Udder Poems | Examples

dis tracked

i am cupid of ireland
i came to ridicule women into the grave
to be rhetorically relevent to juliet is not plausable
you are tly the last of america, the confident mailbox of your ass
gets passed, like trash beneath my sheets, hoodat?
thats a poser, white trash ballet, think so?
gimme nothing like udder against, my title, bout less
kickers in the mules acres of disease
con't grow out you face, enough laid
brittle pickles, her daddy's lies

Abcedarian Poem for Kicks and Giggles

alabaster aardvark allows
banished blue booby
cobblestone cracks
during Dubuque’s disastrous date
effervescent egrets
feel felonious and free
giving giant giraffe gratitude
high-fiving hilarious hyenas
illustrious indigo iguana
jokily justifies
kangaroo’s curious kindness
luxurious llama laughs
mangy monkey mimics
noisy next-door neighbor
ornery oustanding ostrich of Oz
provokes prissy persnickety peacock
querulously quarrels with quick quail
resident rodent rushes
sassily sure-footed and serious
temperate tarantula turns
under universal udder
variegated villainous veins
willingly walk weirdly
‘xciting ‘xacting ‘xtraordinary
yellow yang yaks
zing in zigzag zones, zeroing alabaster aardvarks

nipple tip

.

      one nipple iz
        the same 
             az
        the udder

          i mean 
      az the other
           babe

When Sheep Play Poker

"A straight!  Two-three, five-six and eight,"
but Mildred bleated, "Ain't no straight;
you, Alice-ewe, are one dumb rump."
Bright chortles burbled round the stump
till Jingles raised, "Two straws of hay,"
too rich for Fay-Fay: "I can't play,
though, know that ram hauled in by truck?
I thought he gave me … lotsa luck!"
Suzette guffawed, "Not luck you meant."
"Perv, pigsty's where your mind has went!"
"Well, we all know why he's brung here …"
"Too bad it's only once a year." 
"Who poofed?" sneered Molly, "That's so crass!
Wow, someone dined on rancid grass …"
Embarrassed Mildred urged, "Just play,
let's brighten up this gloomy day."
Belle brooded, "Yeah, dawn brings the shears …"
"Well you look cute, nude tail to ears."
"And your sagged udder shows you're old!"
Tense silence fell--that barb was bold--
but Alice, heedless, claimed, "Two pair!"
which drew the wrath of Mildred's stare:
"Two fives, a two with ten on top?
You're one stupid mutton chop …"

Cub with Mom

     Cub with Mom

                 Soft- skinned snow white Mom- sheep
                  wth its cub in deep sleep.

                   At morning both woke up.
                   Mom and cub ran swift sharp.
   
                  Through bushes both to peep.
                   and ran but the cub slipped.

                   Mom rushed to hug baby,
                    licked the little cute ewe.

                  Cub closed its eyes in glee.
                  coiled like ball : woolly.

                  Both playing free frolic
                   rolling random rollick.
                                          
                   In rapture sheep to dance.
                   Reckless ewe starts to prance.

                    Jumping joyous crazy
                     Mom cuddled, got busy.
                   
                  Mom clasped cub being pleased
                  Ewe sucked udder at ease.

                 Me walking on the lawn
                 amused to watch at dawn.

A Maniac Screams!

A maniac laughs
a maniac screams
and screams

feed me
feed me
mummy feed me
feed me
let me suckle upon
your shapely breast
even though I'm 53
and your dead

feed me
feed me
feed me

sweet breast milk
mummy's milk is the best
keep that cow's udder
away from me

I am not
I repeat
I am not belonging to this freak show
but soon I'll have no place to go.

Lenny Gazbowski(c)2014

New Dog Named Ucap

We have a new dog and we call her UCAP
Interesting, I say, does she chase tail and nap?
She doesn’t do anything other dogs do.
Actually, and her bark sounds more like a moo.

