Monologue About Her: Part Two of Four

Yearning for love at a young age Left both of us exploited and desperate To fit the missing piece we had within us. I wish I could be alone To sustain myself without you. But I wish for your touch more. Your soft lips Your weird perfume Your knotty hair Your adorable smile Your sweet voice Your love for me The way you loved me I’ve never felt that since. I want the feeling you gave me. To save you from losing to yourself. Do you even think about me? You must be thinking about one of your exes? Was I even the most memorable one? What really set me apart from the rest? I see you in everyone I’ve been with since. It’s not a look It’s not a type It’s not something that can be described. They just feel like different versions of you. Maybe they’re better than you. They could help me in ways you can’t They might be more stable than you. But they’re not you Not the person I’ve left my love with. I felt this same way about the girl before you When I was with you. I told you this at first I told you I grew out of it. But I only moved on from her Once you moved on from me I didn’t appreciate the time you gave to me The love you had for me. All I can do is look back And see what I did wrong. Am I a better person now? Will I not make the same mistake? Do I even want to be with you? Or do I just want to see you again? To know that you exist. That we could still get along. I could be honest with you Tell you how I feel I don’t expect you to care But I know you’ll listen. I can’t stop caring about you I can’t help it. I hope that you still care about me. In some ways we weren’t right for each other. Not just imperfect Both of us had our toxic moments. Have we moved past that? Can we be happy now? Or is it not worth the risk Of the hurt we’ve felt for so long We can be friends But I need to be honest with you. You may be a completely different person now But I still And will always Care about you. It doesn’t have to be romantic. I guess I just want you in my life. I want you to be more to me Than just a memory. I want to know who you are now Know how you’ve changed For better or for worse. Made decisions for yourself. Done what you want. To become the person that you want to be. I want to know who you want to be What you want to do Your aspirations Your goals The image in your head of your ideal life. I don’t have to be involved.