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Best Poems Written by Trash Boat

Below are the all-time best Trash Boat poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Trash Boat Poem

Fat Man

I like to eat stuff
I'm not very buff
I think i'm pretty tough
My doctor says my health is pretty rough
My girlfriends name is muff
I hate her
She always calls me fat
Even though her face looks like a bat
My mom says i'm obese
I'm cheating on my girl with Denise
Shes pretty fat too
She likes mario and she hate the boo
Shes so fat you'd think she would moo
She even look like a cow
She doesn't have a left eyebrow
So you can say my life is pretty bad
My friends make me mad
You can say i'm pretty fat
But i love to eat cats
Its nothing personal
I just think its pretty cool
On pokemon i like to duel
Eating is my number one rule
So you can say i'm pretty fat
But i can say that you look like a rat
So watch what you say
Because i will make you pay
I like fishing on the bay
because i was so fat that i broke the deck
I almost broke my neck
I think i need to go on more healthy
My family is pretty wealthy
They eat a lot of butter
They like to use meat cutters
On my dogs
I broke my window with a log
I like singing songs
But i hate using bongs
I'm not like cheech and chong
Some say i got it all wrong
But i say they are a bunch of ding dongs
Most people hate me
I keep loosing my house key
In school i had straight D's
I'm not very smart
And i like to fart
I like to play mario kart
I tried playing darts
Most people say i'm a tart
Im a pretty fat man
I ate so much at mcdonalds that i'm banned
My diabetes is pretty high
I think I might cry
Doc said i might die
I just began to sigh
I began to cry
This isn't fair
I went and fought a bear
It didn't turn out good
I was going to win,well i thought i would
I was rushed to the hospital
I own a lot of cattle
I go out there and shoot one every year
I alway eat stuff with beer
But eh doctors would give me any
I was watching forest gump, his friends name was jennie
I need to loose some weight
But I'm at burger king so it'll have to wait
I need a bag of chips
But i need some dip
I wish I had a job
But I like to hang with my friend bob
Hes pretty dumb
Hes big bum
He owns a hen
He likes dating men
I need to stop hanging with him
Hes is a sin
But i don't want to be mean
I ate a baked bean
It tasted bad
It was pretty rad
I found it on the toilet
Spongebob said i soiled it
For christmas i want a baseball kit
But i spent all my money on food
People say i'm rude
But im not in the freaking mood
When i used to perform at concerts they always boo'd
I hate my life
I also hate my wife
I stabbed my arm with a knife
It hurt pretty bad
Im pretty fat

Details | Trash Boat Poem

Taking Out the Trash

I took out the trash
After making some cash
I tripped over a bug
I got bit in the leg by a pug
I got up and  limped back to my house
A kid started laughing cuz i was wearing my wife's blouse
I went over and punched him in the face
His mom sprayed me with mace
So i blindly walked home
But then i stepped on a garden gnome
I fell down in pain
Then it started to rain
I crawled into my livingroom
My wife hit me in the head with a broom
She told me to move out
So i went to stay with my dad
I went to his house to pout
I was so mad
I decided to watch some basketball on the tv i found in the trash
My favorite nba player is steve nash
I should've never took out the trash!

Details | Trash Boat Poem

My Turtle Named Joe

Joe the turtle
He was purple
He loved taking naps
Hes my pet and i love to rap
Joe never moves
His stinky shell has a lot of grooves
He always stinks
i try putting him in the water but he just sinks
He is so thin
I've had him ever since i was ten
He hasn't ate anything in weeks
His neck has a lot of kinks
Joe is very skinny
He looks super wimpy
Wait a minute, i think hes dead
well i guess i'll go bury him again

Details | Trash Boat Poem

Because Im the Man

I'm the Man
my teeth are yellow
try not to bellow
My hair is nasty
I'm a little sassy
i think i'm trapped 
oops i just crapped
I love your mom
his name is tom
i love your sis
his name is chris
I like touching my legs
and eating scrambled eggs
i like taking naps
but i hate my grandpa paps
i'm going to bed 
but i want some bread 
so i hit it with my head
I don't need it anyway
I'm not going to stay
i'm moving to spain
I own a great dane
I'm going to go take a bath
because I got dirty in math
I'm sorry i just got bored
and i hit my arm with a cord
I'm just gonna throw myself in the trash can
Because i'm the man
I can't afford water because its free
so i drink glasses of tea
I've started to enjoy checking out dolphins
So i killed one and stuffed it in a coffin
Because i'm the Man

Details | Trash Boat Poem

My New Car

I bought a new car
I got in and drove to a bar
I had a little to much to drink
Then i stumbled to the sink
Rinsed off my face
I accidentally  used the soap and my eyes felt like they were shot with mace
I blindly got to my car
I had to get to my golf game in time for the first par
I slammed on the peddle
Then my engine started to rattle
And then i slammed into a tree
I got so scared that i started to pee
The whole car blew up
My throat felt like it had a lump
I couldn't speak for weeks
Because my car was no longer very neat...

