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Nad Simon Poem
She looked at him concerned
"Oh my God, we forgot the buns!"
A barbeque happening
Guests arriving
Coals flaming
Food prepared
But nothing to put burgers on
For their housewarming
Hasty instructions and some cash
From his Lover and her roomies
Then he starts to haul ass
To the convenience store
He hustles there on foot
Thinking about his Lover
She is overly annoyed at herself
For her little slip
She rarely misses things like this
She's cute when she's flustered
He'd have the guests just use bread
She looked at him like he was crazy
When he said that
She is like rhyming poetry
With rhythym and meter
He admires the way she thinks but
Would not want to be her
He is free verse
Rhyming here and there
Streams of consciousness
Coalesced in a young man
Whose barely more than a boy
He's a year and a half older
But he knows he's really five years younger
Than his Lover
And that's alright with him
He jogs up the street
Thinking of her dusky face
Her shining dark eyes
So beautiful. So cool
So is she
Tough
Everything put together
Everything in the right place
He frowns when he thinks
Of the tensions that he feels
She has started acting disappointed
At the way that he freewheels
She expects him just to get things
Going on in her brain
To remember little occasions
Without anything being said
But that all kinda goes over his head
He's working on it and getting better
In fact he has a plan
Their anniversary is a few months away
And he thinks he can impress her then
He's got a good job lined up
Good tips and pay for a school job
A new house with friends
Peanuts for rent
He'll work full time all summer
Saving up while she's away
Pay his tuition down
Set aside his rent
And then take her out extravagant
For their anniversary
The way she deserves
The way he always wants to
Take a light classload in the fall
Study a little harder, work a little more
Clear some bills
Have a little more for her
Not be a mooch all the time
He can plan too, he thinks smugly
Jesus! It's been like ten months!
He's never been with a girl so long
And the last nine of them
He hasn't touched another
Since he and his Lover became intimate
Not one, not a kiss
Well, he did smooch that girl at Christmas
Okay...one kiss...Okay...maybe two
And maybe a tiny bit more than a kiss
With one of them
But that was while she was away
Plus that was like the couple days after she left
They didn't count, nothing really happened
Emotional insurance, a little armor
Since she wanted a "break"
Then he pined for his Lover for five weeks
Seeing her for a couple days at New Years
Not even close to touching anyone since
He is really kind of proud of that
Worried he had his father's faults
....No his Pops is a painful thought
He pushes it down and walls it off
Child of divorce
Happiness requires defense mechanisms...
He has been a good boyfriend
Most of the time
As far as he can see
And it bothers him when he thinks
"She's always kinda pissed at me"
They are relying on their physical connection
To get them over some humps
But he is okay with that somewhat
That is just a part of love
His mom doesn't love him only because
He is smart, fun, and handsome
(Maybe a little less than he thinks he is)
Mom loves him too
For biology's due
And if physical love and hormones
Help him and his Lover
That is okay too
The 7-11 is just ahead
He stops jogging and starts to walk
Taking a little time
With these knots in his thoughts
He worries about this summer
Worries about fidelity
When his Lover goes away
For her vacation
She did what she did at Christmas
Insisting they take another "break"
He doesn't want to do that
But she was firm in it
That bothers him because
She is still putting him through his paces
All the time
Usually multiple times per day
No dropoff. No boredom.
How does that happen?
He really couldn't cheat on her
Without smelling salts and Gatorade
He laughs out loud at the thought
Smiling as he thinks how her body moves
Her smell, and the sounds she makes
Her eyes and musical voice
The way she tickles his chest hair
And her ri-dumb-donkulous pet name for him
She's so freaking cute!
To be honest he couldn't cheat
Because he simply doesn't want to
Doesn't need to
And he's proud of that
He's NOT his dad
But then she says she wants to take a break
What the f*** does that mean?!
"Go ahead, have fun?"
"Don't do anything because this is a test?"
"You better do something, 'cause I sure will?"
"I'm gonna break your f***ing heart, Poor Boy!"
Ugh!
Six weeks is a long time to feel uncertain
And she seems to expect him to know!
