Short Smart Ass Poems

darn cat
found my secret stash
of "catnip"



AP: 2nd place 2021

Posted on March 13, 2021...

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its end shall be soon
the dandy fan thinks the moon
just a merely stone

old smart ass baboon
hard worker older mason 
rings like elder phone...

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I caught me a green leprechaun
He lied said his gold was all gone
I gave him a kick
He spit out a brick
I kicked his smart ass all day long



     By Daniel Turner...

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There once was a lad who loved to eat soup
He made it with beans so he'd always poop
   He'd let out a fart
   His arse it would SMART
~ Yet his friends thought him a big nincompoop...

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Why do puppies like to chew up paper
To ingest the news I'm thinking, this caper
Smart ass puppies
Smarter than guppies
They just swim around smiling back at us gapers...

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Why do puppies like to chew up paper
To ingest the news I'm thinking, this caper
Smart ass puppies
Smarter than guppies
They just swim around smiling back at us gapers...

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King darius escaped to save his a-s
Smart move smart decision low pitch bass
There is no need to be nice
Think again think twice and think thrice
What lesson do we learn?
Run escape take you turn.....

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i'm not an intellectual
really
i'm not

i've read a book
or two

lost a buck
or few

i'm not an intellectual
really
i got

more heart
than brains

more wings
than chains

besides,
a smart ass
is exactly that...

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Did you fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works
Now that was a smart-ass answer... help! I need a nurse
Preferably a sexy one
To make me come undone
Will intentionally injure myself, first time since birth...

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Told my 4 year old, it's normal to poop your pants
He's still laughing, as I hold my crotch and do a little dance
Mean you, you little smart ass
Gave his head a good whack
Might have made him smarter than me perchance...

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Shut your beak!
Leave me in peace!
Go and find your own branch please.
I've had enough!
You're way too much,
Dancing and larking around and such.
Twittering on at me all night,
now it's dawn, I've had no sleep.
You can't shut your smart ass beak,
I'll shut it for you feathered freak!

For contest 'enough'
10th place win...

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The time is now,  rehearsal is done.
Sync all you smart ass phones,
Reduce your ego: now's the time.
The time has come, get in line.
Push off your soccer games and nameless blames,
Decompress your opinions: there has come a time.
The time will show, hearts will reel.
Boast no more in great glory feigned,
Unloose your sandals: it's showtime....

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Hungry for a chump to do as I say
a stupid little man to simply look the other way

A well endowed stallion who breaks me off everyday
some sprung guy that gives me money before he goes away

Hungry for a hunk, like the finest thing to see
a ridiculously rich boy who wants to be used by me

So hungry for a chump that wants me to be his wife
yet stays satisfied with supporting me the rest of my life....

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