Spanky Poems | Examples


List of Member Poems

Premium Member Riff Raff Rift

Curses! You woke my Simon Bar Sinister!

Cuz, you fondled Miss Sweet Polly's Purebred!

I'm not gonna tolerate this Riff Raff no more!

Now, you'll deal with the Mighty Underdog's lead!


So, no Shoeshine Boy today little boy!

Go on and call your Cad Lackey, he's cranky!

You're just one more of those Little Rascals!

You're all gonna get a spanking from Spanky!

Premium Member Just Stating the Obvious Poetry Contest

Television's Funster's 
Two of my favorites 
The Addams Family and the Munster's 

The Honeymooner's- with Ralph and Ed 
Their still on late at night 
Fun to watch- 'fore we go to bed 

The Odd Couple- a comedy treat 
It is certainly odd 
Oscar so messy, Felix so neat 

Fred, Barney and Dino the dinosaur 
Got to love the Flintstone's 
I must have watched them a thousand times...or more 

The Little Rascals- all of the gang 
Spanky, Buckwheat, Darla... 
Oh, and how Alfalfa Sang  

When it comes to smartness- Abbott was the worst 
Costello was the genius... 
He wrote- "Who's on first"  

The smartest man to play his part 
Obviously, it has to be Don Adams 
He was "Maxwell Smart"  

The funniest lady of them all 
The one that I love 
I Love Lucy's- Lucille Ball  


Just Stating the obvious Poetry Contest 
Sponsor: Brother Jacob 
4/24/2021

Premium Member Hanky-Panky Janky

I was pretty cranky when my spanky new bike was janky.
The frame was too short for my body, too tall and lanky.
The tires too fat, too hard to push up boggy maintain trails.
The deal I got clearly a lemon janky, all wrapped in hanky-panky.

The bike looked so nice out of the box, its chrome frame so glint and shiny.
The first sign of trouble was rust on the chain, which made me angry.
Squirts of oil needed on chain and axles, to make pedaling smooth.
Front and rear nuts needed tightening, else wheel retention was dicey.

I set off for ride, bike all fixed up and ship-shaped I hoped,
but the brakes did not work when handle grips I groped,
Disaster averted, just in nick of time, by dragging my feet on ground.
The handle bars were loose, the seat too nippy on bum, but some how I coped.

Back home from first ride, mad as hell, I swore I would return the heap of junk,
I found the guarantee and read the fine print, but my hopes were sunk
when I read that the bike could only be returned to get full refund,if never ridden!
So I’m stuck with my Jekyll janky skunk of a bike, deal a flunk, ego shrunk.


The 1st Television Misogynist

He was small and portly but their leader
didn't want anyone in the club being a cheater
with everyones full attention while seated
he reiterated his drastic thoughts and feelings,

Explaining to his buddies to steer clear
of the feminine gender some held dear
saying they were just a pain in the neck
so just to ignore them he told them was best,

The meeting was adjourned and Spanky closed the door
straightening his "Women Haters Club" sign once more
with Alfalfa feeling confident he wouldn't cave in
till Darla started flirting with him once again….



5-16-17

Child-Like To Childish

Wide eyed wonders, passing crayons on the down low
Blamelessness because they think nanny is  too preoccupied to press charges on cookie theft

And You'd Torture kids, with punches to their noses till you got the bloody knuckle
Yet You've got A deceptive young mind
You're meek-fullness guards these illegal violations 

Now you get temper tantrums when you don't get the dwink from your sippy-cup
You start acting babyish because you couldn't nap nap with pwitty pwincess

You said bad words and did bad things
 mommy wasn't watching


But you got caught by nanny and she says, 
"timeout for life and
 spanky till death!"

Mommy finished the fairy tale ,this is the end.

Rotgut

I'm stuck in the town of "Rotgut",
not far from San Antone!
I work in the "Silver Dollar",
a saloon, that's quite well known!

I'm what's known as the bar-keep,
I can't remember for how long?
It could be more than twenty years,
but, there agin I could be wrong!

There ain't much to do in Rotgut!
There really ain't much action!
In fact, the Silver Dollar,
seems to be the main attraction!

