Toenails Poems


Premium MemberI tried to cut my toenails, but I couldn't bend

I tried to cut my toenails, but I couldn't bend.
It gets harder and harder the nearer the end.
And there's just no hope for a remedy.
Your body's becomes the enemy ~
and death a yearned for friend.
Categories: toenails, age, dark, death, old,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberWish My Toenails Were Graham Crackers

I wish my toenails were graham crackers
They would crumble instead of making holes in my shoes
I could eat the droppings
Or fashion them into a nice pie crust
They would be easier to clip and trim
I would not have to use the lawn clippers
I wish my toenails were graham crackers
Categories: toenails, 2nd grade, 3rd grade,
Form: Light Verse


Premium MemberToenails

I used to expose my toes,
went walking without my clothes.
Then, I was bolder;
now, I'm much older,
and my skunky toenail shows.
Categories: toenails, humorous,
Form: Limerick

Premium MemberMy Toenails Have Life of Their Own

My toenails have taken on a life of their own.
Unsightly appendages.
Not unlike an ugly claw foot table.
Two of them have grown sixteen inches.
Curling under my foot, leaving a crisp sharp tail as I walk.
One of them is holding a sign that says “Trim me”.
Another is looking for her birth mother.
Last but not least one is making fun of the other four.
It is difficult to ignore this.
Categories: toenails, women,
Form: Free verse

Premium MemberMy Toenails Are Atrocious

My toenails are atrocious
Ugly enough to be put into a record book
Even I gag when I look over my stomach
They stick out of my sandals in irregular points
Some are as thick as a door hinge.
They are impossible to cut, of course.
I have to use a drill on them.
I mow down pedestrians all the time with these nails.
Oh, excuse me, sorry, I did not see you.
I apologize with tears in my eyes
So they do not know how hard
I am keeping my laughter inside.
Categories: toenails, me,
Form: Free verse


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