Twas the night before Christmas and on my TV
Netflix was trying to entertain me
I’d paid my subscription but what did I see
Movies I watched in Nineteen Eighty Three
*
There’s some that are newer but what would you think
The lips of the actors aren’t even in synch
And so when the actors get all touchy feely
The dialogue sounds like it might be Swahili
It takes me a while but I soon understand
The movie was made in a far away land
So that explains why the star talks like John Wayne
But looks like he hails from the Southwest of Spain
I try to recall how the subtitles work
I’m bashing the buttons like some kind of jerk
When I get it right the subtitles kick in
But then the screen fades out to leave the word…… ‘Fin’
My wife went to bed in a huff and I said
These foreign movies all mess with my head
Then Netflix suggestions include ‘East of Eden’
But I’m seeking films (with subtitles) from Sweden
Of course I just said that to shock you awake
Who looks at the subtitles for goodness sake
But this night before Christmas, I had no idea
What I found was no movie… just an ad for IKEA
Categories:
twas, christmas, film,
Form: Rhyme
Twas the night before Christmas late dinner.
Table set, waiting for Conner, a beginner.
Wondering which turkey will be a winner.
Wild round neighborhood, non any thinner.
Turkeys saw the peaceful neighbor coming,
Plain funny, stomping heavy, and humming.
Toms all disappeared and hid while thumbing
Energetic to all the hens to stop chumming.
Neighbor looked all through the woods becoming
Fully stressed out, he saw his evident shortcoming.
In thought, no turkey round rhythmic drumming
His weapon. In an awkward look, little unbecoming.
Turkeys out of sight, outsmarted in the battlefield.
A series of loud banter yelps filled the field.
Turkey heads yield, poking out the brush, concealed.
Glaze ham dressed like turkey for dinner revealed.
Categories:
twas, christmas,
Form: Rhyme
'Twas the night before Christmas at my house
when I heard a noise I knew wasn't a mouse.
And as the kids dreamed fast asleep in bed,
through their window, I saw a flash of red.
I thought raccoons were causing this uproar,
I know what they're like; I've heard them before.
Tipping over garbage cans, they're a pest;
wanting to see for myself, I got dressed.
No one was stirring, so I went to see
what made enough noise to awaken me.
Grabbing a flashlight, I headed outside
where I slipped, landing square on my backside.
Let me tell you, I wasn't in a good mood:
and that fall didn't improve my attitude.
On the roof, I saw reindeer and a sled,
for it wasn't raccoons, but Santa instead.
And Rudolph's scarlet nose was all aglow,
causing a red reflection on the snow.
Santa winked and then disappeared from sight:
believe me, I'll never forget that night.
My wife wouldn't listen to a word I said,
worried that I probably hit my head.
But when I was getting up from my fall,
I swear I heard, "Merry Christmas to all."
Categories:
twas, christmas, fantasy, funny, holiday,
Form: Rhyme
"Twas the night before Christmas" and I thought I was dead,
my feet felt like two big clumps of lead.
There was pounding in my head,
all I could see was red.
What a week this had been,
maybe I need a big glass of gin.
The house had to be really clean,
everywhere I hung red and green.
I started cooking my famous pies,
maybe they will win a huge prize.
No mash potatoes just lots of fries,
with a turkey that is full-size.
Tomorrow is Christmas day,
guess Santa will be here with his sleigh.
The kids will want to play,
to my warm bed I will run away.
Categories:
twas, drink, food, fun, kid,
Form: Rhyme
Sorry this party must end in such a grizzly way.
Next time maybe keep your hands off someones fiancé.
No I cannot let you go, you caused her such dismay.
Now a pleasant bit of vivisection, where's that tourniquet?
I hope you're ready for some fun because it's time to play.
You're going to be a work of art worthy of display.
Limb by limb of bone and all the skin that I will flay.
Oh, I didn't tell you here's the part I didn't say.
Ready yourself the surprise is you will be okay.
By that I mean wishing for death every single day.
Categories:
twas, betrayal, dark,
Form: Rhyme
There are clouds on the horizon
Winds are blowing in from the east
The washing's still out on the line
And the Sunday's best is all creased
The cows are waiting on their feed
For the prairie grass in long gone
We can see they're growing restless
And they'll need milking come the dawn
The eldest now talks of college
It's a doctor he wants to be
From the time he was ten years old
He would say "farming's not for me"
Mary passed away last August
The youngster was thrown from her horse
Her memory is precious
Though we live with the remorse
The winter is fast approaching
Now's the time to stockpile supplies
We'll begin gathering those things
On which the whole family relies
Eventually spring will come
As the cycle of life renews
Calves will be at their mother's side
As, too, spring lambs to the ewes
Even though I love this hard land
I know one day I will retire
I hope I get a chance to live
A long time before I expire
I'll open the gates, set herds free
And I'll let the land go its way
Since there's no one to follow on
This farm belongs to yesterday
Categories:
twas, farm, life,
Form: Rhyme
‘twas the night I met you.
A heart-stopping glorious man,
Possibly an Angel abandoning Heaven to master the art of earthly sensuality.
With dazzling electric blue eyes locked with mine,
Star-struck - I was breathlessly captured.
Too paralyze to move or speak,
I fell under your spell with pleasure.