No communication...
She's always keeping him at arms length
Never even asks to go see his mom
Though she is just across the river
Two subway stops away
They go watch movies five blocks
From his Mom's house
His Lover never met his other family
Nephews, sister, cousins
Who all live locally
She never asked to
(He smiles at a couple of
Cute girls walking by in workout gear
One of them smiles back!
She's a pretty one. Nice caboose.
He hums quietly to himself for a second
A song his Dad taught him)
His Lover does things with her
Culural/political organizations nearby
Never invites him to anything
Is she ashamed of him?
Wants to tell him she loves him everyday
Roll in all kinds of hay
But holding him away
Because of her culture?
Because she's rich and he grew up poor?
Nah, that can't be it
Can't be. This is real. No way. Not her.
She says she loves him every day.
No way. She loves him.
He'll invite her more.
That's it.
Buns and party supplies in hand
He starts to jog back to her new house
Troubling thoughts slip away
As they always do for him
He is a happy kid
Plus he'll get to see her again in a minute
And they were kissing in her little kitchen
Pressing to him
Whispered promises of desire in his ear
Man he loves that girl!
Almost there and realizes
He forgot something
Shoot! She'll be disappointed!
He turns and runs back to the store
Not jogging
Shopping bags flying
Nearly hit by two cars
Pelting
Out of breath, he arrives
The clerk looks at him funny
"Hey, Dude," says the Lover, gasping
"Do you know what a 'Skor' bar is?"
Copyright © Nad Simon | Year Posted 2020
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Nad Simon Poem
I met my wife at the very end of college. About 24 years ago.
She is still smokin' hot beautiful...
_________________________
When you hold my hand
I cannot even stand
How I feel so grand
Look at you, Baby
You make me hazy
I'm not feeling lazy
How in the wide world
After so many years
Such laughter and tears
My drive's still so strong
And it's just so wrong
You still draw my leers
As you have for years
Like a college girl
Your healing hot touch
Is still just too much
For verses and such
This look in my eyes
You will not disguise
Your passionate cries
Time supposedly softens
The lust of a man
For the woman at hand
And so he should seek
A side-lover's cheek
But instead in my plan
You'll know I'm your man
'Till I'm in my coffin
Your body is mine
To make your heart shine
All of the time
I'll see you tonight
You will know I'm right
Once you're in my sight
Copyright © Nad Simon | Year Posted 2020
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Nad Simon Poem
_______
Well now this is sad and tragic
For both of us to hear
You and I at cross purposes
Ever our fate, my Dear
I just found your correspondence
Last letter that you sent
It was, I think, the final time
That you called me a friend
It was in a pile of papers
From my old mother’s house
With other cards and notes you gave
Back when we were devout
I will use these words to explain
In a way you’ll never see
That this miscommunication
Gave a wrong view of me
You sent it at a year or so
After we were finished
Within its words I sense your hope
Love not yet diminished
I think you may have mentioned it
After you came back home
When I once tried to talk but you
Walked by and wouldn't slow
A mutual friend spoke of it
Some two decades ago
And I was mystified because
I simply didn’t know
I didn’t recall the letter
Forgotten its receipt
But when I found and read its words
I recalled its described deeds
Your letter was at my mother’s
‘Cause I was hurt so bad
Surgery and medications
With healing to be had
Received it at my college house
Held tight in my clutches
I tore open with alacrity
Falling from my crutches
I read part of your note that day
Stuck it in my duffel
Packed your other notes and cards
Then off to hospital
Brought it with your other writings
To give me some comfort
As I would just be sitting long
'Til I was recovered
And after the operation
Sitting up late at night
Unable to sleep sound because
Meds made my heartbeat slight
I recall being sad one eve
In Mother's modest home
Watching her little poor TV
Reviewing your slim tomes
In your letter, amazing lands!
And magical far places!
And one hundred mile per hour
Motorcycle chases!
Such experiences you had all
Through Europe’s bevelled plains!
But I in healing poverty
Felt sore lament and pain
I could not join you there, at least
Not for several years
Did you even want me to try?
