In summer, I would never hear the call
for dinner. I was having too much fun
when I was at the plate in wiffleball
and hoping I would score the winning run.
I could not hear the voice, "time to go home",
as I dug holes and caught crabs on the beach.
I could only hear the sound of surf and foam,
and tried to catch a wave just out of reach.
As summers did come, so, too, summers went
with beach parties and barbecued weenies.
An excuse for being late, I'd invent
as I dreamed of blondes wearing bikinis.
The summers I knew always came with dreams.
This year, it's to hear Mother's voice, it seems.
Categories:
weenies, memory, summer,
Form: Sonnet
The teeniest human-like robot is six inches tall
Half the length of a standard ruler
she can walk, kick and do pushups
I understand the value of walking
we can watch her walk down the desk
Kicking might come in handy if she meets a mean pencil sharpener
But why would a robot need to do a push up?
Techno weenies amaze me in their odd thinking
Categories:
weenies, technology,
Form: Free verse
LIMERICKS NOT WRITTEN FOR A CONTEST
Men will slobber and drool when at the beach
Cuz bikinied women are out of reach
So eat your hearts out, men
For those girls you will yen
Fine women would consider you a leech
Men are enticed by girls with flat tummies
Though theirs are obese from eating yummies
They can keep dreaming
With beady eyes gleaming
Some of the male gender are such dummies
Men think of untying bikini strings
Of Victoria Secret girls with wings
They'd like to touch their tush
or better yet their.... shush!
Men want to do so many wicked things
Ogling girls clad in skimpy bikinis
Wishing they had three wishes from genies
Each one would be the same
Trying to UP their game
With enlargements for their teeny weenies
Turn about's always considered fair play
Many women would be glad for a lay
With a well muscled stud
Who would heat up her blood
Spendin' a lil time rollin' in the hay
Categories:
weenies, men,
Form: Limerick
Consumed
I remember in poverty,
eating ramen noodles,
daily.
Beans and Weenies.
Meatless sauce
spaghetti.
Rice, Rice, Rice,
without any real
spice.
Bologna Sandwiches.
Hamburger Helper
mixes.
Fried Spam,
and all kinds of meat,
canned.
Hot Dogs on a stick,
burnt to a
crisp.
Catfish from the creek,
yellow belly
meat.
Milwaukee’s Best.
Another broken
promise.
The cheapest smokes.
Always gotta have
those.
Colon cancer, Rectal cancer,
lungs and
brain.
A hole too deep,
at least six
feet.
Same old hole,
no matter where you
grow.
Categories:
weenies, addiction, class, death, depression,
Form: Verse
Some are adventuresome, some are weenies
Mostly I'll try a delicacy of another species
But the head of an animal
Staring at me quite affable
Somehow doesn't appeal like turnips or zucchinis
Categories:
weenies, travel,
Form: Limerick
Neither We Nor Me Will Be Weenies
Neither me nor we but you are the one
And after all my many poems are done
Instead of much suffering from abuse
You can put all my poems to good use.
Several poems may appear in my mind
About things being bad or others kind
Of them all who I do like very most
Are all three, Father, Son and Holy Ghost.
Many things for me each one has done
Help me be saved from sins did God's Son
Sun shines through dew with much moss
Saw Jesus's face when He was on the cross.
Each morning Jesus a new life was bringing
To me and could hear it in all of the singing
Could hear it each time when God called
With message received was completely enthralled.
Then by vivacious Priest sermon was presented
Into our dull minds message he then dented
Of sermons ever heard became the greatest
Can you believe some say I am a poetry sadist.
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
Bolivia, NC
P.S. Dare you to send this poem out to
every person here at St. James.
Categories:
weenies, humorous,
Form: Couplet
What the hey??
I'M TURNING GREY
please be kind
AND LOCK AWAY
Dorito chips and Pringles too
MY GUT REVEALS and so do you!!
Jello gelatin for my waist
ADVENT AGE to embrace
Who can fight these times,today?
UNFLATTERING HIPS prepare the way
Getting to be an ugly guy
OLD AGE wrinkles and THEN WE DIE!
Trying hard to correct my bladder
But instead..
KEEP GETTING FATTER AND FATTER!!
No longer can I reach my toes
It's what I fear
MY ADVANCING WOES!!
Cookies are a favorite treat
Hot Dog Weenies just can't be beat
This old man now ends his rap
Beg your pardon
WHILE I GO TAKE A CRAP!!
Categories:
weenies, funny, age, age,
Form: Free verse