Freely admit am more than a bit of a Test cricket junkie
VIP pass doff for punky class of Bazball’s start so spunky
Revel in rocking devil may care peacocking flair so funky
But when stuttered became rather cluttered and clunky
Then Ben not with his men again is still a cheeky monkey
Iffy getting squiffy forgot curfew & in a jiffy all got gunky
Palaver in a lather farce of toff ECB job & gob of slob Key
Smelt wrong the pong not dope has felt old school skunky
Hunky stallion did quaff the trough now rapscallion donkey
Scoff not bob on plunky fob off dob em in for being a flunky
Got a cob on Baz a show off ar*e & Rob chubby and chunky
Sob should burn on the hob as each other’s jail bit*h bunkie
Turn the door k*ob in lob Baz & Bob then Ben lose the key
A wee witty ditty about Chris (the Hawk) on BBC 6 Music - as they celebrate World Poetry week
“There is a deejay called Chris
Who loves to play.. go on the pi*s (or take the p*ss)
Getting squiffy he won’t miss
Who went from spiffy quiffy bliss
To an iffy monk haircut abyss
Be remiss not to hiss at this
But still gets the gong & a kiss
Names in song we’ll never ever miss”
Lovely weather for Dunners' ducks (tongue in cheek peek at Dunedin's historic deluge)
"Stares upstairs..
Angels’ weeing above..
Be a good chap..
Show some love bruv..
Turn off the tap..
*****
No refuge from the subterfuge of the deluge..
Parched sandbag phalanxes..
Ranks marching in flanks..
Arching across busted banks..
Quaffing..scoffing..downpour spanks..
**********
Disbelief at the leisurely river Leith..
Despairing at it baring...glaring..teeth
Hurling....haring to unsheaf grief..
Mischief rashly unfurling…
Brashly whirling beneath.
Bawdry..tawdry thief...
******
Baffled..can't they see...squiffy South D in a jiffy downed..
Snaffled..drowned and raffled to the sea..
Don't they care...iffy white caps slaps..won't perhaps spare even sniffy..
Snooty..spiffy St Clair..
****
This rain ruckus.. pluvial palaver...
Whichever not whatever...
It totally sucks..
Planet forever in..
Fluvial flummoxed flux..
Tis rather lovely weather..
Though for Dunedin's ducks.."
I dunno who decided that cheese should have resided
With bits of pineapple upon a stick
I’d have hit him with a truncheon when he said a pickled onion
Would top it off: I fear he was quite sick
But here I stand with Marty, at this arty farty party
He’s eyeing up a new potential date
In truth, she’s bloody pretty, but, blimey, it’s a pity
Pineapple, cheese and onion on her plate
When a kiss tastes of cheese, it ain’t gonna please
And onion breath means instant death
To hopes of romance at the valentine’s dance
And yet she says Hi, my names Beth
They head for the floor where they do little more
Than latch onto each other’s face
So I stand here jealous, was I over zealous
When I chose to have the fish paste
My dad’s dancing dirty, the girl’s about thirty
Looks like they’re gonna be smooching till late
I check out their table as best as I am able
Onion, pineapple and cheese on her plate
So it seems that a party snack, pungent or squiffy
Does not preclude romance from you
If it stinks like cow splatter, it just doesn’t matter
So long as you’ve eaten It too
24 December 2020
Contest: Party Folk
Sponsor: Julia Ward
Solomon’s secretive solemn sassy sensuous servants and songbirds
Solicited serious Somalian solutions simultaneously with South African,
Southeast Asian, South Dakota, and South America. Squiffy, squirmy
Spiny specialized swordfish sent spiraling soon soared with sticky,
Silly starfish wearing stiletto heels. Surfboarders supposedly stepped
Over stormy streams to strip submarginal substances from slippery surfaces.
Sadly some suspected subterfuge.
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