Enough with the limericks tonight
Like a ven’rable poet I need write
Simile, metaphor
Imagery… O what for?
Gimme howls ‘n yuks ~ verses with a bite
Categories:
yuks, humor, irony, poetry,
Form: Limerick
You must be careful if you really don't know
Where you're going cuz you might miss the show
You paid big bucks
At famous YukYuks
Laughed so hard, peed your panties, hope it don't snow
Categories:
yuks, humor,
Form: Limerick
Mike was ridin' shotgun
I was sittin' on the hump
Ledford's got the steering wheel
There's the devil in our trunk
Drivin' up to Sherkston
For a day of sun an' fun
Doin' ninety miles an hour
That's how Jerry liked to 'run'
Headin' towards bikini beach
On a road called Thunder Bay
Flying by the local yuks
And laughin' all the way
Glove box stuffed with Genny Cream
Women filled our head
Passin' blind on narrow roads
Lucky we're not dead
Jerry pulls out left again
To pass this lumberin' truck
But there's a 'semi' comin' up ahead
I think we need some luck
Jerry's wearin' a devil grin
Gas pedal's on the floor
I'm just hangin' on for life
As we hear that big truck roar
In just a half a heartbeat
that Ford swerves to the right
Jerry's grinnin' ear to ear
Mike pees his pants from fright
Jerry dives from the high board
A graceful perfect swan
I meet these cool hot chicks 'bout then
While Mike puts clean shorts on
written 2018.10.31
Categories:
yuks, 12th grade, beach, youth,
Form: Quatrain
Warning, if you are under 60 you may not "get" some of these.
Mohammad Ali
taunting with poetry,
his opponents he'd zing
as he danced 'bout the ring.
Graham Kerr "The Galloping Gourmet"
oft with our minds he would play.
Why else would he pick
the dessert "Spotted Dick"?
Ichabod Crane
rode down rode down the lane.
From the Headless Horseman he'd flee
while on his saddle he peed.
Abbot & Costello,
two funny fellows
were very immersed
into whose on first.
Ed Norton
couldn't laugh without snortin'
which would quickly annoy
old Ralph Boy!
Professor Irwin Corey
told confusing stories,
You'd listen and listen till your eyeballs would glisyen
and not understand what you're missin'
Don Rickles
would offer a nose full of nickels
and got plenty of yuks calling you a schmuck
and dumb as a hockey puck.
Giuseppe "Peppino" Mazzullo,
the voice of Topo Gigio
on Ed's final night
said "Eddie, kessa me goo' night!"
Jack Benny
wouldn't lend you a penny
nor spend a dime -
died when he was 80 at the age of 39.
Categories:
yuks, fun,
Form: Clerihew
If you don't want to press your luck
Never iron a four leaf clover, big yuks
It's a giggle each day
Need to find a way
To shoo your troubles and run amok
Categories:
yuks, happiness,
Form: Limerick
Some guys along the freeway exits stand
with cardboard signs that read: Will work for food.
The sympathetic folks reach out and hand
these guys some money if they’re in the mood.
And other poor souls don’t just stand. They live
inside of cardboard shanties that they rig.
Some beg for anything that we might give
and some, too proud to beg, through dumpsters dig.
But there’s one cardboard man dressed like a clown
(who, if he shows his real face, I sure pity),
He waves a sign while jumping up and down
along a busy block of my fair city.
He gets no cash, just strange looks or some yuks.
The sign says: Get our pizza. Just five bucks!
(I know this was supposed to be more serious, but when I
asked hubbie what cardboard man made him think of, he said
that pizza guy on the corner, and I just had to do it this way!!)
For Paula Swanson's Do You Know The Cardboard Man? Poetry Contest
Categories:
yuks, people,
Form: Sonnet