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Poem
 Unintended beauty

I was not meant to be beautiful
So when I cut my hair 
To sculpt my face perfectly
I forget...
When I slip-on that satin lingerie 
Or drape yards of chiffon around me
Ensuring the fabric hugs my body tightly
And flaunt my curves rightly
I forget...
When I slip into them heels and wear a hot pout
When I put on all this makeup to cover every inch of my doubt
I forget...

I forget. 
That this, was not, 
What I intended to be!
I am not beautiful and beauty is neither my destination,
Nor my destiny

I am not that beautiful satin robe
Nor the perfect beach waves worthy of a stare 
I am the late night clumsy PJs. 
My messy morning hair
I am the poems gushing from my veins
I am every inch of my despair
I am my fingertips restless on this typewriter 
And the broken heart they toil to repair

Then why must I cut myself thin,
Why shed the ugly from my skin
Why must I forget? 
That my bone structure
Is not an architectural marvel
For tourists to revel in its beauty
It’s a shelter of the soul
Sacred to people who call it home. 

I am too much of everything I am
I am my fierceness, my passion
But also the sweetest form of honey 
I am my hysterical laughter 
But also midnight rants 
I am a ray of hope
But I never leave darkness’s hands
I just leave claw marks on hearts
I am a marvelous contradiction
Subtly, too much of everything I am

How is it that I permit myself?
Why over and over I forget 
That I am not beauty 
And she is not me
Hell, she lacks the magnitude to be
For I am too much!
Too much for beauty to behold,
In her pretty, delicate arms.
And I am tired 
Of playing dress-up with her!

So I remind myself,
Every time I forget
To stop slipping into this ugly lie
that covers the beautiful truth I am. 
Yet I am forgetful,
That's why when I intend to be beautiful
I forget.
All the unintended beauty that I already am!
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