You couldn’t know that fear
Your family was very wealthy
It’s hard for you to see
The lowly circumstances
That were the start of me
You never knew how bad it felt
My inadequacy
To give you that magnificence
That you deserved to be
Poor upbringing was no problem
For your generous heart
You never held it against me
Never pushed us apart
But it caused misunderstandings
From worlds so different
And my worries about it too
Increased how much it meant
Your year away almost over
You soon were coming back
I was thinking about renewal
And fixing what I lacked
I read your letter ‘til I saw
Your plans a year away
When you said with hopefulness
You might move there to stay
That is on the note's second page
I never read page three
‘Cause that's the point I thought I knew
That you were lost to me
That line tore open scars I'd grown
To cover up my thought
In saddened anger when you said
Long plans were all for naught
This point had always burned and caused
Lost confident self-worth
I feared you'd put me to the side
For accidents of birth
But if I'd read a bit further
For a lover's redress
Was hid a slight request you made
In false casualness
You sought a call for an event
Bare affection from me
The letter asked for that small sign
Of simple courtesy
The call never came to you on
Your twenty-first birthday
I can see your astonishment
At disregard that way
How could a boy you had loved so
Selflessly and so much
Avoid that solitary act
And chance to keep in touch?
You were badly hurt thereafter
There was no getting through
Your broken heart gave a verdict
And that's when I lost you
My Precious Girl, I’d have called you
There’s no way I wouldn’t
Healing slow on a pleather couch
There's no way I couldn't
Like truth serum the meds would have
Sucked away all my fight
I’d have called you...so so quickly
I’d have called you...ev’ry night
I used to wish for your number
I was so ready too
I’d been pondering what we’d had
And I still wanted you
It’s a tragedy in our lives
As that was your last sign
Of my lack of real love for you
And fickle boyish mind
It rankles so much in me now
Since that's not how it was
It’s just one of those fateful things
God’s little joke on us
A Happy Belated Birthday
For now and all your life
I wish you joyous contentment
And love that’s free from strife
But I know something deeply in
My bones and in my soul
I know I would have called you if
I’d read your letter full
And I’d have wished you way back then
A Happy Birthday too
And I’d have told you on that call
How much I still loved you
Copyright © Nad Simon | Year Posted 2020
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Nad Simon Poem
I failed at love once long ago
When I was a young man
In my soul and bones I know
I will never fail Love again
There will never be my selfishness
Or lack of consideration
I will not be so very helpless
In the face of provocation
I will always keep things playful
Affection I will display
I will never be unfaithful
I will never ever stray
Steadiness and rationality
No silly overreactions
Will henceforth define for me
The course of loving actions
I will still maintain my passion
I will accentuate desire
I will always seek to set ablaze
My woman's heart with fire
But I won't ever let anger burn
A relationship out again
If it must take a downward turn
I will remain a loving friend
Always always...always...be her friend
Copyright © Nad Simon | Year Posted 2020
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Nad Simon Poem
Out with his boys drinking, feeling rowdy
Special occasion
Rolling the way they do
His lover is not with them
She stayed in for the night
He misses her company
But enjoys his time with the guys
He'll swing by later
A local city bar
Not anything special
Just talking trash like they talk
Cheap drinks
Fun
The talk turns to girls and sex
As it always does for young men
Or old men
They talk about their girlfriends
Or booty calls
Joking
Borderline disrespectful
The girls would think
Nothing borderline about it
A guy the Lover doesn't know
Taps him on the shoulder
"What's up, Man?" he says
The guy says something about
Knowing his Lover
Compliments her
Goes back to his boys
The Lover hears laughter
Suddenly this clown starts talking sh!t
about the Lover's girl
With his boys
A few feet away the Lover hears it
How this guy stayed at her house
Was hooking up with her
The Lover knows the guy is full of it
He recognizes this guy now
The Lover came over that night
This dude was luggage
Passed out on the couch
Friend of his Lover's roommates
But...
