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Best Poems Written by Chris Wiggins

Below are the all-time best Chris Wiggins poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Chris Wiggins Poem

Two Words

I heard a voice across the road
A girl from class I hardly knew
Not just “Hello”
But “Hello Chris”
Two words where maybe
Just one would do

It was Joy Pepper
Smoky grey eyes
And a smile so warm I’m sure
That it could melt the snow

Did I speak or just stand there
I’m not sure even to this day
Maybe I just mumbled something
Before I rode my bike away
 


What  had made Joy want to speak to me
That Sunday afternoon in May of sixty four
When she had only done so just once or twice before
“Hello Chris” she said
Two words where maybe one would do

I remembered in class on Friday
She had quickly glanced my way
Then turned to Linda Dawson
Whispered a secret they shared
They both laughed softly
 Perhaps some small sign that showed she cared

I could hardly wait till Monday
I would speak to Joy in break
Pluck up the courage to say
“Can I walk you home from school”
“And carry your books if I may?”

I didn’t sleep that Sunday night
Thinking of Joy Pepper
Smoky grey eyes 
And a smile so warm
It could melt the snow
“Hello Chris” she’d said
Two words where only one would do

Monday finally arrived
In class and waiting for the teacher
I glanced across and saw Joy’s  desk
And an empty chair
Joy Pepper wasn’t there
 


She must be sick just for today
But then Linda Dawson looked at me
And just as quickly looked away
But not before I saw the tears
She tried to brush away


The teacher reading from his list
The slightest pause as he reached her name
But moving past as if Joy Pepper
No longer did exist


I stayed behind after class
I had to know where Joy Pepper was
Had she gone for good?
Linda knew but wouldn’t say
Perhaps Mr Holman would
 


“Chris” he said “You have to know”
“Joy Pepper  has moved today”
“Promotion for her father down in Somerset the family say”
Back then I didn’t even know where Somerset was
Just that it was far away

So where are you now Joy Pepper?
Married to a farmer’s boy perhaps
Tending apple orchards in the sun
Remembering the day you said “Hello Chris”
Two words instead of one

Are you happy now Joy Pepper?
With your eyes of smoky grey
And do you ever think of me
With a smile to melt the snow?
“Hello Chris” I heard you say
Two words instead of one

Joy Pepper with your eyes of smoky grey
And a smile to melt the snow
Would we have had a future
I guess I’ll never know
Sad because we never shared a kiss
But happy for just those two words
A simple “Hello Chris”

Details | Chris Wiggins Poem

Perform a U - Turn

It should be really easy
To get to Grantham right on time
Unless, that is, your Sat Nav
Is as troublesome as mine

I have the postcode ready
And I’m sure I’ve got it right
But my Sat Nav seems to be convinced
It’s on The Isle of Wight!

Now I quite like the main roads
Seeing signs along the way
But my Sat Nav has a cunning plan
To get me there today

It wants for some strange reason
To have a different point of view
To take me on the scenic route
Where there’s no traffic queue
 
Now I don’t like a line of cars
Through miles of motorway
Though it’s better than the  pot holed roads
My Sat Nav thinks I might prefer today

I decided to ignore it
When 50 miles had gone
Big mistake on my part
Cos I’d left the dammed thing on

“Where do you think you’re going?”
It’s tinny voice did say
“You must perform a U Turn”
“Or I’ll find a different way”

I don’t listen to it blindly
And now I’ve got myself a map
So I can get to Grantham
In time to take a nap

Details | Chris Wiggins Poem

Saturday Night

It’s Saturday Night
And I’ve got my tea
A Chinese meal
With some Pinot Gee

The TV’s on 
It’s nearly time
With some chicken chow mein
And a glass of wine

It’s Saturday Night
Gonna watch the show
The girl with the vibe
And with the flow

You know that I’m talkin’
‘bout Honey Gee
Gonna vote for her
She’s the one for me
She’s tearin’ it up
She’s shuttin’ it down
Ain’t never gonna see her
In a gown

With a tracksuit
And a baseball cap
The girl can’t sing
But she sure can rap

Just like a poet
She makes it rhyme
And it all goes together
Like lemon and lime

With an H to the O
To the N – E – Y
This girl is good
She’s gonna reach the sky

Glasses dark
With all the bling
And I don’t care
That she can’t sing

Better acts
The’ve all gone
Could Honey win
Without singing a song

Download the app
You can vote for free
Just click the button
For Honey Gee

When I say Honey
You say Gee
She might just win
Let’s wait and see

Details | Chris Wiggins Poem

82

At home I have an HD box
Perhaps you’ve got one too
The problem is my planner
Has now reached eighty two

