one side

you tell me you love me— though only after i give you something. “go to the bathroom” “it’ll be fast” “it’s okay” you say when i tell you i’m scared yet, it’s not okay. i didn’t want love, i wanted to be loved. i wasn’t getting that from you, yet this still made me feel wanted. like someone finally wanted me. wanted us. in reality i was the one begging it was all in my head. it was all one-sided.