Toupees Poems | Examples


Premium MemberEverything's Bigger In Texas

Everything's bigger in Texas they say
Bed bugs drive cars and cows can sashay
And now for the best
Ladies have big breasts
Causing men to drool and lose their toupees
Categories: toupees, fun,
Form: Limerick

Groovy

Peace and love lots of slang man
I'm feeling groovy tonight
I was a flower child still stand
wishing we could all unite
although they protested
in their maxi dresses
and were getting arrested
I would've avoided those messes
mag wheels and jacked up cars
green shaggy carpet
matching kitchen appliances with bars
long hair and sideburns artists
silver trees color wheels
did glow with their stacks
mini-skirts flashing appeals
burning bras with bare backs
just to experience how it feels
custom vans with daisies
parents with wigs toupees
rose colored glasses not crazies
an era that never went out fun days
Categories: toupees, change, history, identity, nostalgia,
Form: Rhyme


Premium MemberAdventure In An Upscale Wig Shoppe

Pierre's upscale wig shoppe sells fine toupees
Gus said, "This one I want to buy today."
   Gus was ready to spit
   'Cos his wig didn't fit
Pierre smiled ~ "First get a haircut, OK?"
Categories: toupees, business, hair, humorous,
Form: Limerick

Premium MemberThe Land of Big

In Texas, everything's bigger they say
Bed bugs drive cars and cows can sashay
And now for the best
Ladies have big breasts
Causing men to drool and lose their toupees
Categories: toupees, celebration,
Form: Limerick

A Barber

A barber in county Kildare,
both drinking and doing their hair,
cut till they were bald.
'Don't worry,' he called,
'Eight quid includes toupees to wear.'

for Joseph's limerick contest, written 22nd January
Categories: toupees, nonsense,
Form: Limerick


Premium MemberModern Vanity

Modern Vanity

tracks
weaves
hair color
fingernails
manicures
pedicures
inflated buttocks and lips
sculptured hips
workout
aerobic
liftup
tuckin
sixpacks
jog
rotate
walk
perspire
maintain
get that body
night masks
contour sticks
Facetime
Facebook
facelift
Instagram
Twitter
tummy tucks
lap bands
gastric by-pass
designer clothes
sports cars
convertibles
Teslas
toupees
tattoos
Men’s Club
blue pills
anything else?

7/18/17

Facebook and Twitter are creating a vain generation of self-obsessed people with child-like need for feedback, warns top scientist.
Categories: toupees, life, today,
Form: Free verse

I Will Obey

“I WILL OBEY”


stack the legos
make the towers
bury the money
build the server
send the message
the dandelion’s on fire.

tonight,
the code goes out
the message is clear
the message is coded
the megaphones were charged.

walk the blueprint of my home
listen to the frying pan cry
the due date on the digital 
service bill is late but they
gave the world an extra day.

his voice follows
her voice carries

the world’s bloodsuckers
require new poison
the moon asks for the sun
the sun asks for an eviction
step after step
the coded messages reiterate.

time laughs as we forget 
to breathe
resistance is pointless
and yet,
resistance is doubled.

tonight,
my ears have no conscience
they’ve made their own decision
jail stripes make love to the ball and chain
toupees move with agitation.

we’re all headed toward the same e n d.



By: Chicano Eddie
10-28-2016
Categories: toupees, absence, betrayal, change,
Form: Free verse

Premium MemberIf I Shopped For My Spouse Like I Shop For My Automobile

When I shop for an automobile,
I don’t worry much about speed.
Good mileage per gallon I want.
A van or a truck I don’t need!

So I guess if shopped for a spouse
the way that I shop for a car,
that means that my man wouldn’t need
much fuel, but he still could go far!

And since I can’t stand vans and trucks
(preferring a car rather small),
my man, by those very same standards,
would not be too hunky at all.

Neither too slow nor too fast, my man
would be like a Mitsubishi 
A Spyder Eclipse, rather cute,
and super efficient for me!

When I shop for an automobile,
looks matter! I love a great hue.
And sporty is nice, but oh my,
what guy in the world is light blue?

And finally this is a must -
I want a convertible top!
Does that mean that men with toupees
are spouses for whom I should shop?

The spouse I have now is not small
nor sporty; his color is grey!
He’s bald, so he’s somewhat a rag-top.
I could purchase for him a toupee!

When all my old cars put on miles,
I always considered a trade-in.
But now that I’m old like my spouse,
I don’t think I’ll go through that again!
Categories: toupees, husband, , cute,
Form: Rhyme

Streaming Video: Beam Up My Loved Ones

For time, space cannot the opportunity squander
With streaming video distant love grows much fonder
Magnetic beams glint through the wild blue yonder
Grainy, jittery images oft-forsaken hearts to ponder
Air waves blipping images through bleary transponder
Eerie prescience of the whole, but piecemeal shapes do launder
Irony, modern technology, 1930's Spanish cinema does corresponder
Crouching, girdled with adrenalin of a First Responder
Matted wigs, flat toupees across streaking screen wander
Silky-brunette locks dimmer; brown bangs look blonder
Shadows in a swirling blender, to homesick minds a bonder
Stealing a few precious minutes, then with love absconder
Categories: toupees, absence,
Form: Rhyme

Surrogate

Harlots on Harleys
Barbies on broomsticks
Midgets on widgets
Buddha on Broadway

Leaders in leotards
Players in playpens
Twinkies in Slinkies
Christ in Cabaret

Temptation of teddies
Tyranny of toupees
Ecstasy of ecstasy
Yahoo of Yahweh 

Widows with whiskey
Yoda with yen
Saviors with favors
Zeros with Zen
Categories: toupees, allegory, funny, introspection, life,
Form: Quatrain
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