Funny Woman Poems | Examples
These Funny Woman poems are examples of Woman poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Woman Funny poems written by international poets.
Love women for all they do.
Do not kick them around like a used pair of shoes.
Do not discard them when you are done with them, send them on a path of growth and goodness.
Give them love and support and help them grow.
Treat women with love and respect, and give them all your love and support they need.
Love and protect and give them respect.
Women have given birth to nations.
They are your partners for life.
Yes, sometimes we get tricked or deceived, but in our hearts, we truly care, I believe.
Send love around the world by showing love to women.
Lift prayers for all of our amazing women around the world.
Jelly roll
Watch em fall
Sadness of a lost season
No time to reach out and touch a life or a song
Jelly roll
Theres so much a child in you
Things we talk about appear nothing extreme
But although my mind always wants it all
A hang glide in the sky won't happen today
Ill tell you what I hate
You can show me what you...like
There's no other way it can go.. jelly roll
Each day every step
Each day every step
Every step is another Feeling away from paradise
Away from the strongest human desire
Its not chocolate
Not caffeine or cigarettes nor booze
The talent that you sling
Its the kindness of your lips
The unknown treated like king
The wrestle of your hips
The Van morrison thing
melody loops in my mind..... in my brain
She got ...something
about Blue Money and Tupelo Honey
The likened matters
of the magic in music
Songs for sunshine songs for rain People were kids
Chains replaced Innocence reines
Make them young
The cowards and bastards
Make their desperate shadows
Disappear
A room in heaven
A white silver bed
A cherry gold carpet
Windows of perceptive
Air as thick as steel
My love a crush
On my Jelly roll
I love her looks and lovely lips,
The light her sweet smile brings,
And how she speaks and sways her hips--
She flits and floats as if with wings.
Each move she makes means more than I
Can comprehend or contemplate,
And so I’m often baffled by
The meaning of her mysterious gait.
She has a way with words that we
Would want her simply to eschew;
For when we’re ready to agree,
She’ll quickly change her point of view.
A fearless, formidable foe
Who would win any altercation,
She finds the words she needs as though
She was an alliteration.
So silently I sit and sigh,
And just learn to live life sans strife.
For this woman I can’t decry
Is no other than … shush!…my wife.
October 30, 2024
Baguio City, Philippines
there was a softness about the maiden that reminded me of a rose
she was elusive, but it made her somehow tantalizing
refined? yes Elegant? oh, my, yes!
She was holding a rose when I first spied her.
she seemed as subtle and sensitive as the rose
She was an artist's delight; her petals soft and delicate.
what is her name? I asked her mother
Lily, she told me.
I want to call her Rose, I said.
Funny you should say that; her grandmother was named Rose.
The Woman Who Could Eat Wood & Other Stories is a gathering of dark-serious, funny, and emotional poems/stories showing people, hybrids, and objects born different. In their eyes, and to the normal, they’re born useless to the world – weird outsiders who try to make use of themselves with various degrees of success and failure (some die).
" All the funny jokes are a bit smutty" :( ~~ The poet~~
Such a sunny day, yet the lake was mine, not a soul to be seen.
Too good to be true the place to myself quieter than it had ever been.
Leaving my clothes beside a small bush I decided to go for a swim.
But when I came back everything was gone, left only a hat with a torn brim.
No undies no sox not a thing to put on, I had to cover all with that hat.
On the way home, an old woman laughed, “Oh my goodness what is that?“
“Madam if you were a lady you wouldn’t laugh at the predicament I am at"
She replied “ Well if you were a gentleman you would tip your hat !’’
COMPARTMENTALIZATION
Friends, absolutely believe why
not in the “Loony Bin?
Compartmentalized my stresses,
so messes … not get in!
Compartments help me remember,
one illness at a time.
Must do cause, "nine" problems have, not
about to loose ... my mind!
Compartments, real life savers, now
one job at time, tackle.
Improved old age focus, glad
husband … didn't spackle.
Compartmentalize medications
if don't, embarrassed be.
Took water pills, before party,
oops … in “Depend’s” did pee.
