My Toenails Are Atrocious

My toenails are atrocious Ugly enough to be put into a record book Even I gag when I look over my stomach They stick out of my sandals in irregular points Some are as thick as a door hinge. They are impossible to cut, of course. I have to use a drill on them. I mow down pedestrians all the time with these nails. Oh, excuse me, sorry, I did not see you. I apologize with tears in my eyes So they do not know how hard I am keeping my laughter inside.