Danny's our piano man.
He loves to sit and play!
Our three Dance Hall girls are getting old
and have seen their better day!

Most nights, it's the same ole crowd,
doin' what gets done!
Jud and his pals, dealin' cards,
drinkin' beer and havin' fun!

Spanky, my ole hounddog,
lies sleepin' on the floor!
At the spot, he spends most all his time,
just inside the bars front door!

Usually, there's a stranger or two,
drinkin' at the bar!
If they're not stayin' in Rotgut,
we don't care, who they are!

Sheriff Dan, does check them out!
He lets them know this fact!
If troublemaking is their aim,
then get out, and don't come back!

That's Rotgut, as I see it!
Although, it cannot be denied,
it's a lonely, dirty, rundown place,
but, it's where us folks reside!


Where, Have All the Orangoutangs Gone

Joey wished a drink after arriving from up state a long haul
Jezabel his maiden queen, hearing once more the saloon door
Swing and parting her bloomers ? Pomagranate lips as coconut oil
She ran to he whom placed one silver dollar, within her palm; while their
Curious children did gaze on; both barefoot, and need of a bath ? Reaching into his
New havens imported polar bear pouch; grasping a handful of camel jerky, tossing it their way
Scrambling about the dusty floor amid joyful glee ? Alfalfa Spanky As Buckwheat; Darla, left wondering.

Move Over

hola sh!t!
who are YOU?
spanky girl
in thigh high
boots! whoah!
shadow long
disguised a form
petite in size
since the day
i was born
wHip! my lip
sticks out
and I pout
when I don’t
get what i want
Patient as
spit on a fire
and I come out
with intent
and desire
so move over…
gentlemen
it’s time to hire
something that works
cosmic my
Rogue.ish grammar
burped a turd
into propers
manners…
top robers
robbers of our hood
I’m a vent I said
and you’re the Marylin
with your panties all wet

I’m moving in
and taking over this place.



"...Marlin, it wasn't my club..."

"...look out, the ocean's mad..."

Buck Cup

Drink from buck cup - hiccup!
Shot booze - snooze zzzzzzzs
Bee buzz. Honey in tea for me
One eye open, need buck cup
Lucky cup, supper drink a cup
Of brewed cinnamon brew too
Blues on the radio, sip. Dip
Cookie, I'm no rookie to drip
Drip, coffee smells fill the room
Smoking cigarettes, no regrets
Filling the pages without gloom
Fruit juice with my coffee morn
A new day is born. No morning
Can start my day without dismay
I can say it's the day of mourning
No scorning, no spanky, no hanky
Angels on high, sigh a sign of relief
That grief has left, deaf to my ear
No fear, no more tears, no jeering
Just pretty earrings, pearls of oysters
Oyster crackers in my soup. Scoop
A story with glory to the flags on
The wall. Eagles in the hall, tall and
Small.  On the walls: fish and dishes,
Tall tales, whales, foxes, boxes of
Dishes - I wish forever more to store
My things and bring happiness to 
Those without a doubt. In a drought
I have water. Slaughter a cow, how 
Else can you grill without the kill.
Still waters run deep in my buck cup.
I will still hiccup, and supper potluck.

Do You Remember?

Do You Remember?

Do you remember "Spanky" Mcfarland on "Our Gang"?
Wasn't he talented, smart, and cute to boot?!
And how about Alfalfa, with his love for lil Darla,
and his hair shaped in a point?
One of a kind, and loads of laughs.
Such talent behind those pens.
And those were the days my friends.


And how about the"He-Mans Woman Hater's Club",
and the "Genie Lamp", which Spanky did rub?
One of a kind, and loads of laughs.
Such talent behind those pens.
And those were the days my friends.


What about Butch, Froggy, and Norm?
Petee the Dog, Buckwheat, Stymie, and Weezer?
Weren't we always excited to watch em'?
Viewing this Gang was such a crowd pleaser!
One of a kind, and loads of laughs.
Such talent behind those pens.
And those were the days my friends.



Copyright McCuen 2009

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