A woman I knew loved a twinkie.
She also loved a binky.
The cream from the twink,
She'd smear on the bink.
So what do you think?
Is that kinky?
She had just bit into her Twinkie
When she got a look from creepy guy
She gagged and a small piece flew up
and landed right smack in her eye!
He was sure she gave him a wink
Which only increased his advances
He said, "Hey baby, my name is Dink,"
"How about I show you some dances!"
She didn't like the way he looked
She'd rather die, and told him so
Then she turned around and left
He was a pretty good dancer though!
Twinkie Lovers Rejoice
By Elton Camp
When Twinkies were made no more
From the public came an outraged roar
“But Twinkies are my favorite treat.
I absolutely must have them to eat.”
The union had Hostess by the throat
Production costs thereby did bloat
Twinkie-making then shut down
That made its lovers scowl and frown
Imposters soon began to be sold
“They’re not as good,” the public told
“We must have our junk-food fix.
Don’t keep trying a scheming trick.”
They are said to taste like they did before
But cocoa, not milk chocolate anymore
So Twinkies are making a sweet comeback
Again, sugar and fat they sure won’t lack
To eat Twinkies that have been deep-fried
You haven’t lived until you’ve tried!
No more Twinkies, no more Yodels;
Say farewell to Sno Balls, too.
Ring Dings soon will be extinct
And Devil Dogs, as well, are through.
Plus you’ll have to wonder where
Your fluffy white bread went because
If Wonder was the brand you bought,
This news I bring will give you pause:
For Hostess brands (and Drakes as well)
Have closed their doors, declared defeat;
But oh, those squiggle cupcakes! They,
In childhood days, were such a treat!
Hostess cakes are front and center
When I’m sweetly reminiscing.
I feel bad for kids today
And all those Twinkies they’ll be missing!
I have a little goldfish,
That wants me to scratch his belly.
I scratch it and his tail starts moving,
Just like a jar of grape jelly.
My little goldfish is always hungry,
But is as fat and as long as can be.
He’s a goldfish with an attitude,
And his name is Twinkie.
When I have to change that water,
And he gets put into another bowl.
Ho goes to the bottom and pouts at me,
And he gives me a fin so cold.
Spoiled is my goldfish,
And Twinkie is his name.
But without his little attitude,
Our house wouldn’t be the same.
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