She had acted odd that night
Distant...nervous...not herself
Ditched her Lover at a bar
When he couldn't get in
Went and sat out on the front stoop
Taking deep breaths
When the Lover arrived
Out of sorts
Said she was drunk and feeling sick
He had always kinda thought if he
Hadn't called and said he was
On his way over
Something may have been about to happen
...May have been happening?
A friend told him he'd seen the Lover's girl
Acting out a bit that night
But that friend had always had the hots
For his Lover
And he didn't believe him
She had encouraged the disbelief
A few weeks later
The Lover saw this douchebag
With his fake muscles
Slicked hair
Grating accent
Two hundred dollar shirt
Three hundred dollar shoes
Trying to hug his Lover
She fended him off
Laughing too loud
Pretending too hard it was a joke
And did not bite off his head
Like her Lover expected her to
Uncharacteristic
She's a poor liar
Too honest
Wears everything on her face
She's been staying in a lot lately
Avoiding this dude?
The last few weeks
Avoiding discovery?
Nobody that smart studies that much...
Had he been freaking blind?
Feeling like the world's classic young fool
Anger boils
Red vision
His friends see his face
They know the look
The Lover is not particularly fit
Or the biggest guy
But he is a combination
Bigger, stronger
and faster than average
Naturally athletic
He grew up poor
One of the only white kids
In a bad bad southern neighborhood
The other white kids all immigrants
The rest all Black or Spanish
Hookers on the stroll
Crime
Lots of street fights
He got his respect coming up
He knows how to handle himself
And he has learned these college boys
Northeastern rich kids
From soft towns and soft lives
Trying to sound tough
With fake mafia accents
These boys don't fight
Unless they have a group
If you knock them down quick
Their friends don't jump in
And just look surprised as hell
They melt like wet paper plates
When they feel the hands
Of a poor redneck
With an Irish temper
The boy talking sh*t
Melts
__________________________
The Lover feels something turn in him
Tonight, she's just his girlfriend
Not his Lover
He's just a boyfriend
Nothing serious
He and the boys have to go
To a different bar
After that
Have a blast
Now he can also talk smack
About kickin' ass
The boyfriend eventually goes
Back to his house
Not to her house
After a detour
He doesn't call her
He almost calls one of the girls
Whose phone numbers he got tonight
But he throws the scraps away
Barely
Maybe nothing happened
Like his girlfriend said
One invited him up to her apartment
After asking him to walk her home
He hopes nobody saw them
And what they did in the lobby of her building
Or maybe he hopes someone did
He'd almost gone up
But instead he went to his house
And he doesn't go back
Barely
Maybe it was innocent
A pushy drunk dude
A friend of her roomates
Like she said
His girlfriend calls a couple times
She's wondering where he is
He rubs sore knuckles
Before he passes out
He doesn't answer
Hopefully things turn back in the morning
What a crappy twenty-first birthday...
Copyright © Nad Simon | Year Posted 2020
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Nad Simon Poem
those friends I have known
I can't tell you anything
you're still my brothers
Copyright © Nad Simon | Year Posted 2020
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Nad Simon Poem
He is looking at her a bit sanctimoniously
He is about to mansplain again
"Am I spooking you?" he asks grinning
"I'm not trying to propose, Cutie.
God no. Could you imagine?
I just think it's possible, you know?
I'm just saying I can see a path?"
Is this kid joking?
He's a mess!
Sure he is smart and can be charming
when he is not being irritating
But it's like her parents said
This is not really long-term
This should just be fun
Because he acts like a fifteen-year-old
half the time
"I just always thought of us
as college sweethearts" she says
"You're my college boyfriend.
Why does it need to be more than that?"
He looks at her funny.
Uh oh.
She bruised his tender ego.
Ugh.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asks
He's starting to lose his temper
but trying not to. He tries to joke.
"I'm a carton of milk?
Am I getting past my expiration date?"
She giggles, and says, "No no.
You know what I mean, Silly"
"So what?" he asks with mock chagrin,
"You gonna dump me when I graduate?
...that's in, like, seven months...
...well, it would be..."