Details | Trash Boat Poem

Wheres My Chicken Leg

Wheres my chicken leg
I'm not going to beg
I can't believe i lost my good old leg
I wish i could find my freaking chicken
somebody better find it before i start kickin
I miss my little baby drum stick
I'm about to hit somebody with a brick
I'm not playing
Whoever has it better start praying
Because their dead
There going to see a lot of red
I'm going to put them in a hospital bed
I might even give them a mouth full of lead
When i use my good old shotgun
So they better run
Because I need my chicken leg
This is just sad
I'm pretty mad
And to tell you the truth it's pretty sad
I'm about to go tell my dad
About how i lost my chicken leg

Details | Trash Boat Poem

My Dog Is Dead

I let my dog go outside
Once i seen what happened i began to cry
My dog ran under a car and died
I seen his head was gone and i wondered why?
The car sped off without saying a word
I was watching judge judy and the court had been adjured
When it happened i turned off the tv and ran to my baby
Maybe i can catch that jerk that killed my dog, just maybe!
I got in my car and chased that jerk
That smell of death continued to lerk
I rear ended that punk
I'm going to hurt him so bad hes going to become a monk
He stepped out of his car and came toward me
I then ran him over and broke his knee
i looked at him and said 'how does it feel?"
He looked up and said 'What's the big deal?'
'You ran over my puppy' i yelled at him
Then i did a burn out on him and killed em!
Then i went home and there was my dog
He was alive and he was chasing my hog
Oh so that wasn't my pup that was hit
i killed that guy for nothing but i don't care one bit!

Details | Trash Boat Poem

Little Johnny

Little johnny was taking a walk
when he got hit in the face by a rock
he fell to the a great thud
a kid yelled "are you ok bud?"
He stumbled to his feet
he decided to try to get out of the heat
and go under a tree
But then he got stung by a bee
he cryed as he ran home
then he tripped and broke his hip bone
little johnny crawled to his house
he got hungry and chewed on a mouse
little johnny went to his room
but he tripped over the stairs with a boom
he cryed alittle and then took a nap
he later decided to take a walk so he pulled out his map
but then a spider bit him on the hand
it felt like he got hit with a rubber band
his parents ran him threw the hospital door
little johnny, was no more.

Details | Trash Boat Poem

My Little Toad

I was walking down the road
when i found this toad
i picked it up
just as if it was a little pup
i hugged it
the toad didn't seem to care one bit
so i gave it a little kiss
The toad skooted back and began to hiss
so i gave it another hug a big one!
The toad jumped back and tried to run
so i scooped him back into my hand
i petted his back which felt like sand
I stared into the toad's eyes
Then i pulled out my box of french fries
and shared them with the toad
he sure ate quite a load
then he threw up all over my hand but i didn't mind
because this toad seemed so kind!
so i took the toad home with me
by the time i got home the toad decided to pee
hes loves cant you see??
me and this toad were just meant to be!
we watched movies together all night! 
we planned tomorrow to go outside and fly my kite
i couldn't wait to watch that kite take flight!
we both fell asleep watching spongebob
In the morning we had a plate of corn of cob
and then went outside to fly my kite
we flew that kite to a great  height
the toad just wasn't having as much fun and it just wasn't right
so i took him out for icecream
and on my way back i stepped on something and i heard a scream
i lifted my foot to see my  little toad had taking a little stumble
I had made all of his little bones into a little crumble
I buried him that afternoon
i went home and listened to my favorite toon
i couldn't take the stress anymore
so i opened up my front door
and i ran out into the road
and i ended up looking like my little toad!

Details | Trash Boat Poem

My Beautiful Wife

My wife is a piece of junk
I think she is just a punk
Shes a freaking munk
She wont fight
But she will bite
Shes so dang disgusting
and she does so much cussing
I hate that weirdo
She always wheres a stupid bow
She thinks shes pretty bold
The funny thing is, shes only 5 years old