There was a lad from Dublin
So sad he wanted some lovin’
He fell asleep in class
Woke up to deep laughs
His wanker tall hot as an oven
Categories:
wanker, 12th grade, color, deep,
Form: Limerick
Booted
The boss was a real ing wanker who abused his position
Now he’s got the golden boot and is no longer there
But he goes to the company cark park to see his lieutenant
Who is just the same as him an equal seller more arrogant!
The original boss was quite a nice guy not a bastard
It was his elite selling unit he set up that stunk of elitism
You’re not ing fighter pilots so why the fake Godliness
It all stinks of bull and **** licking all the way
Tong that far up the butt it comes outa their damn mouth
Who will fill the original boss’ boots will it be his lieutenant?
Who went to the same skool and was trained the same way
Instructions and orders are sent via messenger do this and that
Keep at it run the account my way this way I’m still there
My influence is like Uncle Joe Stalin always present and seeing
Give them Hell drove them to break to leave hire and fire ‘em
Still give me some wanga it’s my account even if I’m booted
Categories:
wanker, abuse, feelings, humor, mental
Form: Verse
Star Sprayer
Twinkler
Sprinkler
Cleaning Freak
Hyper
Wiper
Flautist Pickpocket
Piper
Swiper
Complaining Hitman
Griper
Sniper
Test for Savant Autism
Rain Man
Brain Scan
Not Heard in France
Thank 'ee
Yankee
Capitalist Jerk
Wanker
Banker
Oct. 21, 2022
For A Brian Strand Premiere Choice Poetry Contest
Categories:
wanker, people,
Form: Footle
I’m not always sure what to do
But, I’m good with words, so I wrote this for you
Your heart is a stone, its rough and dark
And deep in that rock is a hole
That hole is where you kept me.
From my small view I watched my life pass by as I lived as half a person.
When I catch myself thinking of what we once were i’m enveloped in a whirlwind of disgust.
Im learning, again, how to breathe my own breath.
So I don’t live with regret
Ever again.
So, at night I close my eyes and whisper our secrets to the ceiling.
Purging my soul of memory of you.
Categories:
wanker, anxiety, bullying,
Form: Free verse
Peace Profit
Made in a country near you
Things to do a job
What type of job?
To heal to kill to create to destroy
All in the ACME factory
Ready steady go get to work!
Fulfil your shift
Do your quota
Finish the order yesterday
There's much work to be done
You busy little bees
Make the fat boss rich
Capitalist wage slaves
Even the commies are the same
Make some more do the work
Enrich the rich you wanker
There's no profit in laziness or peace
We are all environmental commodities
Categories:
wanker, career, money, western, work,
Form: Verse
He called up the contact
The contact gave his name and number
The number was a familiar one
Old Nick's address 666
The name needed verifying
Biatch Wanker
Can you spell it again?
The line was bad
Remember son
Gothic music is the best
And Satan is a heavy metal God
See you at the gig
Dress in black...
Categories:
wanker, dark, gothic, rude,
Form: Verse
Mrs. May, I’ve no reason to thank her,
that Corbyn bloke’s a total wanker,
Dreams I will now shatter,
The Lib Dems just don’t matter,
And as for the rest
They’re just a protest.
So with a lack of selection,
In the General Election,
I’ll assign the dice and go with luck
Cus BREXIT made me not give a duck!
Categories:
wanker, political,
Form: Rhyme
My girl Ellie came from Philly
She loves chili from the deli
Such a Silly Sally
Saw her dilly-dally
For a million hours
Smelling gillyflowers
Under hilly towers.
My pop Billy Banker
Was a willy wanker
He was really bonkers
With his deely-bobbers
He loved jelly
Marie Corelli
His cat Milly
And!
Watching telly
With a lily
On his belly.
Categories:
wanker, food, humor, life, nonsense,
Form: Rhyme
imagine a wanker joke
parliament gone up in smoke
brings in a rocket
hid deep in pocket
well guy fawkes you silly bloke.
Categories:
wanker, abuse, anti bullying, bullying,
Form: Limerick
I stick the paper of what appears to be a gray canvas
and then I shove this filter between
on the edge of it
after that I put the tobacco
as for a those good strong cigarette
then with tongue from one head to another
do not know why
but when I do that
I want to rub me.
not because I'm some wanker
vulgar nor gave me the head to be
No.
is merely a state of
in which the cigarette rolls up
make clank
to get her out
and I beat her
while I thinking of your nipples
and burn
burn so good!
Categories:
wanker, i love you, life,
Form: Free verse
My life is for love but I hate my life,
To give everyone what they need just gets me in strife.
I love to help and make you happy,
But I ignore my needs, I feel like the content of a nappy,
Your needs always come first,
I consider your feelings but I just feel worse.
I am the ladder for you to climb,
To better your life, one rung at a time.
I, in the meantime, am walked all over,
Trampled into the ground, feeling like Rover.
I try to change, think of number one,
But when your what I need, myself I have just done.
I revert to normal to get what I want,
But loose you the same and just turn to the plonk.
I fear if I change I’ll become like the rest,
An Arsehole, a Wanker, and that’s just at best.
So I stay as I am to feel like Pooh,
For my life is to love and it’s all for you.
Categories:
wanker, lifelife, love,
Form: Rhyme
The world is filled
With those who kill
With God's name on their lips
Oh how morally ill,
Be he Buddah, Christ, Mohammed,
Krishna, no matter what the name,
What you have done, is totally insane
You wanker, you fool,
You kIll for 72 virgins,
Or spreading your gospel,
With unholy excursions,
The sex of a dead man
More than you deserve,
Your insult to God,
Beyond any word
You Nazi, you fool,
You brainless devil's tool,
Just wait till you die,
You dweller of cesspool
For each life taken,
Is counted off before you
As you beg mercy,
For what you did do
Scum of the Earth,
Subhuman of heart
When you do succumb,
It's only the start
Of enjoying your afterlife,
Sorry, no women for you,
You'll be the devil's plaything,
For all the evil you did do.
Categories:
wanker, death, history, war,
Form: Dramatic Monologue