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Tessa Yearwood Poem
i’ve been compared my whole life
to girls who look prettier
girls who dress nicer
girls who have tanner skin
blonde girls.
blondes are the prettiest
blondes dress the nicest
blondes have the tannest skin
it’s always been a blonde.
every time i’ve been replaced
been told i’m not enough
enough is a blonde.
i’m not stupid
i know enough
to see the pattern
to hear the silence
to feel the sting
before it’s said aloud.
they don’t have to say it—
i see it
i’ve learned how
to fit into “almost”
to swallow the envy like medicine
to smile through the sting of never being chosen
but i’m not going to be
someones maybe
someones safety net
someones placeholder
i am flesh
i am volume
i am more than blonde.
Copyright © Tessa Yearwood | Year Posted 2025
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Tessa Yearwood Poem
you tell me you love me—
though only after i give you something.
“go to the bathroom”
“it’ll be fast”
“it’s okay” you say when i tell you i’m scared
yet, it’s not okay.
i didn’t want love,
i wanted to be loved.
i wasn’t getting that from you,
yet this still made me feel wanted.
like someone finally wanted me.
wanted us.
in reality i was the one begging
it was all in my head.
it was all one-sided.
Copyright © Tessa Yearwood | Year Posted 2025
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Tessa Yearwood Poem
i clearly loved you more.
if you had loved me
you wouldve put in effort—
we would’ve been together,
only if you had loved me.
you said you did,
but that promise was
as hollow as the way i felt in the end
Copyright © Tessa Yearwood | Year Posted 2025
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Tessa Yearwood Poem
i put in too much effort
yet sometimes,
it’s not enough to make them stay
i try and try.
i pour my soul out,
but at the end of the day
i’m left with my thoughts.
i sit in silence and think
i think about what i need to be better
for myself and them
i need reassurance
that maybe i am doing okay
and it’s all in my head.
why am i begging after all?
i’ll know when i’ve found the right one.
right?
Copyright © Tessa Yearwood | Year Posted 2025
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Tessa Yearwood Poem
when you feel isolated
don’t burden someone with the unwavering thought of loneliness
don’t ruin a persons peace for your own comfort
when you get to know a person deeper
don’t make a game of it
when they get comfortable
you’re quick to leave
all you needed was someone to talk to
not stay with
don’t trick someone into forever
when you know you don’t have that long
Copyright © Tessa Yearwood | Year Posted 2025
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Tessa Yearwood Poem
when no one’s watching, i am.
i watch myself
take that extra bite
regret that dessert
body check every mirror
but from the outside
no one sees me
they don’t know me
only i know me
myself
the imperfect image people see so perfectly on the outside
Copyright © Tessa Yearwood | Year Posted 2025
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Tessa Yearwood Poem
i look in the mirror
but i don’t see me
i see a clearer version
of someone people want me to be
i view them as fake
while im the one trying to take
their son by
dressing different
acting different
just so i can be liked
while, in reality—
do i even like myself?
if i’m doing all this
just to get a goodnight kiss
is my soulmate truly in me
do i need to love myself first?
do i need a reality check.
Copyright © Tessa Yearwood | Year Posted 2025
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Tessa Yearwood Poem
12am, alone in my room
crying.
shaking.
just wondering—
what made you do it?
why did you hide her?
why did you lie and tell me
everything was “fine”
you said you loved me
maybe you only loved having a toy
something you could use
then toss out
maybe i didn’t mean anything to you
maybe i wasn’t ever anything.
Copyright © Tessa Yearwood | Year Posted 2025
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Tessa Yearwood Poem
maybe one day, in another time, another universe, the little girl in me doesn’t feel so deeply. maybe she learns to balance her emotions so she won’t end up getting so hurt every time. anything remotely upsetting in her life, makes her sad for weeks on end. enough to the point where she won’t eat. if she doesn’t get her way, she holds a grudge and people judge her for it. i hate that i’m like this, that the little girl in me is like this. but maybe one day, the little girl inside of me won’t feel this way.
Copyright © Tessa Yearwood | Year Posted 2025
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Tessa Yearwood Poem
there i sat at 1am
thinking about where i went wrong
as tears poured down my face
like an unearthly waterfall
i remember every conversation
trying though as to remember
why did they like me?
did they even truly like me?
or was it a game
only, someone has to put that blame on them
because i didn’t do anything wrong
or so i thought
yet i always catch myself
blaming it on me
once again.
“i pushed them away.”
“i wasn’t good enough for them.”
why do i think like that
if they really liked me
wouldn’t they have stayed
i’ve been ghosted
and i have only myself to blame
Copyright © Tessa Yearwood | Year Posted 2025
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