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Kameron Bramble Poem
Would I be disappointed though
If this didn’t lead to more?
Four years of waiting
And all we have is idle conversation.
Two people who changed so much
That they’re barely the same people
Who fell in love in the first place.
What’s the point
Of rekindling those old parts
The parts of each other that we remember
Of who we used to be
Out of who we are now?
Whether for better or worse
We’ve changed
And we can’t go back.
Why am I so scared?
Scared of what you think
Someone who I told everything to
Was honest about everything to
Who I felt like my true self around
Because they fit that hole in my heart
Left by the last girl who did this.
Will I become obsessed with you?
Ruining what I have now?
Taking away the happiness
The stability I have now
For the possibility of you
Seeing me the way you used to?
Am I obsessed with you?
Why do I want you to be obsessed with me?
Do you want the same for me?
It’s not healthy for either of us.
We know this
But we can’t help ourselves.
I can’t help myself
But want you.
And I hope that you
Want me to.
Is this the end?
How does this end?
With more forgotten memories?
Moments that seemed so important
Now flickering away into insignificance
Those moments that I can’t escape from
No matter how hard I try
Do I want to escape from you?
Am I better off forgetting you?
It’s now 7 in the morning
And I can’t stop thinking about you.
Copyright © Kameron Bramble | Year Posted 2023
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Kameron Bramble Poem
Maybe I want to be.
I can’t help it
I feel like I have some sort of right
To be part of your future
Even though
Your idea of me
Is stuck in the past.
Would you be interested in me?
Who I am?
Who I’ve become?
Have I changed that much?
Would your mum still like me?
Did she ever like me?
Do you still like me?
Should I care?
Do you have good reason?
We both probably do.
Love is an inescapable avenue
One that for both of us
Started with each other.
Will you walk back down?
To see me again?
Or go your own way?
Find someone who’s right for you?
We always talked about soulmates
I always believed both of us.
It felt completely believable
Everyone agreed.
I’ve told everyone that
I’ve felt that with everyone too.
What makes you so special?
Why am I so hung up on you?
9 months of emotional guilt trips
Lying to our parents
Using each other for sex
Blaming each other for silly things
The pregnancy scares.
You never miss the bad times
You choose to forget those moments
Shoved to the back of your subconscious.
I want you back for the best times
The times that seem slowly fading away
With every year
Recalling less and less
Of how exactly we had spent
Our time together.
I think I’m happy now.
I’ve found someone I do love
And who I know loves me.
I can see my whole life with this person
I can see myself being happy with this person.
But you will continue an open book
‘The One That Got Away’
I just want to know why.
What did I do wrong?
Did I push you away from me?
Was it all my fault?
Why have I felt this way for four f*cking years
And done nothing about it?
Would we be better now?
I feel more like you
Like I’ve learned from our time apart.
I feel like you’re more like me
Do you even realise that?
Is that even true?
We both made mistakes
Have we learned from them?
Can we ever move past them?
Are these small problems
Have we even changed?
Maybe I don’t want us to change
So we can live out the memories we’ll forget
And replace them with new ones.
But it’ll end the same way.
Is that how it has to end?
Is that why we’re not meant for each other?
Surely we’d be together if we were?
What’s stopping us?
Us.
I just want to message you
To know how you’re doing
I don’t want to make the wrong impression
Like I’m desperate to have back
The way you made me feel
Despite the fact I am.
I’m still happy to just
Know how you’re doing
Copyright © Kameron Bramble | Year Posted 2023
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Details |
Kameron Bramble Poem
It’s 5 in the morning and all I can think about is you.
I go through your Instagram.
Those aesthetic accounts you follow.
Meaningless quotes of misunderstood media.
Made by teenage girls with nothing better to do.
But I look out for the ones
Liked by you.
Are they about me?
You never had a thing for subtlety.
But I’m such a long lost memory to you.
Have you forgotten about me?
I lost all your messages.
All our messages.
I can’t read through them again.
Feel what I felt.
When I believed them to be true.
