Lost in a world of wonder,
Wanting to know...
Does it ever end?
Never ending pain...
Sadness...
Crying...
Feeling that need to cut,
Knowing you shouldn't...
But somehow feels like a must.
Pushing forward through life,
Kinda feels like a bust...
Wondering why,
Is it worth the pain?
Am I really worth it?
Continuously asking,
Why?
Should I?
A move to another state
there for a while
wondering if it was worth the while
sure, doing great a good career, and a great job
a nice place to stay been blessed along the ways
now, undecided to stay in the place
might consider a move to another area
one-day she might get married
If the right man come along
If not that is okay
surviving, trusting in God so Blessed
might stay, as the time passes by
should know sooner than later one-day.
My heart burning
My head bursting
Thoughts unknown
Hidden on my own
Reminiscing the past
Recalling what is was
Looking toward the future
What am I living for?
My heart burning
Isn’t it loving?
Why is it fainting?
To whom my heart I’ll be saving?
My head bursting
To the noise I’m listening
Along the road I am pacing
To unknown direction I am going
An undecided thought
took a stroll
always thought that half of me
wasn't me
Do you sometime feel as if that
muted voice
inside
is hiding something
just beyond your sight
An undecided thought
took a stroll
always thought that half of me
wasn't me
Do you sometime feel as if that
muted voice
inside
is hiding something
just beyond your sight
I’ve been toiling over
This monumental decision
But my mind keeps clouding
My weary hearts vision
When will I learn
To do things right,
How am I able
To keep up this fight
How will I know
I’ve made the right decision
When all I can do
Is up with such precision
I feel trapped in this haze
Of trying to make it all right,
But it feels like a losing battle
The harder I fight
I wish I could escape
This darkness and pain,
The more I try thinking
Makes me feel I’m insane
So the time is at hand
To finally choose
Will it be life or death
That sets me free of these blues
Guessing has become the norm.
I was never certain of anything.
I just guess my way through the storm.
Can't blame anyone for losing faith.
It's all about survival, and no one likes to wait.
So, I guess I will be a Poet seeking fame.
But at the end of these words will you remember my name?
Maybe I will never make it,
Or maybe I will.
I guess Iam just guessing against my will.
Why can't I make a decision?
I guess, I guess, I have no opinion.
So, I guess I will be an artist, whatever that is.
Or maybe I will settle down with a wife and some kids.
Maybe I will be rich or some what poor.
But this I do know, I wont be guessing anymore.
Kissing is a habit,
Hugging is a shame,
Boys get all the pleasure,
Girls get all the blame,
They tell you that they love you,
They tell you that it's true,
But when your stomach starts to rise,
They say the he'll with you,
60 minutes of pleasure,
9 months of a pain,
With a baby ; That's got no name,
The mama called a whore,
The baby called a bastard,
The baby wouldn't be here,
If the rubber hasn't tore.
Mind lurking elsewhere; Like the thief in the night
Inner thoughts trapped where bad is considered the best
Heartless soul that attacks the spirit
The gate way to heaven is nowhere to be seen
Mindless body that lurks for sin
Deeds that darken the light
Attempts to stop, but the feeling refuses
Inner ability to pray has failed, uncontested weakness has occurred
Sin rushes through my veins; day in and out
A call out to God has placed me on hold
Blind hands that hold nothing but the devils plate
My soul covered in mud like a pig in mud
Dirt follows me in the night it eats me alive
I trying to believe but my faith is weak
I knocking on faith’s door but nobody seems to be inside
Waking around in never land hoping to find me
I cry out to the bible, but my cries are silent
Open your heart oh lord as I kneel before you
People around me so distant that I see them no more
Your heart is tardy,
hardly used except to whisper
words of courteous affection.
Passion takes a backseat with your
carefully selected styles of self-protection.
'I love you' hardly ever leaves your lips.
Is it fear of letting go that stills your
soul, or the fear you'll get too close
that keeps you undecided?
The bike you thought you wanted
Lies wasting in the yard
It now has weathered paint
And rusted handlebars
Briefly shown some favor
When it was brand new
Once thinking it unique
But changed your point of view
It never lost it's usefulness
It hardly stood a chance
You laid it down and walked away
A choice of circumstance
What made you change your mind
How could you be so fickle
It simply takes some time to learn
To ride a new bicycle
Your heart is tardy,
hardly used except to whisper
words of courteous affection.
Passion takes a backseat with your
carefully selected styles of self-protection.
'I love you' hardly ever leaves your lips.
Is it fear of letting go that stills your
soul, or the fear you'll get too close
that keeps you undecided?
Despising the undecided desires
Of my minds confines
Feverishly facing that fearsome fog of folly
I lie here
Longing for leading lit lines
Swearing to someday satisfy
The starving soul in me
I sit here and I feel undecided on what to do next with my life, tried many things but no interest comes to me.
When the motivation and standards were too much for me, I gave up
Where will I be next, what will become of me, I still do not know
The things I want are too much to handle and I don’t take it
Failure I feel, and it is worse when I do.
The goals I set fall out the door, it is my fault and I blame myself.
I feel worthless and I am a failure.
I sit here undecided on what to do next with my life.
Whom shall I be today?
I've not the slightest clue
A child with his toys to play,
Or someone else--brand new?
A brat to never be forgiven:
To never see the sights of Heaven;
Never join my Christian brethren?
Oh, I pray it isn't true!
You, kindly nurse, my lips, please moisten
With whisky rye; I've picked my poison
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