The vasectominator.
His name is the vasectominator, and he’s as dangerous as an alligator.
Daytime he’ll perform your vasectomy, and night-time he’s you’re worst enemy.
He’s a doctor that is worse than Shipman, one that’s as deadly as a hitman.
He’s a serial killer masquerading in disguise, and murder is his goal, it’s his prize.
pain is his pleasure and one to him that’s a game, he vows to kill, to seek notoriety and fame.
His victims are his patients –they're his easy prey, he’ll sterilise them then attack them as in their beds they lay.
He’ll get their address and details from the surgery files, then on the night will break into your house wearing a disguise.
So, if you are thinking of getting a vasectomy – beware the vasectominator, he’ll target you with glee.
Categories:
vasectomy, character, dark, fate, silly,
Form: Rhyme
Cameron looked on wordlessly:
Many things he’d said carelessly,
The dumb are safe with made gestures
Not easy grudging their postures…
With words he’d just planted hatred
In the mind of Schuller Alfred,
Whom he said had gone to Rwanda
Only to come back with Panda…
First lured by her economy,
His hopes Great Business Colony;
In Rwanda no more anomy:
Who won’t try Brave Agronomy?
One should guess the whole picture:
The glib-tongued need a mute’s lecture,
Also, Eunuch’s Vasectomy
Or, best, God’s Deuteronomy.
Categories:
vasectomy, anger, hate, language, words,
Form: Rhyme
A Rottweiler Shepard mix
longsuffering had proven to be
With the Doberman pup, a red one,
won on a gambling spree
Rocky the mix and BoBo
coexisted for a time
As any two male dogs can manage
till BoBo reached his prime
Suddenly all manners
right out the door
Or respect for the one
The younger Used to adore
Who would allow him as pup
his tail to bite
Sleeping all day
Keep him up half the night
On a road trip in
the trucks bed they lay
Appearing that all fine
No emotions on display
As Rocky got out first
As is the Alphas right
BoBo shot with no warning
his testes to savagely bite
Poor Rocky was loaded
to go to the vet
my mom left in charge
Of the deranged pet
A heavily sedated dog returned
It's angry owner as well
As soon as the tailgate dropped
Rocky unleashed some karma Hell
Young BoBo was hit
So hard and so fast
He rolled for three or four feet,then Old Rocky
indelicately performed his amigos vasectomy neat
The challenge given and answered
Settled the rest of their days
respect that's earned we should not forget
Should machismo get in the way
Categories:
vasectomy, animal, planet,
Form: Rhyme
They had two children
a boy and a girl
They'd done their bit
for a crowded world
Billions then living in poverty
Conditions heartbreakingly unsanitary
The 'moral' thing for parents to do
If having kids, stop at two
So dad had a vasectomy
Quickly and quite easily
His tubes were tied
Hs conscience satisfied...
Yet just eight months later
He wished he'd had
an appendectomy
or tonsillectomy --
anything but a vasectomy
,
For his baby daughter had died of SIDS
and now he could father no more kids
Just as painful, down the road
his son came out as gay
~ No grandchildren for him; no way
"Be fruitful and multiply"
Was commanded not just to the fruit fly
But to Adam and Eve, now mocked with mirth --
Though my poor friend with a vasectomy
Knows only pain on this Earth
He wants you to have as many children as you can
Not to think that you're privy to the Divine plan
Categories:
vasectomy, children, faith, future, god,
Form: Narrative
We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz
Because, because, because, because---
Because of the wonderful things he does! …
My name is America, once a land of opportunity
Where gangs rule inner cities, with utter impunity
Where generations live and die at the point of a gun
In 'combat zones' without shelters, with nowhere to run
My name is America, and I've lost my soul
Traded it for *********** and the Super Bowl
Sold it for a work-week of 70-plus hours
In a race to the top for unbridled power
My name is America, and I'm as confused as can be
Not sure if I'm male or female, or a speaking monkey
Should I abort my baby, get a vasectomy?
When I get older, will euthanasia be right for me?
My name is America; I worship money
Faith is for fools; Religion, odd and funny
Morality's only relative, and it's ever-evolving
Narcissism reigns: Around ourselves we're revolving...
So I'm off to the Wizard, to reclaim my lost soul
To put an end to ghettos, to the inter-generational dole
To clear up my confusion, to restore my belief
To be proud to be an American ~ to breathe a sigh of relief
Categories:
vasectomy, america, confusion, faith, journey,
Form: Rhyme
Kavanaugh the Jury’s out, guilty or not guilty... you decide!
Supreme judge divine
or lying swine?
Suspect Diaper
Smelly and crappy
must change nappy!
Phew what’s that smell
Left parting ‘gift’
farted in lift!
Hangover from hell
Too much drink ...
sick in sink
Burning from both ends
Oops, I forgot
chillies are hot!
