Funny Woman Poems

I used to miss your touch, now your hands feel like claws

I used to melt in your stare, now your eyes come with bristles

I used...

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I am in a hazy headache dreamscape,
a valium fog follows me through my life as if i’ve forgotten to eat. 
I make friends with the...

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there once was a woman named Mimi
she never would wear a bikini
	when she was asked why
	she didn’t blink an eye
said, “I’ve eaten too much linguine!”...

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I cackle and I giggle
I'm a friendly sort of gal
And when I’m quite excited
I'll give a little twirl.

Why would all this be funny
As It's simply...

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Abandon baby cries daily effortlessly for giving hugs,                 ...

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I saw you were perfect..
and I loved your confidence..
but I yearned to feel whole,
So I made a fling...

You saw my ego,
You smiled at my strength,...

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Women over 50 are Invisible
(according to one source)

But…isn’t that a superpower?

Please don’t notice me
wearing the same black leggings
three days in a row
Content to sit on...

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I have a woman.
I’m proud to call her my wife.
Some give theirs’ nicknames, ‘her indoors’ and ‘the trouble and strife’
Now, I have my flaws and...

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Laughter

Contagious, spontaneous...
joy.  
...

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I'm not a Monarchist but I don't hate
The Queen. I lied to her when I was nine
At Finningley it was. We had to wait
For ages...

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Do you ever wish you could be 
another face in the crowd 
that fades from everyone’s memory
blending in like brushstrokes on canvas
catching no one’s attention...

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Cultured, refined, and polished gentlemen?
A thing 
of the past.

Vulgar, brash, and shameless hooligans?
Welcome
to the modern cool.

Elegant, demure, and graceful women?
Controlled, 
imprisoned, and confined.

Immodest, wanton, and...

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On the train that I rode today, 
into town I was on my way. 
You never know what you will see, 
out the window were...

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A special day for you my mother,                  ...

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He tightly sermonized on Harmony,
Neatly anchoring it in More Money:
How none of it unleashes Acrimony
And could crush A Holy Matrimony.
Soon, he alighted on Ceremony
But still...

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