's Song Lyriclovedream,dream,love,
Cassiopeia Terzanellefantasy,night,beauty,beau
Watching Him Watching Her Free versepassion,
If Shoelaces Sang Little Rich Town Blues Free versehome,old,lost,lost,old,
ONE FALCON FEATHER Free versefreedom,
Always Free versededication,friend,life,li
Seen Through A Half Glass Free verseintrospection,
MILDEWED EXPECTATIONS Free verseheartbroken,son,
CAPTCHA's Cruelty Free verseabsence,abuse,addiction,a
Dear Lucifer Odeabsence,analogy,character
Reservoir of Dreams Free versehistory,mystery,places,
haiku 5 Haikunature,
Madiba, Madiba Free versebereavement,
Chris D Aechtner Haikuabsence
The Flight of Tempest Reigned Balladanalogy,deep,devotion,fee
Write a Song of Freedom Free versesatire,
EDUCATED Free verseeducation,life,truth,wisd
A Lion Looms Listless Epiccharacter,
Tanka 1 about Smudged Roses Tankaabsence,books,break up,de
O Raintree of Steel Tankaenvironment,
First Date Tankabird,
The Passion Of Christ Free versejesus,passion,sensual,
Elicit Illicit Lucid Dreams -contains nudity- Carpe Diemallegory,allusion,appreci
Oh Goddess Moon Versemoon,
Green Dahlia Free versecreation,
Like Zephyr Breeze Free verseabsence,
Raven Free versedark,i miss you,love hurt
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Untitled Free versebooks,
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christopher higgins Jamaica Flag Jamaica Read
daver austin United States Flag United States Read
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Ruben O. Argentina Flag Argentina Read
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kabuteng P.iNk k. Philippines Flag Philippines Read
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Wilma Neels South Africa Flag South Africa Read
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