Never mind my suffering
Oh, my love
Never more
I visited your city, your life
But never mind
Look, just watch, your creature
Broken life, destroyed heart
But never mind
From now a killer kind
Oh, my only love!
But never mind
Do not worry about my life!
Never fear this bad style
Do not feel, do not eat!
I just loved
You
Forget it, keep it in mind
Oh
Never mind
Never mind!
Love you
Never mind
Goodbye
But
Never mind
The price is the price.
Anything in addition
is just opinion.
Why does the dog look
at me with suspicion today
as I grab the leash?
The tunnel got darker
the further suffered;
it's just opinion.
Deep inside the warmth
of the surrounding earth,
death is a price too high to pay.
When the suffering ends,
when the light welcomes,
is just opinion.
Since your up and leaving
I’ve been heavy bleeding.
Take this restless heaving
And recycle everything of mine
I gave to you that held meaning.
Disassemble these arms
That have clung to you.
They have done nothing but weep,
So distance your name from mine.
Call me when you’re back in town
So I can dilate my eyes and hide from you.
Your gaze is too piercing,
And your body is too beautiful to me
So I can’t bear to look.
Don’t tell me when you’re gone.
Why should I have to suffer your leave?
For the seventh time, with the flashbacks.
Take your time here but leave me lonely
Unless you mean it, unless you’re ready to want me.
It will soon reach a decade passing,
Like distilled water standing
Still in its same bottle.
I am the water marinating
In the reminders of you.
Choosing suffering, and choosing
My own suffocation by not moving on.
The answers were scattered across the floor
like Scrabble letters, making perfectly formed words;
just waiting to be found by the keen observer.
All it took was for a good look around;
without that, they were just plastic spikes
waiting for stupid feet to learn truths through pain.
The door opened again
?For 26 days
26 days of hoping?
26 days of praying?
26 days of suffering
It was like 26 days in hell
?Around you, I could never be well?
Talking to you, I felt like I was in jail?
So now I quell you and never dwell?
On all the pain that made me fail
I don’t want to go through it again
?So I’ll finally close the door
?Hoping you won’t find a pit?
To make me fall back into it?
And make me suffer?
For another 26 days
In avoidance of pain & turmoil
I free myself from stubborn resistance
if Zeno of Citium were my guide
I’d fly, I’d glide, I’d know,
the natural order of the universe
instead I tumble where perception
lacks & tiers collide, I ride its waves
through chambers of vibrance,
scaled up or down, heaping hues,
strapping shapes & piercing patterns
of visual vignettes, graffiti graphics
toward tangency, I roam
rows of layered loops sorted
clarity rings forward, there is
a center piece lotus flower,
its wafting pollen stands still
as its petals protect me from falling
Electrolytes spark spasmodically
oscillate, bursting braincells
designs designate higher plains
I thirst for more euphoric phantasmagoria
& chase this balm through twisted tangles
& wiry webs of rebirth, a new existence calms
where soul separate from flesh explore
near death’s domain, a non-existence
free from outside influence
from stubborn resistance
fatigue & fallacy is painless
& in this immortal matrix,
I am faceless
each day
is my living wake
I wish you cared
& they weren't fake
my eyes are dry
tears made of dust
never mind
no one's fussed
all the f"cks
& suppressed damns
are my quiet poetry slams
rotate the fear
rearrange
the dread
ego & id
are well fed
days unlived
nights unslept
scarcity of love is kept
no howls of pain
but they twist & turn
retina & eyelids burn
tunnel vision
bottlenecks
sort through
my personal effects
recalibration
set in stone
through it all
I felt alone
reaching out
with brightly coloured gem
fear itself
I couldn't stem
hold the image
lock in view
lose balance
as all askew
life made up
of pretty rubble
but I'll commit
to be no trouble
She is beautiful, she was amazing
Always that
Still that, and will be, forever
She was my Russian language teacher
In the first moment, I loved her
The young innocent virgin boy
I loved her, but she failed me
At the end of the second year
I changed school
The perfect love was destroyed
Our paths have parted far away
It happened forty years ago
Only a few years different we have
She is so young, there is no age
She was a painting, now a dame
Her very being is etched into my soul and heart
Her memory can never be erased from my life
Never, never more in the time
My life was going into a dark labyrinth
Came just sufferings, pain, bad fate
Years and years passed away
Yes, unforgettable this perfect woman
This bleeding wound will never heal. Forever
Life, thank you for this woman
Her agonizing memory carves my soul
I love her through time and for eternity
Yes, forever
The Loop Of Suffering
It hurts bad, you can't see
sweet suffering glazed with glee
I hoped and waited I was mad
You can't see, it hurts bad.