It’s full of all the episodes
Of shows I like to see
All provided by those folks at Sky
For a hefty monthly fee

For “Game of Thrones” it’s nine or ten
“The Walking Dead” just two
And “Wayward Pines” I think it’s six
Lined up for me to view

I set record this evening
“Robot Wars” and “Dragons Den”
And that figure that I gave you
Well it’s just increased by ten

I’m really rather worried
It’s never got that high
Should I start deleting stuff
Or seek advice from Sky

I’m really in a panic
Only eight percent to go
Will the hard drive start erasing
Disappearing show by show

Tomorrow I’ll rise early
At six o’clock I think
No time to do the washing up
I’ve left the dishes in the sink

I’ll switch on my television
And choose some shows to view
I’ve got to get my planner down
Back down to eighty two

Details | Chris Wiggins Poem

Im On the Bus

I was on the way to Hornsea
The time was half past three
One young lad got on the bus
And sat down next to me

His mobile was a Samsung
Or maybe an LG
In truth I’m not that certain
 I don’t do technology

He sat there for a while
Playing with his phone
I just knew before it happened
I’d hear a loud ring tone

And sure enough it wasn’t long
Before there was a call
Mum was on the other end
She was going up the wall

He had the phone on speaker
And this was what was said
“Where are you?” “if you’re not home soon 
You’ll likely not get fed”

“I’m on the bus” he said quite surly
“I’m not coming home for tea”
“I’m meeting up with Claire and Steve”
“We’re going to KFC”

“But what about your homework”
“Tomorrow you’ve got school”
“And if you do not get it done”
“That won’t be very cool”

“I’m on the bus” he said once more
Making everybody stare
He had to get his point across
He really didn’t care
He’d said in once. He said it twice
He couldn’t be more clear
But this time round he said it loud
For everyone to hear

“Mum. I’m not sure that you’re listening”
“You really make a fuss”
“This is the third time I have told you”
“I am on the bus!”

Details | Chris Wiggins Poem

Room 101

There’s a show that’s on the telly
Frank Skinner is the host
And the guests he has they talk about
What winds them up the most

In a novel by George Orwell
Called nineteen eighty four
People get to face their fears
Behind a dark mysterious door

The number one that on my list
I’m sure you will agree
Cold callers that seem to know
When you’re watching your TV
 
Or early in the morning
While you are still in bed
So it was for me one Friday
And this was what was said

The first words that were spoken
“How are you today?”
“To tell the truth until you rang”
“I was pretty much OK”

But since you’ve asked me so politely
About my physical or mental state
I will tell you what my week’s been like
Why you’ve called will have to wait
 
Monday started badly
And maybe you don’t care
But my car’s brakes, suspension and exhaust
Were costly to repair

Tuesday wasn’t any better
I had no milk in the fridge
And to make things worse that evening
I played terrible at bridge

Wednesday was a nightmare
My printer’s out of ink
And the white shirt that I put in the wash
Has turned a ghastly shade of pink
 
Yesterday was better
But before I went to bed
I thought I’d recorded Masterchef
But got Emmerdale instead

So now I guess it’s your turn
And now I’m wondering why
If you’re calling me to check
If I’ve had PPI

“Well no” he said “It isn’t that” 
“I’ll call back later if I can”
“This doesn’t seem the best time to discuss
“Our affordable funeral plan”

Details | Chris Wiggins Poem

Are You Alright There

For anyone who knows me
They know whose shirts I buy
Have you noticed what  I’m wearing
That brand is Superdry

Their shirts I have aplenty
And T shirts quite a few
I even have their pants and socks
Oh and a rucksack too!

As you can tell I am a fan
I like them such a lot
So much so that they call me
When they are out of stock

I walked in there last Friday
I was standing  by the door
I had chosen a new T shirt
And wanted just one more

I stood there for a moment 
Deciding what to do
Should I have that green one?
Or maybe one in blue?

A young assistant then approached saying
“Are You Alright There?”
And I almost did reply
“As opposed to..where?”

In fact I knew for certain
Where exactly I should be
I would have gone to Tesco’s 
If I wanted bread or tea.

Maybe perhaps in Sports Direct
To purchase a new racquet
And not in Superdry at all
Whose shirts they cost a packet

Nonetheless I love their stuff
I have money, I can pay
I even have a voucher
That I will use today


So If you’re working in that store
Don’ t use those words again
Please just let me browse in peace
For a shirt that’s check....or plain