Vasectomy Clinic Appointment
Undoes his zip –
time for snip!
Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire
Driving his car -
dropped his cigar!
Six-word couplet series Encore
Sponsored by Mark Toney
10/7/18
Categories:
vasectomy, humorous,
Form: Couplet
Six-Word Couplet Series
Lie spy
Innocent victim dies
Novichock poisoner lies
No deal Brexit
Has Theresa May
Had her day?
Donald Trump
He’s a deadbeat -
Read daily tweet!
Is he really the President
Donald is reckless
Ruthless and feckless
Pure indulgence
I devour candy
Whilst drinking brandy
Burning from both ends
Oops, I forgot
chillies are hot!
Vasectomy Clinic Appointment
Undoes his zip –
Time for snip!
Sponsored by Mark Toney
Six-Word Couplet Series Contest
9/22/18
Categories:
vasectomy, body, food, humorous, political,
Form: Couplet
Vance Plans a Vasectomy
By Elton Camp
Vance heard a vasectomy was the way to go
He didn’t know a lot about it, though
But had read all that he wanted to see:
That no more children is the guarantee
In the waiting area he had to have a seat
Since the doctor was having a bite to eat
The doc sat on a table just out of sight
Of a hot dog he was about to take a bite
But he clenched the bun a bit too tight
The wiener then shot out of his sight
In the waiting area, it dropped to the floor
From Vance there was heard a startled roar
“I didn’t understand what this was about!”
Vance said as he jumped up and ran out
Categories:
vasectomy, funny,
Form: Rhyme
then he had the office job,
the shiny Italian suits with
the pager and the vasectomy.
Categories:
vasectomy, life
Form: Haiku
Say what you want about China's Family Planning Policy
regarding one child only to be born into a family.
This is a responsibility that we all should embrace personally
but it will most likely be enacted into law eventually universally
otherwise we're going to overpopulate ourselves right into poverty.
Our entire planet will be destined to be
one big mother of a third world country,
and that's why I got a vasectomy.
Categories:
vasectomy, life
Form: Rhyme
Revoking Doc's License #1
A word from the State Medical Board committee
The #1 injection will always be P.D.
Doc, I am considering to slam you out of pity
I do not mess with poets whose licenses come from Hello Kitty.
You overdose my patient RED, getting down to the nitty gritty.
At this time, your practice has been revoke
For coming after me as I wear my black cloak.
I got a grip on my scythe pressed against your throat.
Pees running down your legs leaving you all soak
Doc, I got your body full of Narcotics and Painkillers as a joke.
Dropping you like a lawsuit on the examination table with one smack.
Denying you morphine as your vasectomy goes wrong in this attack
I already drove you insane labeling you a quack.
Your hand I flushed in (TRANQUILIZER), slapping you with a black Jack.
Waking up without your gems blood all over your sack.
Restrain you in a straitjacket, throwing you in a padded room.
Covered in your own s*it as you were in your mother’s womb
Poet-ing like a disco biscuit on ecstasy, before I made you go SKAT-boom!
Engraving your Poetic Doctor Degree on the outside of your tomb.
With the words that speak, P.D. was the cause of your poetic doom.
by;P.D.
Categories:
vasectomy, slam
Form: Free verse
He did not want to climb the spiral helix,
a son will be born without him.
He said I want to become my father
and see the decline.
How for shall we go to investigate?
An infant wrapped up in plastic explosive
was going to be presented on dais.
An unclothed carcass was lying between you and me,
body donated for the study
of failing restraints. How death would behave
in broad daylight?
The vasectomy did not work. Testosterone was
still flowing.
Reading Kafka, peanuts!
We have come near emptiness
of a tree, hollowed by white ants.
SATISH VERMA
Categories:
vasectomy, holiday, hope, husband, imagination,
Form: ABC
(This is a fictional poem)
My wife is late again, what am I going to do?
If she's pregnant, this will make child number twenty-two.
I should've had a vasectomy or she should've had her tubes tied.
We couldn't stop making love no matter how hard we've tried.
I love my children and when they say they love me, it makes my heart melt.
But I can't keep going through this, does anybody know where I can buy my wife a
chastity belt?
Categories:
vasectomy, funny, husband, wife, wife,
Form: I do not know?
(This is a fictional poem)
My neighbor does something that's out of sight.
He has babies by himself because he's a hermaphrodite.
He has one baby after another.
It's not easy being both a father and a mother.
He was raised to believe that it's wrong for a father and mother to be unwed so
he married himself.
He has twenty kids so he's not big on wealth.
He wears dresses in public and he looks weird.
He's the only person in a dress who has a beard.
People tell him that he should stop having babies and he agrees.
But he doesn't know whether he's supposed to get his tubes tied or to have a
vasectomy.
Categories:
vasectomy, father, funny, wife, father,
Form: I do not know?