Short Relapse Poems

Aided by autumn
Spring relapses to winter.
How strange are His ways!...

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Man's  sick
Move quick
Collapse
Relapse

Relieved
Believed
God heals
Soul thrills....

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~one step forward, two steps back; once sober,  again drinks funny water~




Date written: 08/29/2022...

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when we could collapse
what we had was a relapse
filled would be the gaps

things had been a drag
did have to apply a tag
we would brag and brag...

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creep into that wasted house
no structure to reinforce
what has been hollowed out

one day soon these walls will collapse
and the cause will be chiseled in the ashes
Relapse...

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For every step forward, take two steps right back.
Without you I'm stuck in relapse.
Poison hearts will never change.
It's so unfair that you're in control.
Now watch as it destroys me....

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I don't care about the things I promised to him, to her, or myself
Dreams are only fulfilling lies
Love is only a temporary high
I'll go back down in my comforting fire
'Til luck finds my way and decides to stay after all...

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I suppose I had no choice
                         …but to collapse.
I'll always lose my path among the wreckage;
I can't keep my spirit from fleeing its traps.
What's the matter with me?
              …I solace in this relapse....

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Broken promises
Dagger through the heart
Silent heaving sobs
Why did it start?

Healing wounds
Comforting words
Relapsing Pain as
Photos return.

Haunting love
Tainting its name
Dagger through the heart
Overwhelming shame....

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I fell in love with a girl
And on that day
She took my heart
And she went away

Now she's back
Nothing is new
She still has me
What can I do?

So we'll talk and laugh
Think back to that day
Remember the memory
And reminisce away...

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A quake took place
between my shoulder blades
teeth ground to dust behind my face
the scraping of tectonic plates
scared me to my hiding place
bottles and blankets, a child’s space
it cannot withstand the shakes
that are now all too commonplace....

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DO IT!!!
There is no more use
Your skin,
Just make it bruise…

Nearly a year
One…
It’s just that one relapse I fear

Just one line…
That’s all I want!
Would that be fine?

It’s the disappointment
From them all.
Just because of that one fall...

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I flap, remembered
through treacherous gusts:
freedom dismembered
by old bloodline trusts

assuring collapse
with floods of treaties
prompting a relapse
of diabetes

bursting the synapse
in chemical sway,
tightening those bootstraps
till trust fades away....

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Propped up on willpower strong
Wants and needs in war prolong
Tested far beyond my means
Clinging tight to hopes and dreams

Each day teeters on near collapse
Strength in danger enabling relapse
Endless trials pain and sting
What new battle will tomorrow bring?

...

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  Stitched in braille from life's mishaps
    the horrors and the pain relapse
  Even on the quietest shores
    his haunts invaded evermore

  Long ago, the peaceful dreams
    buried deep by sirens' screams
  Transports rushing through the night
    the ghosts of war, never white...

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There's a piece of my life
  I hide away
    from the light of day

keep under wraps
  to prevent relapse
    yet it lies right there
  
naked and bare
  should I dare
    glance or glare
  
so, that piece of my life
  still hidden away
    in ambush to scare
  
me if I dare --...

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I wonder,
Who I will be,
When I age.

I often find myself,
At a loss,
When asked who exactly I am.

I tend to brush the chestnut locks,
Only attempting to contain my face,
Away,
And peer down,
At my steadfast feet.

I do not even know me,
Me!
It causes my heart to shrink,
And relapse....

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At just a glance 
I have one more chance 
For every microsecond,
that advances 
You have just a minimum amount of time 
To relapse and forgiveness hovers all around you 
All you have to do is embrace it and be freed from your troubles

9/9/20
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr © 2020...

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She paints everything purple when she's high
Violet clocks and lavender shelves get her by
He smiles, wishing the clock could rewind
He hates the drugs, at least he's color blind
She hates being like this
She covers her room in amethyst
She knows he sees her addiction is back
It's evident as her world is splattered in lilac...

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Many people don’t
Understand all the
Limitations we face.
These affect each
Individual differently yet
People continue to
Laugh when we
Experience “MS Moments”

Some moments like:
Cognitive and memory
Loss along with
Extreme fatigue can
Ruin plans with
Others because even
Stress can make
Individuals with MS
Suffer a relapse...

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With myrtle and listenability
I undertake the words of the prophets
Memories relapse in an unhealthy fashion
Man the forgetful
this rectangular mouth
compromises loftily
The Moons harsh splendour
boasts its specious context
as marigold and beam
sway across my October windowsill
like salt peter cleansing the pelt
truth is unburdened...

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Splatters of Paint
                            There she goes again
          With her relapse
                                        Doomed for perfection

Pain is her canvas
                                      Only this time
      There are bright colors
                                                Matching the flowers
Outside her room...

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Fading into the dark,not able to escape.
 I'm not ready , but its not my choice and i hope its not fate. 
It happened again, 
I just cant control it, and when i relapse it will be there again staring me in the face. 
This demon i cant get rid of. 
Its an addiction but also a curse. 
The end is coming soon and i'm just not ready. 
Not ready to die....

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Efficiency, anxiety
Result, vanity
Success, burnout

Alienation, disguise
Unconscious, relapse
Control, coact
Apologist: own merit!

Arbitrary, reclusive
Circus, bread
Conscious, blurred
Acceptance.

Commotion, trivialization
Affection, weakness
Love, liquid
Affliction, medication

People can no longer
Human beings.

- Bruna Beatrice....

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This relapse is pending
So go on and judge me
Still breaking and mending
Who you'd never want to be

Once happy, now sad
But it goes back again
Happy's the fad
Among judgmental men

This roller coaster
Of thoughts in my mind
All of you critics
Will be happy to find

Too many times jaded
The happy times faded
I'll go on and say it
I am medicated...

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