Why
Why must we complicate life when it’s already so complicated?
Why must I do this to myself?
I don’t know the answer to these questions yet and I hoped by writing all this down,
it would help me get to the conclusion that everyone has been waiting for; Why?
Instead, I’m now realizing that there’s an even bigger question.
Why don’t I ever want to help myself?
I keep sinking yet I don’t shake off my shackles that hold me.
These shackles are heavily weighted with doubt and questions that force me to the bottom of the never-ending pit.
I’ve always had the key to release me but I’ve convinced myself that I do not have the mental capacity to apply it.
If only I would use it.
If only I stopped making excuses and putting it off.
If I did, I could then start swimming to the top.
To the surface.
The surface that has been shown to me many times before.
The surface that I thought I wanted.
The surface that I thought would end all my suffering.
And maybe, just maybe, if I reach the top of the water, I may just find land.
Copyright © Arianna Pajaro | Year Posted 2020
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