We’re so different
Yet we fit so well.
I was yours.
You reminded me of that.
It broke your heart
To know I wasn’t perfect.
I couldn’t be what you wanted.
You were so pessimistic
I blamed it on your trauma.
The songs you sent me were so sad.
I wanted to make you happy
To be your happiness.
But you wouldn’t let me.
I felt so helpless.
Now I only listen to songs that make me cry.
I didn’t even know them when I knew you.
But there’s that connection somewhere.
In the lyrics maybe
Or just how they sound.
They remind me of us.
We ended at such an awful time.
I closed in on myself.
Talked to fewer people.
Felt like I lost a part of myself.
All I had left was lust
And that got me nowhere.
I left my love with you.
You were never into films back then.
I bet we’d watch them all now.
Matching our lives to theirs.
We found each other
In the end.
Will we?
It’s been nearly 4 years.
You’re probably a completely different person.
Not the same person that was so obsessed with me.
Maybe you worked on yourself.
Worked past the insecurities that I tried to help you through.
I hope you’re happier now
But I wonder if you’d be happier with me.
Why did you end it that day
On the phone
Crying for hours.
I wanted to believe what you said.
I couldn’t sleep.
I never picked up my jumper
I never saw you again.
All I have is screenshots.
Walking the dog
Prom
Friends’ parties
The Harry Potter studios.
Copies of memories I will never relive
Never know how much these moments mean to me
Until it’s gone.
I think about texting you every day.
I’d like to think you’d want me to.
I hope you would respond.
Maybe we’ll meet again.
Somewhere.
Will we recognise each other?
Will we even acknowledge each other?
Will you ignore me?
Will I confess my love to you?
Nothing feels real without you.
Like I’m just playing out a scene.
We weren’t perfect.
But nothing is.
Our love was natural
Naturally imperfect.
Copyright © Kameron Bramble | Year Posted 2023
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Details |
Kameron Bramble Poem
Yearning for love at a young age
Left both of us exploited and desperate
To fit the missing piece we had within us.
I wish I could be alone
To sustain myself without you.
But I wish for your touch more.
Your soft lips
Your weird perfume
Your knotty hair
Your adorable smile
Your sweet voice
Your love for me
The way you loved me
I’ve never felt that since.
I want the feeling you gave me.
To save you from losing to yourself.
Do you even think about me?
You must be thinking about one of your exes?
Was I even the most memorable one?
What really set me apart from the rest?
I see you in everyone I’ve been with since.
It’s not a look
It’s not a type
It’s not something that can be described.
They just feel like different versions of you.
Maybe they’re better than you.
They could help me in ways you can’t
They might be more stable than you.
But they’re not you
Not the person I’ve left my love with.
I felt this same way about the girl before you
When I was with you.
I told you this at first
I told you I grew out of it.
But I only moved on from her
Once you moved on from me
I didn’t appreciate the time you gave to me
The love you had for me.
All I can do is look back
And see what I did wrong.
Am I a better person now?
Will I not make the same mistake?
Do I even want to be with you?
Or do I just want to see you again?
To know that you exist.
That we could still get along.
I could be honest with you
Tell you how I feel
I don’t expect you to care
But I know you’ll listen.
I can’t stop caring about you
I can’t help it.
I hope that you still care about me.
In some ways we weren’t right for each other.
Not just imperfect
Both of us had our toxic moments.
Have we moved past that?
Can we be happy now?
Or is it not worth the risk
Of the hurt we’ve felt for so long
We can be friends
But I need to be honest with you.
You may be a completely different person now
But I still
And will always
Care about you.
It doesn’t have to be romantic.
I guess I just want you in my life.
I want you to be more to me
Than just a memory.
I want to know who you are now
Know how you’ve changed
For better or for worse.
Made decisions for yourself.
Done what you want.
To become the person that you want to be.
I want to know who you want to be
What you want to do
Your aspirations
Your goals
The image in your head of your ideal life.
I don’t have to be involved.
Copyright © Kameron Bramble | Year Posted 2023
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