And for that poignant ephemeral moment
my heart was delightfully taking its fill.
Although I knew not where you came from,
and there was a bell of warning clanging loudly in the back of my head.
Still nothing was going to be in the way.
Words needn’t be spoken aloud.
My heart defies all and embraces you in.
I’m yours to be devoured anyway.
Then like a velvet dream,
Your warm breath whispering along my skin as if stealing illicit kisses.
Drowning me into an undeniable blazing wanton desire and need.
Feverishly - together we claimed each other with pure satisfaction.
And ‘twas that night,
I knew happiness.
Fin Chuuk
3/13/23
Categories:
twas, desire, love, passion, romantic
Form: Romanticism
Twas
night before Christmas
Teddy
warm
soft
timeless hold
eased Nick's
impatience
gay hunger
towards
believing even
festive ornaments
reindeer elf
Christmas holidays
raise
incandescent
sentiment
towards
many
alit
souls
12/22/2022
a·lit v.
Categories:
twas, child, christmas,
Form: Free verse
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Frantic multitasking
Made everyone grouse
Someone wrapped gifts
Of odd size and shape
Until they discovered
No more sticky tape
In the kitchen someone else
Had a surplus of ambition
Many things cooked at once
Burnt beyond recognition
Someone in the garage
Was packing the car
But forgotten to gas up
So they wouldn't go far
At some point before dawn
They'd collapse into bed
Having agreed next year
On a cruise instead!
16 December 2022
Categories:
twas, humor,
Form: Rhyme
Twas the night before Christmas
Teddy
warm
and
soft,
timeless
hold
eased
Nick's
impatience
gay
hunger
towards
believing
even
festive
ornaments,
reindeer,
elf.
Christmas
holidays
raise
incandescent
sentiment
towards
many
alit
souls.
12/15/2022
a·lit v.
A past tense and a past participle of alight1.
Categories:
twas, christmas,
Form: Acrostic
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the night
Santa and reindeer flew into the light
not a gift went amiss not a sound did he make
as he slid down the chimney and arose with a quake
with siffoned soft whistles and gregarious tee hees
he placed down the gifts just before the big flee
too late for retrieval soon he was caught
by a little wee tot who abandoned his cot
May I call you Kriss Krinkle he asked with a lisp
made you some cookies, bit burnt, but their crisp
soon they were wrapped and then tucked in His sack
alongside the toys, they went clickety clack
Oh crumbs I must go, Mrs. C wants me home
she covers them good with some chocolate Arome
no worries my lad, next year burn some more
my reindeer love burntys, cuz it helps when they snore !
December 7, 2022
Sponsor Joseph May
Contest Name The Night Before 3
Categories:
twas, humorous,
Form: Rhyme
'Twas Thanksgiving Night after
and all through the home
You could hear toilets flushing
as celebrants moaned
Too much turkey and stuffing
and pumpkin pie to boot
Poor folks no longer fit
in their birthday suits
What's that I hear
that knock at the door
'Tis the policeman come
to tally the score
I give him the grim news
as he writes down the numbers
Three dry heavers; five stomachs pumped &
~ ten blueberry pies consumed by the plumber
Categories:
twas, food, giggle, health, thanksgiving,
Form: Rhyme
‘Twas the night before Christmas
My momma was upset ‘cause papa was drunk,
A decorated tree stood lopsided in the corner
And my older brother insisted Santa was bunk!
I still had hope that ol’ Santa would appear
With each noise outside, I ran toward my bed,
Brother laughed at the idea of flying reindeer
Momma said he’d come; papa’s nose was red.
Eyes fluttering, I could hardly stay awake
Snow drifting, Papa said Santa’ll need a jeep
Suddenly it sounded like an awful earthquake,
Icicles falling from the eaves, before I fell asleep.
I can’t say what happened after I was snoozing,
But Santa must’ve come, ‘cause when I woke up
A new sled with runners ready for greasing
Was under the tree, and Brother had a brand new pup!
Written November 23, 2022
Submitted to "The Night Before 3" Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Joseph May
Categories:
twas, christmas, fun,
Form: Rhyme
‘Tis three years today
Since you went away
Oh darling Son of mine
We had no inkling
On that sunny day
‘Twas a Friday in October
when you were called over
for you ~ your time had come
Too soon
Too young
My only Son
Oh how we cried
on the day you died
Leaving such devastation
For your loving wife
Your son
Your daughter
And me darling boy
Your dearest mum
So as another year goes by
The thought of you
Brings a tear to my eye
I hope and I pray
I will see you some day
In the meantime
there is something
I wanted to say
Dearest Son I love you
with every bit of my heart
Watch over us
Be with us
I pray
Give us the strength to carry on
God Bless you my Son
My only one
From me your ever loving Mum
Written 18th October 2022
for my Son my only one...
Categories:
twas, bereavement, devotion, eulogy, family,
Form: Rhyme
Scale a bough; and hold onto this
Astoundment, forevermore.
A curtain of leaf, parted for:
Life, and its glory, nested.
So in this world have I placed you.
With loving care, and foresight;
That which, on those wings of desire
Purist, does show you upborne.
Who, above, by your own new-born
Into hushed awe, too, is led.
Categories:
twas, god,
Form: Rhyme
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