The rebel
Line of inquiry:
“Neither desire nor aversion
Meditation our immersion
Conditioned beliefs discarded
Hymns we hum are our own version”
Strongly I feel, I am longing for “A” one;
Justly I be intense desire;
Personal how be it drawn;
I fight against authority;
I am hierarchy;
Best be believe in me;
Repugnance, to do paired said desire;
Masting said, FIRE,
feelings of dislike, repugnance bio;
Unwillingness to do something see,
One thing paired with a desire to turn away
Subject matter dismantled, swayed
Such a soul dissident, I am a maverick;
Under baptism totally involved in an activity,
or subjects matters;
Deeply I am focus;
Midst the Hocus-Pokus;
Hymnos be still my Song of Praise;
Earth and Heaven raise my name;
Purpose of adoration, I be of royal deity;
I am the Him in Hymn, really!
worship someone or something through song;
Not conceited, I’m exceeded
A Revolutionary nonconformist just an Insurgent
Never am I ever flaw, nor wrong;
I cant ask him to change
Its asking the devil to go to church
The devil knows God is real
He knows change can happen
The devil chooses to live astray
He will forever choose to live sick
the devil was once close to God
Just as he was close to me
Forever seperated by an unwillingness to change
Never any real topic of conversation
As always she would "eff and jeff"
It is like that feeling of frustration
Which way do l turn right or left
But now though is the realisation
This could be her very last breath
Her unwillingness her limitasion
Either that or she is just plain deaf
What has now become a situastion
It would though seem life and death
If she could again try rehabilitation
Or perhaps get back on the meth
A follow on from a stark reality,chasing the light,and substan e written 2014
Spring did not want to appear
as winter kept her nice and warm
covered by his coat of white
it was to comfortable to wake up
it meant work for her
she had gotten to comfortable
the trees began to bud slowly
upset with spring unwillingness
the flower bulbs peeked out
wondering what was keeping spring
the sun shone brightly to wake her
so slowly she decided enough
unwillingly she cast her warmth
upon the earthly orb
spring became awake
Building castles within my own confinement
only to be hit with the harshest of realities
& replaying what it means to be broken, to heal, and relapse
over and over again.
Numbing the weight of so many life choices
Drowning out screams from all different voices.
Lord please me show me your grace.
Seeing myself in the mirror
I'd rather not show my face.
My self esteem crumbled
Self-worth turned to dust
I'm suffering due to a lack of self love
And unwillingness to trust
Feeling as if my body left me unhealed
without my soul intact
Praying I could right the wrongs
that haunt me from my past
afraid of what appears impossible
A daunting peak.. still within my grasp
Have to take that leap of faith
to start me on the path
Dear Lord I pray you break these chains that refuse to set me free
bound from years and years of pain.
Most of which have remained unseen
Let me feel your light my Lord
The warmth shine on my face
I need to feel your selfless love
I need your warm embrace.
The thought of this battle
it heightens all senses of "fight or flight"
I'm writing this in hopes to from now until forever
Guide me into your light.
It's a brand new year,
only a few hours old
and I have hope
that it will be better
A clean slate,
without any new
problems so far,
but old problems prevail
My heart is still heavy
with my son's mental
health condition and his
unwillingness to get help
The heaviness of harsh words
from family members
who are sure I am handling
the situation poorly
Feeling lonely on this hard
journey because I can't do
anything to really help, yet
I can't stand back and do nothing
The feeling of powerlessness,
because he is an adult and
legally, I have no rights,
yet he carries a piece of my heart
That only a mother understands,
that goes with a child when they are
born and they carry that piece of
their mother's heart their entire life.
Feeling is but a distraction
A distraction from being present
While presence is masked by mist
Created by unwillingness to perceive.
Perception requires a bravery that only
The willing can achieve.
The wiling infers a collection of thoughts
That allows mask to breathe.
That cold sparkle of despicable antipathy,
which never waned and was held inside secretly,
didn't start any true affection or desire in me:
on death's final breath it'll agonize me!
Turning somewhere else is seeking vengeance,
from somebody so embolden by anger and apathy;
being unkind is showing the falsity of pretense:
cling to me and spare yourself more days of agony!
Compassion is another form of unpretentious sympathy,
it must be felt adequately to be convincing and genuine;
no comfort is offered, only shallow words that swiftly dwine:
their echo is louder than a thunder rattling any gloomy sky!
Turning somewhere else to find a plausible answer
won't alleviate the anxiety built by a tragic outcome;
come to the senses, knock down the wall of lonely prisoner:
behind it stands the road to freedom, don't be too fearsome!
It's either deranged madness or unwillingness to appease
an imploration suffocated by tears so mercilessly unheeded;
no arms are open, no ears listen to anyone who's wrecked and afraid:
will human mercy be shown when the tides turn and events displease?
Is lactoes intolerance an unwillingness to accept defeet?
When emerging out of the dark,
Inter-net ensured all the little fishes
The same unwillingness we share
To compare, poems fished the fairy
As it is searching for a rhythm
Dancing by the bright flare
Of the hearts capturing each other
What causes war sometimes apart
from ungratefulness and a unwillingness and
inappreciation inherent in ignorance.
Sometimes the one who beats about the bush may
find it easier to strike and harm
than to understand for a sort
of let say correlation?.
Like war is something that may grow
blossoming like hope like wish like
passions?.
One thing sometimes still baffling me
is the audacity of ignorance.
I'm alright. I mean, I don't like the same things I used to anymore but people change over time right? I'm alright. There's this constant buzzing in my mind that steers my thoughts into oblivion so I distract myself to drown it out. I'm alright. These distractions keep me up all night and when I do eventually fall asleep, I sleep all day. I've never felt more alone then I do now. I'm alright. I'm constantly chasing that next high, in whatever form it takes. My destructive behaviors are only outweighed by my inaction. Sometimes its the cause. I'm alright. I fear that I may never be content. That I'll always be looking for what's next. I think that maybe if I just stay here, in this clearly awful position in life, that it'll justify my unwillingness to move forward cause if I do, then I'll just be unhappy in a better position and drag those around who I brought with me, down. I'm alright. So even when everything is all wrong, I'll just say. I'm alright.
It was your guilt
And inability to accept yourself as you really are
It was your need to be better than me
And unwillingness to try very hard
To do it by merit
So it was your insults and instigations and accusations
And your denial
It was your projections and devaluations
And if ever you did go that extra mile
Your triangulations and smear campaigns
It was setting your traps just to get a reaction
Turning up your nose when you caught me again
It was your manipulations and your slight of hand
It was always you
Such a master of disaster
That even when it was me, it's still true
So why it is that I
Am the one who has been discarded
For the naïve flavor of somebody else
Why it's I who am left broken hearted
While you continue on, still in love with yourself
Why you got the pleasure and I got the pain
Is something I fear no-one familiar with justice
Could aptly explain
Compromise is only a weakness between
two people who are unwilling to work together.
I dwell on this statement. Just what does it mean?
Well, if with another you refuse to work,
I would have to say it’s very clear
your unwillingness makes you one big jerk.
The symptoms of superiority complex may include:
1.high valuations of self-worth.
2.boastful claims that aren't backed up by reality.
3.attention to appearance, or vanity.
4.overly high opinion of one's self.
5.a self-image of supremacy or authority.
6.unwillingness to listen to others.
7.overcompensation for specific elements of life.
Note.Zafar Khan Supari is sick (Mental Case).
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