I did not meet UCAP that night, it was late
but opened my eye the next day to a crazy fate.
The dog looked more like a cow, had an udder too
Now I knew why this dog did not bark, yet said moo

Pardon me, I said, but this dog is a cow.
Couldn’t be said the city slicker, not knowing how…
They could have paid the pet shop for a dog but instead
Brought home an enormous beast who liked being grain-fed.

What does UCAP Stand for? I asked them, interested now.
Up close and personal, and you are right, she might be a cow.
Up close and personal loved living in the house with these two.
When I left I heard another loud bellowing moo.

Poem 38

Give me the bear's hide along this land of limbs she wears a crown of berries. Unswayed by the stones thrown to only rebuild a new home. Sheltering the young ones suckling blue nectar from the udder of thy starfish god.

Milking It

While others give grief,
a chocolate milk cow
often stutters, and how!
In her udder relief,
she utters “ca-cow”
while producing cacao,
tells the nutters,
Ciao, ciao.
Not one to chew fat,
a crow in the know
tells her, no, it’s cocoa
but she says he’s loco,
and a raven, at that.

One Way Or An Udder

Purple-haired teens of large girth,
courageously saving the earth,
are staging big pours
in grocery stores;
they're milking for all that it’s worth!


https://www.lbc.co.uk/news/animal-rebellion-protestors-pour-milk-across-uk-shop-floors-including-harrods-an/

Comparing Luther and Mandela

Shall I forget my asking a brother:
“Who of The Two has A Much Taller Order?”
And Dairy Hand mishandled An Udder,
For round spinning to watch Close Adder…

Martin Luther and Nelson Mandela,
If they were Fidelis - Fidelia, 
Then Stark Crudity of South Africa
Matched Mixed Decency of America 
And True killers, sometimes reasonable,
Same as Searching Eyes for The Treasonable;
Or would one Some Healthy Type Writer 
Praise like Zealous Breathless Writer?

More air outside The Cell for Martins,
Nelson in Dark Prison with Batons.
Martin Luther could time find for Quotes,
Nelson Mandela for The Word that floats...

And one had had A Far-Too-Funny Wife
That drew a picture of Another Strife,
The bizarre assembling for journalists;
For her Cosmetics the longest lists...

There always is some First Among Equals:
The same family but Yells aren’t Squalls…

For Stevo Down on de Farm

Stevo milks de cows but O’ brudder
in de shed some begin to shudder.
  With tight grip he pull
   on both cow and bull
but one sure doh milk like de udder!


       Written: August 2014

Santa Vaca

Santa vaca, holy cow
In udder disbelief
This thread has reached a tipping point
No really, what's your beef?
The cattle never get your tongue
The butcher might get theirs
But grab a bull not by the horns
Last grief come to your heirs
Yes, he might quickly steer you home
A home for you, arrange
By all means, stand your ground, Chuck
‘Cuz heifer thing's at steak

Ferryman's Feet

Honey’s makeshift spit. Wouldn’t pay a dime for a harlot. No need to count up a tally when in hindsight it’s a waver.

‘’Use in discretion.’’ Wrap it up sugar. The man in the woods, is father goat in a forest.

Lore and udder are what keeps the bloodline going. Façade’s crumble, if mistaken…

No man should take off their shoe before dying. The ferryman has dusty feet.

Chickens run around for half a minute after getting their head hacked off. Humankind do it their entire life.

Theres Something About Shirley

Short sighted Shirley, a young farmhand girlie
Life as a milkmaid meant getting up early
But it’s not the tiredness making her surly
Her hair has turned slimy: it’s normally curly

She talks to the cows like she’s Doctor Doolittle 
Her hair, now it’s dry, is still sticky but brittle 
She told the next cow that the last had one udder
But that cow exclaimed… that last cow was my brother!

• Short Udder Poems
• Famous Udder Poems
• Best Udder Poems
• Read Udder Poems
• Long Udder Poems
• Udder Quotes