Unintended Beauty
Unintended beauty
I was not meant to be beautiful
So when I cut my hair
To sculpt my face perfectly
I forget...
When I slip-on that satin lingerie
Or drape yards of chiffon around me
Ensuring the fabric hugs my body tightly
And flaunt my curves rightly
I forget...
When I slip into them heels and wear a hot pout
When I put on all this makeup to cover every inch of my doubt
I forget...
I forget.
That this, was not,
What I intended to be!
I am not beautiful and beauty is neither my destination,
Nor my destiny
I am not that beautiful satin robe
Nor the perfect beach waves worthy of a stare
I am the late night clumsy PJs.
My messy morning hair
I am the poems gushing from my veins
I am every inch of my despair
I am my fingertips restless on this typewriter
And the broken heart they toil to repair
Then why must I cut myself thin,
Why shed the ugly from my skin
Why must I forget?
That my bone structure
Is not an architectural marvel
For tourists to revel in its beauty
It’s a shelter of the soul
Sacred to people who call it home.
I am too much of everything I am
I am my fierceness, my passion
But also the sweetest form of honey
I am my hysterical laughter
But also midnight rants
I am a ray of hope
But I never leave darkness’s hands
I just leave claw marks on hearts
I am a marvelous contradiction
Subtly, too much of everything I am
How is it that I permit myself?
Why over and over I forget
That I am not beauty
And she is not me
Hell, she lacks the magnitude to be
For I am too much!
Too much for beauty to behold,
In her pretty, delicate arms.
And I am tired
Of playing dress-up with her!
So I remind myself,
Every time I forget
To stop slipping into this ugly lie
that covers the beautiful truth I am.
Yet I am forgetful,
That's why when I intend to be beautiful
I forget.
All the unintended beauty that I already am!
Copyright © Priyanka Malhotra | Year Posted 2020
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