Games not straight
Toffs on horses still killing foxes.
Boris parties while we put nans in boxes. Chancellor won’t pay his rate.
I tell you now, the games not straight .
Palace pays millions to get rid.
Mum shops at food bank to feed her kid.
This aint the thirties,check the date.
I tell you now the games not straight.
Multi Nationals won’t pay their fees.
Old age pensioners sit and freeze.
Patients on trolleys told to wait.
I tell you now the games not straight
Categories:
toffs, political,
Form: Rhyme
I love Mittens; they're so warm and cosy.
When harsh winds blow, that makes cheeks rosy
Thick woollen mittens do the trick
These are the hand warmers my hands pick.
Just slip your hand inside the mitt
The opening is like a slit
With a thumb at the side
Which your thumb will comfortably slide.
Mittens are so easy to wear
No way fussy gloves can compare,
Fingers can freely wiggle,
In mittens, you do not have to jiggle
Your fingers, one by one,
Like some,
Who's hands prefer gloves.
My hands like to feel free,
Gloves are too restricting for me,
It takes time to take them off
Gloves are worn mainly by toffs.
Hands of toffs are not smitten
Wearing casual, cosy mittens,
We use our hands every day
So they're entitled to have their say,
Mittens, Mittens, every time
Hands think mittens are divine,
Casual, warm, and so cosy,
When harsh winds blow, that makes
Cheeks rosy
31.12.2022
Categories:
toffs, 10th grade,
Form: Rhyme
It could be true
I often wonder if there is a secret plot.
If the virus was human-made to reduce the number
of people living in poverty, and the old?
The minorities who live in inadequate cold housing have
high risk of catching the pest.
How can the poor keep the distance when living?
In tiny flats they cannot move, a lousy diet makes them vulnerable.
They die in record-high numbers.
It was like smearing the virus in liquid for on doors
and wait.
But the hidden elite was surprised who quickly the virus spread.
It affected their own, even a prime minister,
But he was known for having a loose moral and probably
Got it from a scullery maid, in his circle of toffs it is normal
Sleeping with a maid.
When a sufficient number had died of the vaccine was introduced
They had held back for many months it is free, and we are thankful.
And think not of revolution.
Categories:
toffs, america, analogy, angst, anti
Form: Blank verse
I read about a game of football, wondered whether it was real,
Did they really pause the fighting, For some festive time to steal?
Enemies the toffs invented, all were simply duty bound,
Will to win much evidence for, football empathy was found.
Sent out there to kill each other, drop a bomb and try to maim,
But they’re 19 year old children, on both sides they’re just the same.
Girls at home and mates they’re missing, Some of them would not go home,
But that Christmas day in 14, On the makeshift pitch they’d roam.
Next day though t’was all forgotten, back to trenches, like before,
Should it all have ended that day? years left still though numbered four.
Just a few hours of enlightment, and what would it all be for?
Dead and wounded, both sides suffered, football won, but never war!
24 December 2020
Categories:
toffs, christmas, war,
Form: Rhyme
When do we knock off?
Home offices, not for toffs,
I stagger to the desktop,
Yikes, another job!
Guess it won't take me long,
Piss off my phone, should be my song,
We can afford gas for cars vehicular,
But not allowed anywhere particular,
So, we work in the home office,
Jobs designed for masochists!
Categories:
toffs, addiction, allusion, endurance, motivation,
Form: Free verse
Brexit Sonnet No. 46
‘A Brexit Gift’
What larks! A Brexit gift with double bow,
A tale of two shires with border slung between.
As cameras flash, a cashing stream doth flow
To feed and nourish London’s clear air dream.
Have I missed a move, a deliberate flit,
To lands with stranger names I do not know?
Wonder or Never look a perfect fit,
Where puff and bluff are seen to run the show.
At Camden’s line, keep thy steely gaze
‘Gainst escaping toffs with stupid schemes.
A channel bridge, some bodies to be raised;
And poetic gaffes galore with clumsy themes.
So watchtowers keep your silent, weary guard.
See him escaping, blow your whistle hard!
©Keith Murphy
Categories:
toffs, political,
Form: Sonnet
My granddaughter loves me,
that's all I need to know.
I will let the toffs and profs
who came my way now go.
For all their disparagement
why should I have the slightest care?
My granddaughter loves me
and everything is fair.
Then hark my dear detractors,
and there are many I recall,
my granddaughter loves me,
and it's yah-boo to you all.
Categories:
toffs, anger, granddaughter,
Form: Couplet
A party of toffs all so snotty
was crashed by a yokel so naughty.
After passing much gas,
this guy with no class
took a dump left unflushed in the potty.
(for those who may not know: Toff is a person of high-class society
a Yokel is an uneducated, unsophisticated person from the countryside.)
Categories:
toffs, humorous,
Form: Limerick
TRENCHANT WENCH FROM THE UNROMANTIC MIDLANDS
In the pub, I serve out the pints
My comely bosom gives a hint of home
And what men are escaping from – dreary sex
With housewives who scour the sink with vigour
Trim the joint and lard the fowl
Gristles of fat clinging to their knuckles
As the froth of beer clings to men’s beards.
England is a riff between the breakfast table and tea
Where homely condiments drown the flavour
Of each day, and newspapers live on scandal
The seamier the better. It makes the ordinary man
Happier than ever not to be one of the toffs
Glad that she can be had for a song
Save the one that lies buried in her throat.
Categories:
toffs, humorous, identity, image,
Form: Sonnet
Ladies dress up, looking their best
Pretty clothes chosen just to impress
Perfumed and pretty the ladies in high heels
Their menfolk look keen and prepare to do deals
It’s Ladies Day, at Ascot, an important event
For spending one’s money and not paying the rent
The crowd roars and cheers with tipsy excitement
Champagne overflows with the toffs and the titled
The royals parade for the eager crowd
Top hats lifted and politeness all round.
The fine horses parade sweating and anxious
Whilst trainers give jockeys tips for the action
Bookmakers sing out the odds for punters
Whilst tic tac men send secret codes to funders
Favourites are picked for substantial bets
Whilst outsiders are chosen by those with large debts
The stalls are opened and the horses surge out
Whips crack, and jockeys curse mounts
The favourite pushes through so beautifully
And the no hopers go backwards for all to see
The favourite is a winner just by a nod
the crowd cheers and eagerly collect their huge wads
For the beaten it is a day to try to forget
And the losing tickets flutter down with regret
The racegoers journey back home, fortunes spent
Whilst their ladies plan for next year’s event
Categories:
toffs, horse, race,
Form: Couplet