-No it won't be because you're irresponsible
and you'll be in school an extra year
'cause you screwed around too much-
she thinks but doesn't say
"No, no," she says again smiling
"I mean when I graduate..."
She immediately regrets the words
He stands up quickly
"What the f#ck?" he says angrily
"I didn't mean it that way..." she begins
"What? I'm some kinda piece of crap?" he says
his voice rising, interrupting her.
"I'm gone when you're finished slumming?"
"Hey! You jerk! I didn't say that"
she says defensively
Her anger is rising too.
After all the times this kid
mooched off of her in the last thirteen months!
He has the temerity to say that?
As if money matters to her!
"What the hell, man?!"
He plops back down on her couch
arms on his knees
"I was just saying I could see us getting
married someday.
Not today.
Not for years.
But someday. Jeez!"
She is standing by the dining table
in her little townhouse
thinking that this boy is just
too unrealistic to live
To her credit
money and family circumstance
really never does enter the calculation for her
like it does her parents
But there are other things
that are very important to her
She almost says it to him.
Almost says:
- Get marriage right out of your head!
It will never happen-
- Why?- he would ask
-Because you're not *****************
Because you're not ****************
Because you're ******* -
-And then she would shrug at him
when he gets upset
matter-of-factly
To let him know
The sky is blue
And the two of them will NEVER get married
That they will NOT last past school
and those facts are simple truths of the universe-
It would serve him right
The words almost pass her lips
But then she sees his face
And the hurt feelings residing there
It would be too much for him
If she mentioned religion, ethnicity, etc.
or anything like that
He would take it badly
Maybe worse than she imagines
He would act like it was not a big deal
At first
But it would eat at him
gnaw at him
She knows him well enough to know
he couldn't handle that
Even if it is true
At least, she thinks it's true
He would eventually lash out
Maybe in irreparable ways
His temper would get control of him
and his temper was worse when it burned
Slow and cold.
She may have said too much already
She prides herself on being
brutally honest
but decides now is not the time
She comes over and sits on the couch
Puts her hand on his knee, saying
"I'm just saying I don't think it's a good idea
to raise those kind of expectations
to make those kind of plans.
We're too young"
"I know THAT," he says
She slides next to him while he speaks
and puts a leg over his
"I was just saying that there...
could be...a path"
His eyes get a little bigger as his breath catches
He's already distracted from his upset
Such a simple boy
"Look, I was just saying..."
She throws her leg over and sits
fully in his lap
Straddling him and pressing against him
Her hands clasped behind his neck
He stops talking
and his fingers find their favorite place
on her behind
"You're distracting me," he complains
but he doesn't try to move
"Yep," she says, and shrugs
"I thought I was supposed to tell you what's up.
I'm the Senior. You're the Sophomore"
She flips her long silky brown hair
over one shoulder
He loves it when she does that
He loves her hair
"But, Sweetie," she coos,
rolling her eyes exagerratedly
"You're the one who's sooo Sophomoric"
"Bad pun," he grumbles. "Dork..."
"Jerk"
She kisses him
He is instantly interested and intense
and so is she
God! He is such a good kisser!
How is it like this for them so easily?
So compatible
In one special, sensual
and beautiful way
But then so difficult
with many other things
She would think again
that her parents were right
But thought escapes her
as her breathing comes faster
She lets out a little squeak
as he picks her up in his strong arms
still holding her bottom
turning and laying her down
onto her back on the couch
His kisses trail down her neck
proceeding lower
his hands fumbling with the button
of her jeans
She feels it pop loose
As her jeans begin to slide off
She smiles
Putting her hands in his soft sandy hair
and only thinks now
of being with him tonight
Copyright © Nad Simon | Year Posted 2020
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Nad Simon Poem
survey the kingdom
alone on a small island
I built it myself
Copyright © Nad Simon | Year Posted 2020
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Nad Simon Poem
shoulders of Atlas
upholding the weight of worlds
sag from recent strain
Copyright © Nad Simon | Year Posted 2020
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Nad Simon Poem
rapprochement desired
many years, many events
hopelessness strengthens
Copyright © Nad Simon | Year Posted 2020
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