Voiced Thoughts
I'm confused
Who exactly is the right one?
The one I'm with is slowly falling for another
The ones I don't want treat me like an empress
I'm unhappy and yet still stuck up on this
It's right there in my heart
A vacuum I've always believed is a space that now you hold
How do I even start to fight?
Sometimes it gets peaceful when he's not there
And when he is,well.. can't call me insecure
I'm thinking things through
Mostly about how much longer till I can end things
Wanting to leave with no regrets
But, am I really falling for another?
Cos it'd always be a shock,that I for one
Am willing to let it go
And then, there comes the doubled effort
To get me to see how my world's slowly been made
To totally revolve around you and do your wishes
It hurts too when you say the craziest things to my face
It hurts to know that I'm not doing enough
It hurts to know that I'm still very lacking
Bro, whatever happened to loving those flaws
What happened to loving you some me
What happened to commitment?
Yo! just tell me what happened to perfect?
It's ringing over and over in my head
But what good is this love if you're at your very best
When the other person's had just about enough of it's least?
When I'm not with you, it sure feels like an escape
Into the fading memories of what true happiness feels like
I'm not the one the whole world hears about
I doubt even your friends know I exist
But it's fine, I've totally managed to pull through all these years
Babe, and I bet many more are dying to be called this
You're literally an object of envy to many guys out there
Who are willing to do the unimaginable to get me
To give them even half the love that I've ever shown you
Cos even that, when returned is enough to sustain any happy marriage
How exactly did we get to this point?
I'm made to believe I've wasted a few long years
In this delusion of forced happiness
Should've listened when my friends called me crazy
Truly, it's not right when that word defines love
Cos we'd surely get blinded by the ever shallow demands of pretence
A pseudonym for that word called love
Now, I'd slowly give you what you've always wanted
But this time, I'd make sure you feel the throes of anguish
That I once felt for innocently giving my heart
I promise that you're going to beg
Oh, you'd so beg for what I once freely gave
And then I'd throw you right out the door
Into the world, and sure as hell out of my life!
Copyright © Esther Lawrence | Year Posted 2023
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