Two Lovers Xi - Carefully Chosen Words

He is looking at her a bit sanctimoniously He is about to mansplain again "Am I spooking you?" he asks grinning "I'm not trying to propose, Cutie. God no. Could you imagine? I just think it's possible, you know? I'm just saying I can see a path?" Is this kid joking? He's a mess! Sure he is smart and can be charming when he is not being irritating But it's like her parents said This is not really long-term This should just be fun Because he acts like a fifteen-year-old half the time "I just always thought of us as college sweethearts" she says "You're my college boyfriend. Why does it need to be more than that?" He looks at her funny. Uh oh. She bruised his tender ego. Ugh. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asks He's starting to lose his temper but trying not to. He tries to joke. "I'm a carton of milk? Am I getting past my expiration date?" She giggles, and says, "No no. You know what I mean, Silly" "So what?" he asks with mock chagrin, "You gonna dump me when I graduate? ...that's in, like, seven months... ...well, it would be..." -No it won't be because you're irresponsible and you'll be in school an extra year 'cause you screwed around too much- she thinks but doesn't say "No, no," she says again smiling "I mean when I graduate..." She immediately regrets the words He stands up quickly "What the f#ck?" he says angrily "I didn't mean it that way..." she begins "What? I'm some kinda piece of crap?" he says his voice rising, interrupting her. "I'm gone when you're finished slumming?" "Hey! You jerk! I didn't say that" she says defensively Her anger is rising too. After all the times this kid mooched off of her in the last thirteen months! He has the temerity to say that? As if money matters to her! "What the hell, man?!" He plops back down on her couch arms on his knees "I was just saying I could see us getting married someday. Not today. Not for years. But someday. Jeez!" She is standing by the dining table in her little townhouse thinking that this boy is just too unrealistic to live To her credit money and family circumstance really never does enter the calculation for her like it does her parents But there are other things that are very important to her She almost says it to him. Almost says: - Get marriage right out of your head! It will never happen- - Why?- he would ask -Because you're not ***************** Because you're not **************** Because you're ******* - -And then she would shrug at him when he gets upset matter-of-factly To let him know The sky is blue And the two of them will NEVER get married That they will NOT last past school and those facts are simple truths of the universe- It would serve him right The words almost pass her lips But then she sees his face And the hurt feelings residing there It would be too much for him If she mentioned religion, ethnicity, etc. or anything like that He would take it badly Maybe worse than she imagines He would act like it was not a big deal At first But it would eat at him gnaw at him She knows him well enough to know he couldn't handle that Even if it is true At least, she thinks it's true He would eventually lash out Maybe in irreparable ways His temper would get control of him and his temper was worse when it burned Slow and cold. She may have said too much already She prides herself on being brutally honest but decides now is not the time She comes over and sits on the couch Puts her hand on his knee, saying "I'm just saying I don't think it's a good idea to raise those kind of expectations to make those kind of plans. We're too young" "I know THAT," he says She slides next to him while he speaks and puts a leg over his "I was just saying that there... could be...a path" His eyes get a little bigger as his breath catches He's already distracted from his upset Such a simple boy "Look, I was just saying..." She throws her leg over and sits fully in his lap Straddling him and pressing against him Her hands clasped behind his neck He stops talking and his fingers find their favorite place on her behind "You're distracting me," he complains but he doesn't try to move "Yep," she says, and shrugs "I thought I was supposed to tell you what's up. I'm the Senior. You're the Sophomore" She flips her long silky brown hair over one shoulder He loves it when she does that He loves her hair "But, Sweetie," she coos, rolling her eyes exagerratedly "You're the one who's sooo Sophomoric" "Bad pun," he grumbles. "Dork..." "Jerk" She kisses him He is instantly interested and intense and so is she God! He is such a good kisser! How is it like this for them so easily? So compatible In one special, sensual and beautiful way But then so difficult with many other things She would think again that her parents were right But thought escapes her as her breathing comes faster She lets out a little squeak as he picks her up in his strong arms still holding her bottom turning and laying her down onto her back on the couch His kisses trail down her neck proceeding lower his hands fumbling with the button of her jeans She feels it pop loose As her jeans begin to slide off She smiles Putting her hands in his soft sandy hair and only thinks now of being with him tonight