Laughed, as I had, and quicker
More hilarious
Running to me, it was life.
Tension's escape valve.
Sentiment, end of school day's
Burstingly echoed.
First, a gate through; then wall on
Wall, neighbourhood-aired.
As stern, and as unprepared
Subdues, to dissolve.
Royalty can be no match
Sometimes, for a plan to hatch
From the minds of angry men
When they have an angry yen
To overthrow what they don’t like
and make a move to shoot and strike
Rather then make their appeal
They would rather maim and steal
But
In this saga to retell
As his rage he could not quell
It is true as it was seen
’Twas a pickle saved the queen
Had she not reached for that Dill
Her assassin’s plot to kill
Might have gotten very far
Had she not reached for that jar
Thank God for that pick, pick, pickle
Saved her life, it’s just that simple
Sometimes, she is just so fickle
Thank God, she reached for that pickle
Now forever in this land
There will be a PICKLE Stand
With a sign for all to see
Saved the queen, HEY, look at me
That assassin’s been arrested
And his punishment attested
He will labor many years
Canning pickles, chips and spears!
Then what to his wand'ring blund'ring eye should appear
A comely young lass willing to spread dread and fear
Even much better's she married much older
"All the better to see you my Dear and be bolder.
I delight in the fright and things will be dandy.
If it will be spread by some winsome eye candy."
All the while this Grinch swallows and wallows in pardon
While he plays DJ where the roses were gardened
You can hear 'midst the din, hue and cry in the land
But this is the guy who now picks the bands
That will be centering all our attention
There will be no mention of any dissension
Because Sinterclause cows the Press and the Right
"Merry Xmas to all", unless we say, "Good night!"
Twas the night before last New Years Eve
When I met an old fellow named Steve
He wore a red velvet suit
And was covered in soot
But his long white beard made me believe
hollow like an echo
absence gift
sun’s touch
shore left
new sea found
lighting framed silence
Twas the night before Christmas and on my TV
Netflix was trying to entertain me
I’d paid my subscription but what did I see
Movies I watched in Nineteen Eighty Three
*
There’s some that are newer but what would you think
The lips of the actors aren’t even in synch
And so when the actors get all touchy feely
The dialogue sounds like it might be Swahili
It takes me a while but I soon understand
The movie was made in a far away land
So that explains why the star talks like John Wayne
But looks like he hails from the Southwest of Spain
I try to recall how the subtitles work
I’m bashing the buttons like some kind of jerk
When I get it right the subtitles kick in
But then the screen fades out to leave the word…… ‘Fin’
My wife went to bed in a huff and I said
These foreign movies all mess with my head
Then Netflix suggestions include ‘East of Eden’
But I’m seeking films (with subtitles) from Sweden
Of course I just said that to shock you awake
Who looks at the subtitles for goodness sake
But this night before Christmas, I had no idea
What I found was no movie… just an ad for IKEA
Twas the night before Christmas late dinner.
Table set, waiting for Conner, a beginner.
Wondering which turkey will be a winner.
Wild round neighborhood, non any thinner.
Turkeys saw the peaceful neighbor coming,
Plain funny, stomping heavy, and humming.
Toms all disappeared and hid while thumbing
Energetic to all the hens to stop chumming.
Neighbor looked all through the woods becoming
Fully stressed out, he saw his evident shortcoming.
In thought, no turkey round rhythmic drumming
His weapon. In an awkward look, little unbecoming.
Turkeys out of sight, outsmarted in the battlefield.
A series of loud banter yelps filled the field.
Turkey heads yield, poking out the brush, concealed.
Glaze ham dressed like turkey for dinner revealed.
"Twas the night before Christmas" and I thought I was dead,
my feet felt like two big clumps of lead.
There was pounding in my head,
all I could see was red.
What a week this had been,
maybe I need a big glass of gin.
The house had to be really clean,
everywhere I hung red and green.
I started cooking my famous pies,
maybe they will win a huge prize.
No mash potatoes just lots of fries,
with a turkey that is full-size.
Tomorrow is Christmas day,
guess Santa will be here with his sleigh.
The kids will want to play,
to my warm bed I will run away.