Doc’s now compartmentalize, which
body part they'll inspect.
Last visit showed my sagging boobs,
examine ... was for my neck!
Crucial to compartmentalize, must
do each week heard some say.
Might put off till tomorrow, cause
tomorrows ... another day.
July 31, 2023
Contest: compartmentalization
Sponsor: Edward Ibeh
There once was a woman named Fay
who would frighten most men away,
she was grossly fat
and most didn’t like that;
but the ones that did; begged to stay.
(Limerick)
05/14/2023
Funny, Bawdy, or Humorous Limerick
Sponsored by: Tania Kitchin
Rhymezone/HowManySyllables
Woman A and Woman B
Woman A speaks about Woman B
Don’t know what she sees in her husband for the life of me
I run in to the bathroom and meet Woman B
Woman A needs a day off, without delay she says if you ask me.
She is losing it; the funny farm will soon be part of her day.
I bolt as soon as I do my business, no reason to stay.
Best friends after work, A and B leave hand in hand.
I keep my mouth shut, not relishing this kind of quick sand.
I don't see the funny part
Of calling a woman Tart:
What you now plan to restart
And just burn a happy heart
Words of mischief stacked in cart
Had never won Purple Heart
The loosed tongue may around dart
But don't fail to smell like fart
I foresee some tomorrow
Face of repentance borrow;
The hacked heart still in sorrow:
Tina's: tears fill a barrow.
I used to miss your touch, now your hands feel like claws
I used to melt in your stare, now your eyes come with bristles
I used to miss your shag and plaits, now you wear a tail of a horse
I used to miss a natural shape, now your curves are created by a dose
I used to miss your call of my name, now you sound like Americanos and Angles
Tell me if I’m stuck in history, lagging behind as the *****Sapien evolves
I have a woman.
I’m proud to call her my wife.
Some give theirs’ nicknames, ‘her indoors’ and ‘the trouble and strife’
Now, I have my flaws and they are many and vast.
I think like a man, slowly and ‘at last’!
But my wife asks me to hang the washing out in the rain!
Her argument for using the balustrade and radiators to me seems pretty lame!
They dry out too quickly!
They dry out too fast!
So, while it’s overcast and drizzling the wind will still give them a blast!
Now, I have a chunter as I’m stood outside getting my bald head wet! She says that there’s sense in her logic though I can’t see it being approved by Spock from Star Trek!
If they get wet we can give them a spin! Then wait for some sunshine to hang them out again!
The weather app says it’s going to clear up - so that’s what you’ll do. Get out there in the drizzle and hang the washing out you fool.
Cultured, refined, and polished gentlemen?
A thing
of the past.
Vulgar, brash, and shameless hooligans?
Welcome
to the modern cool.
Elegant, demure, and graceful women?
Controlled,
imprisoned, and confined.
Immodest, wanton, and uncouth ratchets?
Empowered,
free, and smart.
Who's hands are you
playing into?
It's funny
how
'feminisim'
and 'empowered women'
is a trick
to further please
male eyes.
Don't be
fooled.
Society is killing
itself.
Wake up,
before -
It's too late.
He tightly sermonized on Harmony,
Neatly anchoring it in More Money:
How none of it unleashes Acrimony
And could crush A Holy Matrimony.
Soon, he alighted on Ceremony
But still built it on More Money:
The Humorless it clothes with The Funny,
A fiesta sweetening like Honey…
A public preacher, then, on More Money,
Now, his listeners fooling with Harmony
Next The Thing titling Ceremony.
More Money Man’s Doubly Assured Harmony,
Even the seeds from Strangled Matrimony,
Keeps tending with Authorized Alimony.
She thinks she is all that my sister and I said.
She was blonde and magnificent. We wished her dead.
She came over to see us and she was funny and kind.
Scratch out those mean thoughts; please never mind.
She became our best friend, and the boys were attracted.
The ones she tossed aside could more easily be retracted.
We saw it was a huge advantage to have her as a friend.
She’s a terrific a boy magnet, whom we never lend.