But who am I to blame you
I was the one to long, to pursue,
You didn't utter anything to lie
To blame you, but, who am I.
This love of mine I can't ever express
and in my own hopes I become depressed
Even God never gave a sign
I can't express this love of mine.
Animals we are, can't change anything
but we do feel everything
Like a withered stuck black flower
Can't change anything, animals we are.
Kill me with that indifference
How can I be a subject of remembrance
But of ignorance indeed.
With that indifference kill me.
My thoughts and feelings nothing can inhibit
So strong, so mad. To you is the credit.
You are so desirable in all your dealings
Nothing can inhibit my thoughts and feelings.
When dawn arrives
my shadow rises before I do,
climbing the morning wall,
as if my spirit were impatient
with my body's waking.
Sometimes it drags behind,
my soul weary from having seen too much
of the world’s suffering.
Yet in the hour when the sky
spills its molten gold across the earth,
my shadow grows vast...
like some celestial titan
cast from my small frame,
as though the universe remembers
what I once was
before I was made mortal.
the world suffers
by our hands we destruct
leaving no hope
Missed Life
You knew the life and love
We met in the nineties.
You pushed me away to hell.
I suffered a lot.
In bad ways, I shared the results with you.
The half is yours, take it; it's free.
Enjoy the rest of your life, enjoy
without me but with my memory.
Missed lives
They are
also results
We’re having a heatwave
our clothes are all sweat-stained
Everyone’s dressed to the minimum
my board-shorts are all dri-wick fabric
and a bikini top hides my little secrets
How hot is it?
Standing still counts as cardio
Still, everyone is suffering beautifully
I’ve got a handheld fan that sprays mist
and getting some rewarding second glances
Those coming ashore from yachts
dressed in Missoni and Camilla couture
act like perspiration is a styling trick
but they’re casually hugging shade,
like vampires avoiding sun
If fashion is fantasy. Sweat is reality.
The heat is very democratic.
.
.
A song for this:
heat wave by Bing Crosby
.
youtu.be/lMwZ6LvY7NM
Sky of Hell
I look at the sky, eyes burning, wide,
Praying for mercy, praying for guide.
But the clouds spit fire, the winds conspire,
The weak fall silent, the vile climb higher.
The rich grow teeth, the poor bleed bone,
The honest scream, but scream alone.
I call to God, voice cracked, undone,
He answers in silence, or maybe in fun.
Does He not care? Or does He see,
How long we dance in the devil’s spree?
The crooked take crowns, the rightful kneel,
The world a blade with a poisoned steel.
I curse the sky, spit words of flame,
Yet something whispers, it’s part of the game.
A test, a trial, a cruel, dark hand,
To see how long we’ll bleed in this land.
But even as doubt claws at my mind,
Some quiet hope still stays behind.
For though His silence cuts me deep,
I trust His justice does not sleep.
Driving headlong into the morning sun
Wondering how lives become so undone
My eyes glisten with tears of wasted time
Knowing full well the answer to the crime
When we succumb to thinking we are boss
It negates the gift of death on a cross
For wide is the gate and broad is the road
Choose it and travel with a heavy load
I implore you friend, to listen to me
Choose the narrow gate, live life burden free
The path may be narrow and sometimes steep
But you can count it all joy when you weep
Jesus has a gentle and humble heart
Walk in his ways, from him never depart
His yoke is easy and his burden light
Know that we live by faith and not by sight
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