Sorry this party must end in such a grizzly way.
Next time maybe keep your hands off someones fiancé.
No I cannot let you go, you caused her such dismay.
Now a pleasant bit of vivisection, where's that tourniquet?
I hope you're ready for some fun because it's time to play.
You're going to be a work of art worthy of display.
Limb by limb of bone and all the skin that I will flay.
Oh, I didn't tell you here's the part I didn't say.
Ready yourself the surprise is you will be okay.
By that I mean wishing for death every single day.
There are clouds on the horizon
Winds are blowing in from the east
The washing's still out on the line
And the Sunday's best is all creased
The cows are waiting on their feed
For the prairie grass in long gone
We can see they're growing restless
And they'll need milking come the dawn
The eldest now talks of college
It's a doctor he wants to be
From the time he was ten years old
He would say "farming's not for me"
Mary passed away last August
The youngster was thrown from her horse
Her memory is precious
Though we live with the remorse
The winter is fast approaching
Now's the time to stockpile supplies
We'll begin gathering those things
On which the whole family relies
Eventually spring will come
As the cycle of life renews
Calves will be at their mother's side
As, too, spring lambs to the ewes
Even though I love this hard land
I know one day I will retire
I hope I get a chance to live
A long time before I expire
I'll open the gates, set herds free
And I'll let the land go its way
Since there's no one to follow on
This farm belongs to yesterday
‘twas the night I met you.
A heart-stopping glorious man,
Possibly an Angel abandoning Heaven to master the art of earthly sensuality.
With dazzling electric blue eyes locked with mine,
Star-struck - I was breathlessly captured.
Too paralyze to move or speak,
I fell under your spell with pleasure.
And for that poignant ephemeral moment
my heart was delightfully taking its fill.
Although I knew not where you came from,
and there was a bell of warning clanging loudly in the back of my head.
Still nothing was going to be in the way.
Words needn’t be spoken aloud.
My heart defies all and embraces you in.
I’m yours to be devoured anyway.
Then like a velvet dream,
Your warm breath whispering along my skin as if stealing illicit kisses.
Drowning me into an undeniable blazing wanton desire and need.
Feverishly - together we claimed each other with pure satisfaction.
And ‘twas that night,
I knew happiness.
Fin Chuuk
3/13/23
Twas
night before Christmas
Teddy
warm
soft
timeless hold
eased Nick's
impatience
gay hunger
towards
believing even
festive ornaments
reindeer elf
Christmas holidays
raise
incandescent
sentiment
towards
many
alit
souls
12/22/2022
a·lit v.
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Frantic multitasking
Made everyone grouse
Someone wrapped gifts
Of odd size and shape
Until they discovered
No more sticky tape
In the kitchen someone else
Had a surplus of ambition
Many things cooked at once
Burnt beyond recognition
Someone in the garage
Was packing the car
But forgotten to gas up
So they wouldn't go far
At some point before dawn
They'd collapse into bed
Having agreed next year
On a cruise instead!
16 December 2022
Twas the night before Christmas
Teddy
warm
and
soft,
timeless
hold
eased
Nick's
impatience
gay
hunger
towards
believing
even
festive
ornaments,
reindeer,
elf.
Christmas
holidays
raise
incandescent
sentiment
towards
many
alit
souls.
12/15/2022
a·lit v.
A past tense and a past participle of alight1.
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the night
Santa and reindeer flew into the light
not a gift went amiss not a sound did he make
as he slid down the chimney and arose with a quake
with siffoned soft whistles and gregarious tee hees
he placed down the gifts just before the big flee
too late for retrieval soon he was caught
by a little wee tot who abandoned his cot
May I call you Kriss Krinkle he asked with a lisp
made you some cookies, bit burnt, but their crisp
soon they were wrapped and then tucked in His sack
alongside the toys, they went clickety clack
Oh crumbs I must go, Mrs. C wants me home
she covers them good with some chocolate Arome
no worries my lad, next year burn some more
my reindeer love burntys, cuz it helps when they snore !
December 7, 2022
Sponsor Joseph May
Contest Name The Night Before 3
Sub Categories
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