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Esther Lawrence Poem
I'm confused
Who exactly is the right one?
The one I'm with is slowly falling for another
The ones I don't want treat me like an empress
I'm unhappy and yet still stuck up on this
It's right there in my heart
A vacuum I've always believed is a space that now you hold
How do I even start to fight?
Sometimes it gets peaceful when he's not there
And when he is,well.. can't call me insecure
I'm thinking things through
Mostly about how much longer till I can end things
Wanting to leave with no regrets
But, am I really falling for another?
Cos it'd always be a shock,that I for one
Am willing to let it go
And then, there comes the doubled effort
To get me to see how my world's slowly been made
To totally revolve around you and do your wishes
It hurts too when you say the craziest things to my face
It hurts to know that I'm not doing enough
It hurts to know that I'm still very lacking
Bro, whatever happened to loving those flaws
What happened to loving you some me
What happened to commitment?
Yo! just tell me what happened to perfect?
It's ringing over and over in my head
But what good is this love if you're at your very best
When the other person's had just about enough of it's least?
When I'm not with you, it sure feels like an escape
Into the fading memories of what true happiness feels like
I'm not the one the whole world hears about
I doubt even your friends know I exist
But it's fine, I've totally managed to pull through all these years
Babe, and I bet many more are dying to be called this
You're literally an object of envy to many guys out there
Who are willing to do the unimaginable to get me
To give them even half the love that I've ever shown you
Cos even that, when returned is enough to sustain any happy marriage
How exactly did we get to this point?
I'm made to believe I've wasted a few long years
In this delusion of forced happiness
Should've listened when my friends called me crazy
Truly, it's not right when that word defines love
Cos we'd surely get blinded by the ever shallow demands of pretence
A pseudonym for that word called love
Now, I'd slowly give you what you've always wanted
But this time, I'd make sure you feel the throes of anguish
That I once felt for innocently giving my heart
I promise that you're going to beg
Oh, you'd so beg for what I once freely gave
And then I'd throw you right out the door
Into the world, and sure as hell out of my life!
Copyright © Esther Lawrence | Year Posted 2023
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Details |
Esther Lawrence Poem
How many have experienced this?
First, getting caught in this web
Of feelings so absurd, yet amazing
Then comes the daily battle for freedom
We literally slowly begin to lose ourselves
In this crazy continuous hate of self
We've been best friends seven years
But not once did I care about dressing to impress
So,what now is this that makes me so conscious?
Wanting to wear diamonds and look baked
Yet wishing no one notices but you
What feeling is this that makes me so jealous
Of old friends being by your side?
What is this I can't control?
What is this that pulls me closer
Even when I want to be so far from you?
Oh,what weird feeling is this that envelopes my heart
Making me act ten years younger
Is this what is called insanity?
Daydreams becoming as constant as days changing
Of you and I drowning in eternal happiness
We're vibrant teenagers now, and should I say?
Just the sight of you, takes my breath away
I'm loving you alone from a distance
Afraid to ruin the gemütlich friendship we both share
Very much convinced that I'm the only one with these weird feelings
Taking me to the familiar yet alluring colourful display
Of the many flowers in our secret garden,
My heart had never leaped higher than in the instant we locked hands
Your shaky voice making my name sound like lyrics to a song
Looking at you with great expectations, wishing my dreams would come true
Your gloom expression,a warning to expect very little
Yet my heart bled when you said "good-bye"
Still,what feeling is this that makes pain so comforting
Involuntarily choosing to dwell only in happy memories
Forgiving with no apologies rendered
Holding on to our friendship bracelet with all I had
Wanting to never lose the "forever" we promised each other
Years have passed and I can now call you a man
My ambitions fulfilled,I guess it's time to let go of our memories
Wrongly convinced I've been the only one with the weird feeling
But nature is always ahead of the unsuspecting to bring true lovers together
For my long lost Eddie turned out to be my very own boss
Copyright © Esther Lawrence | Year Posted 2022
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Details |
Esther Lawrence Poem
I've got a clean sheet
What's it goin'a be?
My mind's clear
Not a single thing comes to mind
I take that advice
To listen to the voice deep inside my head
And there, in absolute tranquility,
Your name rings
And even in the crazy excitement,
I can find inner peace
It's suddenly starting to make sense
Not sure if I'm worth the time and attention you give
Not sure if it's all just what I want to believe
Is it just in my head?
Can you feel it too?
How I'm slowly falling in love with you.
Copyright © Esther Lawrence | Year Posted 2022
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Details |
Esther Lawrence Poem
You should've told me I wasn't good enough
You should've told me how much I bothered you
You should've told me to keep the fair distance
But instead,you welcomed me into your cold embrace
Making me blindly believe I'm all you've ever wanted
Wasting my time, wasting those long years
It's so sad I kept coming back
Thinking you're the one meant for me
Like a fool,I reassured myself
Wholely accepting that I must trust to be loved
You must've found that very entertaining
We all know to you,I was one big joke
Was it fun playing with me?
Was it even more fun cheating on me?
It hurts less now that I'm done forcing what doesn't exist
Truth is,I want you to be happy
And you sure as hell will be
I'm glad I've been made to dodge a bullet
But you'll never be happier with her
Copyright © Esther Lawrence | Year Posted 2022
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Details |
Esther Lawrence Poem
A strong feeling envelopes my heart
I try to act cool and play the part
But seeing you two singing and enjoying the melody
Makes it hard to fight the jealousy
Two love birds should be of the same feather
If not they can never be together
You two make the perfect couple
Realizing that makes the anger double....
Copyright © Esther Lawrence | Year Posted 2022
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